All you need is love or could it be this simple?

Yes i need love in my simole life....

I think it could if both partners were willing to put the effort into it. Both partners have to be willing though. I also think that the relationship must not have come to a certain point too. I know that before in certain situations for me there was a point in which I was just through and no matter what the effort..I wasn't responsive at all. A shame but I couldn't help how I felt.

Hi, D.! John and I were the best of friends since we were very young kids, and I think that's why our marriage is marvelous.

of course it can work if both people really want to learn how to make their marriage work better. I and my deceased husband used to use some of these ideas. The first thing we started to do was learn each others emotional needs and act accordingly. It takes a little practice but is well worth it. also i think a key word is respect, do we respect each other, as in I do not like someone even my hubby when he was alive walking in on me when I am on the throne. If I am just combing my hair thats fine,I can share the bathroom but otherwise do not intrude. My husband on the other hand did not mind letting me in inspite of that,but I chose to wait. all just little things but they annoy and thus we learn to respect the other person needs. this makes for amuch pleasanter time together. We learn to brainstorm together and to argue and to compromise when necess

It's not that simple! Let me tell you, my hubby is one of those ones who is repetitive and it drives me nuts! I've told him since way back when we were just in the dating phase that he needed to stop certain things because they automatically get me hot under the collar. Eight years later he still hasn't stopped, and I've tried every approach imaginable to get him to stop. He swears he'll stop, but never does. At this point it's just habit to do these things, and sometimes he does them without thinking. I mean, none of it's major, not going to wreck our marriage over it, it just drives me nuts and I wish he'd stop!

[b]Those are the only things, coupled with a blessing from God, that do work! Why wait until a marriage is ready to fall apart to try them? If a couple begins with complete communication, honesty, a desire to please the other, & so on, unless one or both of them undergo a complete personality shift, it will keep them from drifting apart! Oh, a caveat about "communication." It does not mean you must confess stuff to the other that happened before you were even dating, nor does it mean that if you commit adultery, you have some obligation to "get it off your chest" so YOU will feel better. That will only destroy the other's trust--& to what benefit? None! Worse, if by that time you have children, they would suffer the consequences of your vanity if your crushed spouse divorced you. Broken homes are never a good thing! So just ask God to forgive your errors, recommit yourself to the marriage, & move on. Don't be selfish. Maggiepie___^..^

It sounds far to simple and I guess the big part is that the 2 People still love one another and are willing to refresh their Marriage I do hope it can work as it might help some Marriages to get the Marriage back together

Dawn it all sounds very logical and "abc" to me. The main ingredient is a desire to WANT things to work out. If that is there, there is no barrier.

Sounds good. But Dawn, you know I am very disenchanted with relationships right now. Maybe someday in the far off future I will believe in love again. Yes, divorce has soured my outlook. I hope this article you read is of great benefit for you. It is good you are looking for answers to questions. Me? I quit asking the questions. But then again, that is just me and not you. God Bless you with answers to your questions. May you find what you seek.

I can't speak for everyone but, I think some of it is true but, my marriage has been failing for quite some time and he will never stop his stupid habits. somethings just stay the same and you can't get that away from them. say for interest my husband likes to collect junk and I saw the way his sisters live and they live in cluttered places and say oh I might need that one day! Do you get my point? this is not sellable stuff it's only stuff they won't part with. They all love thrift stores and thats because it's cheaper. I personally don't like anything much anymore about him. He will be leaving again, this time for seven months and it's going to change everything this time. As for you my dear friend you should try to save your marriage. Is it really what the two of you want? Please ask yourself questions like can we really communicate openly or will we hold back something? Lay it all on the table and take a real hard look at it cause if you want to really make it work you have got to figure out the things that really bother you both. My husband perfects everything I do and makes me feel stupid,so one day he didn't like the way I cooked something or how I cleaned so, now he has that job and I just sit back and play. Maybe he's leaving cause he's overworked . aaawwwww!

you are so right for hoping for your marriage to work and, I think that is where you both have to start is with some hope! good luck to you and quit worrying so much and just keep trying! luv ya both, joyfulpraise

Oh thank you Dawn, I nearly passed by when I saw the link but you thought of me. As one who got annoyed by the other persons predictable behaviour and regression into some patterns which are just a no no for me, such as sulking, or having to be told repeatedly the basic things in life which a child of 7 has already mastered, to me that just makes the person lose all their attractiveness. For me once that has gone I'm done. I finished mine and I don't regret it as I've only got one life and can't imagine spending it with someone who annoys me. You certainly see a different side though when you want to divorce and the other person doesn't want it. I wouldn't have had your patience to try and work on it as I'd totally lost interest. You've got 3 children though so there's more at stake. Mine was working away so wasn't around as much at the end so it was less of a blow for my son. But funny how in the end the doting father ends up making the son being the one to pay for my choice by hoping that by not sending a penny of support for his son I'll go back to him. If you both think there's something worth salvaging though, and the attraction is still there, then go for it.

Yes and no. It is simple, and it does work in general. The problem is, most people assume that the "you get the love back by" area is what the *other* person is supposed to do. So two people are in the middle of a marriage break down. The one gets on the web site and reads up: Do things that meet the other persons emotional needs. Do not do things that bother, annoy, anger, hurt. Communicate openly Spend time together. So then think "Oh wow! That's exactly what our problem is!" run off and get their spouse to read it. They also agree "You are right! That is exactly what our problem is!" Then they both wander off to their respective places in the house, and wait for the other person to meet their emotional needs, stop doing things that bother and annoy them, and wait for them to communicate openly, and hope they eventually spend time together. Both of them expect the other to do, what they both know needs done. Then when it doesn't happen, they both think "well obviously my spouse is a jerk. They know exactly what needs to be done, to make me happy, and they are not doing it". So they both go right back into a marriage spiral, and this time they are angry because they know the other isn't doing what they need to, in order to make them happy. So is it simple? Yes. But it's the hardest thing in the world to get two self centered people to do.

people can change but if they have to whats the point in being together? and if they do really want to be together whats the point in leaving? stay with someone for who they are and how u feel around them

Dawn, i hope it works for y'all. Can't hurt to try it. GOOD LUCK.

It seems to me for this to work both parties must be clear as to the goals and expectations in this agreement, after all most of the problems start and end with communication. It's best to put it in writing and both to sign. Do not sign unless you totally agree with everything in the contract, work on the wording until you both are satisfied. You will be amazed on how much better you are both feeling after just doing the work to get the contract made. Blessings

Just dropping in to say Hi. I'm WAY behind on my friends posts. Sorry for the generic comment. Happy Holidays!!!