Messy children.....

I have three kids to get up and ready for school each day. My oldest is pretty good about it; he will make sure that his clothes are clean and he looks decent. My younger son, who is 9, is pretty good about wearing clean clothes, but sometimes, it is hard to get him to wear clothes that match well. My daughter, on the other hand, gives me fits a lot. She dresses fairly well, most of the time, but there are times when she is wearing clothes that don't quite match or may be clean, but have a stain on them. Normally, she will brush her hair without problems, but there are days when it is a fight to get her to use a brush at all. Those are the days when she goes to school with her hair looking bad. It isn't that I don't get them up early enough, it isn't that I don't do my beset to get them dressed in decent clothing and be well-groomed, it is simply that thoe days, when she (or the boys) give me problems, I decide that it is more important for them to be at school on time than to have a big fuss and fight about brushing hair. My daughter is one that will do anything and everything to avoid doing things unless she wants to do them. I will not make the other kids late for class over her hair. If she chooses not to brush it as she knows she should, I let her go to school with her hair looking bad. My kids normally bathe at night, so in the morning, they don't have much to do to get ready. I do not allow television on in the morning, nor do I allow video games. They simply procrastinate at times and end up going to school looking less then their best. I am one of those parents who can understand messy hair, mis-matched clothes, and even clothes that are not in the best of shape, but I cannot understand a dirty face. It can be difficult at times to get a child, esspecially an independant and stubborn child, to dress well and brush their hair, but, even kids like this can have their face clean.

I always try to make sure my kids are presentable and that they represent the family. If the kid looks like a mess then the parents don't take any pride in their appearance either. Now I know some parents don't have a lot of money to spend on clothes but they can make their kids at least have some pride in themselves.

I don't get that either. my baby girl is 5. I make sure she is scrubbed and washed every morning. her hair is brushed and looking pretty as a picture. i make sure i brush her teeth each morning before she leaves the house. I see children all the time who look like they just crawled out of bed. it's heart breaking really. not everyone has money however, that doesn't mean your children should look clean and put together!

hi mommyboo well I am well past that stage as I am a senior citizen but my son was always neat and clean. I am wondering if some of these kids may be from homes where dad is the one who has custody as a man's idea of neat and clean may differ from slightly to dramatically different from a moms idea of neat and clean. Or again they may be from wealty homes where the maid or aupair or other person may be the only one who oversees the child getting off to school. it has to be either the parents are gone or are in bed or just not paying any attention to how the child is dressed. sounds like kids who are pretty much on their own at that time of day anyway. thats sad.

i know what you mean, my daughter is in kinder 2 and the night before i always see to it that her things are already prepared for the morning so we wont be in a rush. I always see to it that she is properly groomed and all.. maybe, there are just parents who cannot see such importance? or maybe they cannot wake up early lol.. i do not see any reason really why they cannot do such for their kids:)

I think there MIGHT be some parents that just don't care, but for instance with my daughters hair, I brush it every morning, but by the time she gets home from school she looks like she's been through a wind tunnel, especially now since it's winter and she's wearing a hat to cover her ears. My sister is one of those parents that just don't care. I remember having to help my nieces and nephews get ready for school while I was trying to get myself ready. I'm not sure about other parents, but I make it a point to get up and make them a good breakfast and while they're eating I get their clothes and everything else ready for them.

Oh dear, my Naomi... she hates combing her hair, doesn't care if her pants are too short, etc. I battle with her all the time. Just disappeared all her size 6 pants so she's forced to wear the 7s. but hair brushing, oh what a battle...

Hi, mommyboo. Yes, I can see what you mean. Sometimes kids can dress their ownselves. They did not have anyone at home help them to get ready. They just dressed the best way that they can. My son will be eight tomorrow on his Birthday. And, I still make sure that he brushed his teeth and comb his hair in the mornings. I will do this until he turns at least 10 years old. I want to make sure that he is clean and neat when he leaves to go to school. Maybe the parents of this child is not paying any attention how their child leaves for school in the mornings. I know that I pay strict attention to mines. I agree with you, I have walked my son to school last year without showering. When I get back home, I will just take me a shower then. I am pretty sure that other moms have done the same thing too.

