Grudge giver, responsible giver, heart giver.This Christmas, which one are you?

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I cannot forget the homily that I have heard I think 3 or 4 Sundays ago. Its lessons struck me and somewhat made me feel a little embarrassed and I admit, I have not been a heart giver these past Christmases. But I did become a heart giver in my life before, really. When my job was really doing well, I have been earning good and it seems money never gets consumed and like my income is over-flowing, it always makes me happy to give gifts to my grandchildren and younger cousins. I do not look at the amount I need to spend just to make them happy. I used to be happy when I am able to give. But these past 2 years things have changed. I don’t give alms anymore and I feel more nervous and sad whenever occasions such as birthdays and Christmas are coming because these occasions would mean spending. And from a heart giver, I have become a responsible giver. I just give because it’s my responsibility to give. Less thinking it is a good deed to give and giving with hesitations. I guess my financial status affected the way I give or help people. To make it clearer to you, according to the homily a grudge giver is someone who is mad when giving, more likely with the unwillingness to give and without love. A responsible giver is someone who gives just out of responsibility and still with hesitations and without the love. While a heart giver is someone who gives out of love. So, which one are you this coming Christmas?