Do You Ever Feel Taken Advantage Of?

I understand what you feel Ms. dorannmwin. But I haven't experienced such situation because my siblings aren't married yet. Anyway, I hope you'll be able to discuss what you feel with your brother and her wife. It's so nice of you to help them out considering their situation but it doesn't mean that you'll have to give so much, leaving no time for yourself and you family.

I feel like a lot of people take advantage of me, or have taken advantage of me, but eventually it will come to haunt them. I have learned not to tell people who I am. I have learned to remain silent until I know who the person is. I have developed major trust issues because people have taken advantage of me.

Wow you are caught between a rock and a hard place but I have been there too.I once had a friend who I lent my last money because I knew he was in need of money and promised me to give me back the money .However when the time came for me to get my money ,it was forthcoming because he knew that I was kind hearted . Another way in which I was taken advantage of was by a young lady who I was persuing and who only used me to pay for her bills because she knew I was kind.

What a situation to find yourself in.Maybe you could pay someone to give you a few hours off.Just explain to your sister it is getting a bit to much.I expect day care is more expensive.Day care might do the kids good why don't you say you will have them a few days a week and the rest of the time they must use day care.Find a nice place They are definately taking advantage of you.I do hope you can sort this sorry situation out soon.Just remember one thing they are not your kids,it is not down to you to sort their life out.I know you love them and want the best,but you may as well adopt them properly and end up with a big family.What about your own son.I have seen this before when people have put so much effort into other peoples kids they sadly neglect their own who grow up thinking their mama loves someone else more.

Yes! I do feel that people take advantage of me. I am a very introvert person and I can't refuse anybody for any work. I am very shy and reserved so every body tries to take advantage of my behaviour and I dont like it at all!

Hi dorannwin..been there also with neices and nephews. It was like because auntie had the kids it was okay to go shopping after work or even go home and get some of their own stuff done before picking up the little ones. I was watching the kids for nothing and I didn't mind..family helps family. However..when I started to feel taken advantage of I let them know. I told them that as much as I loved these kids I had my own stuff to do that they needed to respect..if they wanted to leave the kids so they could run their errands without them, then they would need to run my errands as well. I also told them that it would only be fair if I could drop my grandson off at their place for a few hours of me time. They happily agreed. I should probably qualify all this by saying I was watching my great neices and nephews so I am more like a parent to the adults in this situation. I can see where yours is a little harder. But I still think you need to speak up because this is the kind of thing that won't stop on it's own. Maybe before you talk to them you could call a few daycares and get the rates of what they would charge for the same amount of hours you have the kids. Let your brother know what a deal he is getting at 80 bucks a week, around here that wouldn't cover 3 days in daycare. Faced with paying double what they pay you I would think that the daycare threat is an empty one that only has weight because it works on your kind heart..I bet if you called his bluff and let him know you had done some research for him, they would pick the kids up on time. Good luck.

I am sorry you feel that way, maybe you should talk to them. If you only have them 4 days a week, it would only be 28 hours at 7 hours a day, but if that was not what you feel it should be talk with them. I have one person in my family that I feel that way about. You ask them for help, and they never have time, but they are always needing something.

i had a friend that i was trying to help out with sort of the same situation as you but she was hardly paying me anything at all! i finally got fed up and gave up and told them to make other arrangements.

Yes, I have been in that same situation more than once, and like you, out of love, it truly made it hard to set some rules. I would make the effort, though, as you also have a life and it is you doing them the favor. Just be simple and honest about your own needs in this, and ask them to pick the girls up as originally agreed. Say it with a smile and hope that they will understand. I doubt it they want the children in daycare either, so that threat might be an idle one, but very unfair to you for them to keep going there. Besides, when they discover the cost of daycare?? They might relent and quit using that. Best of luck, Karen

I guess I am sort of in an opposite situation. I don't have anyone watching my little one regularly, but some days I had to be somewhere where I couldn't take her - so my mom or sister had been watching her. They were mostly appointments, where I'd only be gone a couple hours . . . but as they said go ahead and take my time to get things done, I'd be out for nearly most of the day. I felt bad because I know my little one can be a handful . . . but oh I got so much done. Anyway, I realized I could be taking advantage of the situation, so I started coming back earlier or brought food back ... whatever I could to "make up" for it. Now I don't have all these appointments, so my mom and sister have their full days back Anyway, your situation reminded me of my neighbor friend who took care of our neighbor's newborn for $25 a week (full time for 5 days a week - for $25 that's insane). She also had her own toddler son to take of. I told her $25 was way too cheap (to handle a newborn all day, all week???). The newborn's parents took advantage of her . . . they were supposed to pick the baby up after work .. . and then slowly the time got lengthened more and more. My friend could not do ANYTHING and she felt that her own son was losing out - and he was. The parents moved to another apartment . . . so my friend took the opportunity then to say she couldn't watch the baby anymore. Apparently they were furious . . . they were telling her they were paying more rent now, and this babysitting price was agreed upon and was taken account of into their budget. But who was taken advantage of? I was shocked that they were mad about it - especially since they were the ones who took advantage of their sitter. I think it's best to talk it over with your brother and sister in law ... they are family (not like my friend's situation above). They at least need to know what's going on and how you feel about it. Perhaps the 3-4 hours just turned into 6-7 hours (just crept up like how it happened to me) - and they don't realize it, or how it's taking "your" time away. Maybe they can't give you more money, but at least they would be more conscientious about the time they leave their girls with you.

It is the family that mostly exploits. And when that happens the choice is between justice and breaking a family tie. I would go for justice. Whats in family relationships these days anyway. I have been exploited lift, right and centre and have learnt my lesson alright.

Yes, all the time at work and in life in general. At work I am under paid and over worked. I have went the extra mile to be successful, by going back to school, just to hear we do not give incentitives for degrees. Wow... that hurts. After you been her so many years. Then, you have people making way more money than you and no degree. That really hurts... So, what do you do? Then there are those friends that only want to talk to you when they need something. There is the neighbor that needs something everyday. Then there is your sibling who depends on you. Then there's the other friend who is always complaining about what they don't have. SO, you feel sorry and give them what they need. Then there are those who swear and promise to pay you back time and time again and never do. Everywhere you go you are taking advantage of.

Well, in my life there have only been a few times where I have been taking advantage of such as during school. School's here promote us, the kids, to make them look good by making us do projects and stuff, so they can attract more parents to start sending their kids there. I hate doing things like models of things, where they will be presented to customers of the school to make them look good, especially since if I don't do it, I would get a low assesment. Not to mention, the school used to make us give some money to them whenever the principle or a teacher had their birthdays. Pretty unfair, don't you think? Familywise, yes I've been taken advantage of by my brother who lied to me when I asked him whether or not he was taking money from me and not paying it back. In this case, since he's my brother, i forgave, but only after days of him begging me to. As for the last question, I would, as children need attention from the parents and family and not from some stupid daycare, you must take care of your children yourselves in order to know them and for them to see you as someone who cares in their lives