Well to me that depends on the age of the child. My kids are able to shower, dress themselves and comb their own hair and brush their own teeth. THe combing thing however I have to every day remind them to do that and to brush their teeth *face palm* The thing is that because they have inherited my hair genes, you can brush their hair all pretty but in less than 5 minutes their hair is looking like heck again. I don't know how or why. Thats just how it happens. Also you really don't know what those kids were doing on their way home. When I was a child there was a playground on our way to the bus stop. Well by the time we got to school we were filthy from playing. The social service came to our home because they thought our parents didn't wash our clothes and bathe us when really it was us playing.

That may not be intended to ruffle feathers but it just might. I will be having to ask, Are you a stay at home mom? What if these kids are responsible for getting themselves up and to school, because Mom, worked the night shift and is sleeping, and Dad is to busy getting ready to go to his work to help. Or that it just may be possible the Parents of these children simply don't care about how their children present themselves? Perhaps they let the child choose for themselves? For all you know, these kids could be homeless, and not have a place to take a shower everyday, yet you judge..."all kids should be clean and presentable"... That is what I took from that statement. Look deeper before making judgments. It might even be, that the children put up too much of a fight, and the parents give up, or it could even be possible, that they are bathed and hair combed got clean clothes on, but by the time they get to school, they decided to take a roll in the dirt and play in the trees. Cheers.

Oh my gosh, you just described my daughter this morning. LOL. Seriously, she had plenty of clean clothes and what she wore was clean, it just hadn't been pressed. It was a skirt and a school T-Shirt and tights. The thing was she pulled the skirt out of my basket of stuff that needed to be pressed. But, I do know what you mean, there are kids that go to her school that come in every day in clothes that don't fit them properly. They are wearing things with holes and stains and a little bit of everything. I really feel sorry for these children too. I understand that there are a lot of people that aren't as lucky as us, but to make sure that your child is wearing clean clothes and to make sure that their hair is brushed is not asking too much.

Hi, Mommyboo. This makes me so distressed. I befriended a girl once who had two beautiful little girls. The girls got themselves up in the morning, while she lay in her bed. She didn't work, had hardly worked her whole life, and those kids got up and out to school themselves. Then they wouldn't get home until around 3pm, and the second they came in the door, she started screaming at them to get out of her face. I was there one day, and it was the first time I'd seen the extent of it, they came in saying "this happened, that happened" and she just could not tolerate them. So I spoke to her about it once the girls were out of the room, said what a shame for them, all they wanted to do was share their day with her! Then, once, I babysat for them overnight. It was halloween, but a party was more important to her. Her eldest was going away the next morning for a 5 day school trip, and was really upset her mum wasn't going to be there in the morning. Her response "But it's a party!?!". So she hadn't any of the things for her daughters trip packed! When the girls got up in the morning, I asked what they wanted for breakfast, and they looked at me like I had green horns. "We only get breakfast at the weekends at grannys house." Well, they were flaming well having their breakfast when I looked after them! Told them to jump in the shower. They said they didn't wash in the morning, their great gran who lived next door shouted them in most mornings to wipe their face with baby wipes because she didn't want them to go to school with dirty faces. Well, they had their faces washed when I watched them! I asked them the night before to get their clothes ready for morning. None of their school clothes were clean. They told me "Mum just gets it back out of the clothes basket if we don't have anything to wear." So I had to do a washing to make sure they had clean clothes. When it came time to brush their teeth after breakfast, they had no toothbrushes! Their mum had been meaning to get them new ones for over a week! But she could afford a new outfit for her party! They were highly delighted that I did their hair for them. All of it was just heartbreaking. I decided to end my friendship with her, I practically hated her after finding all of that out. But I did go to her grandmother, and tell her to do something, or I would be reporting her. The oldest girl had been bullied at school, called "tink" because of her dirty clothes, etc. But it sounds, from your story, like it isn't that uncommon.

I don't have my own kids. But I know what you mean. It's just the general attitude of families. Some families are too busy to dress their kids up in the morning. Both mother and father working etc. I think all parents would care about their children being dressed up nicely unless they had something a lot more important on their minds that needed to be taken care of. Some children are obstinate too. They don't want to get up early in the morning and take the time to dress themselves up properly. It's a hard enough task for their parents to get them up early and ready for school in time.

Eversince I was little, I would always shower before going to school. Since we moved to north america, my kids have taken the habit of taking baths at night before they go to bed. This means they don't take showers in the morning. They do have clean clothes, and I always ask them to wash their faces, but they always have hairs that look like they just rolled out of bed.