my sincere apologyh

making apologies do you find it hard at times?

By Patsie Hatley

@Hatley (163776)

Garden Grove, California

December 10, 2009 10:30am CST

Sometimes it is hard when you did not intend something to happen when you made a discussion, and you hurt a fellow mylotter but my conscience will not let me rest until I apologize for somehow inadvertantly getting a users name into my discussion on making a lot of discussions, it was not intentional and I sincerely do apologize. It was never my intent to hurt anyone really,'all I wanted was to remind others that we do not get paid for other people's responses to our discussions no matter how many we make, and we do get paid for our comments. so again please forgive me my fellow mylotter,this is very hard for me, and I feel embarrassed but it must be done. to make this a real discussion does anyone else ever have a hard time making an apology?

6 people like this

25 responses

@rosepedal64 (4188)

• United States

11 Dec 09

Hi Hatley How are you doing my dear? It sounds like that you are trying to beat up on yourself. Now you stop that dear. Like one of the other responders said we are just human and human makes mistakes. I also noticed that you said that you felt better now getting it off your chest and making an apology. Im real glad to hear that you feel better. Have a nice day and as always Keep Smiling.

3 people like this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

hi rosepedal64 I am fine, even my arthritis in my left shoulder is much better, yesterday I was in horrid pain. I do fell better Now I have apologized, and mylot admins knows now about the snafu that ended up with me having two similar apology discussions when I just wanted to make one.

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

16 Dec 09

hi hope your legs are better now,its warmed up a bit now and my shoulder is much better too. keep smiling and confound your enemies. he he he.

@rosepedal64 (4188)

• United States

13 Dec 09

That is great Hatley that you are feeling better. I think that your arthritis decided to come and visit me for a few. I woke this morning acky all over. My legs and knees are killing me today. I have to go out to the store and that is going to be a painful trip for me. Keep smiling.

1 person likes this

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@dawnald (85146)

• Shingle Springs, California

10 Dec 09

I have a hard time making an apology if 1) I don't think I was in the wrong or 2) the person is pushing for a forced apology as opposed to spontaneous or 3) the person is making a much bigger deal than the situation warranted (in my opinion). In those situations, I may apologize anyway, but you may not hear a lot of sincerity in my voice. Otherwise, no I don't have a problem with apologizing.

3 people like this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

hi dawnald I seem to be on the receiving end of goofs this week , but I assure everyone I did not make two discussions on the same topic here intentionally. My lot took so long to load the first one that after fifteen minutes I just assumed that either mylot or firefox was having trouble and the discussion was not going to post. so I went to my other browser and rewrote and posted the same discussion only to find finally after a half hour firefox had actually loaded the first one. so I pushed contact and told admins what had happened and asked if they should delete on of them, got no answer so there I am with two of the same discussion. I had the same thoughts as you described running through my head as I tried to word my apology discussion.

1 person likes this

@p1kef1sh (45681)

•

10 Dec 09

I never set out to offend anyone Hatley. I can become short with people at times who make idiotic comments to my discussions, but they can't help being twerps! LOL. I have been know to apologise to people and certainly am big enough to take it if I am told that what I said was out of order. You have made your apology and now it is up to the myLotter to be big enough to accept it.

3 people like this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

10 Dec 09

thanks pikey, she was really very upset with me, and I' just hope this can put an end to it. I have enough on my plate right now with my bad shoulder hurting due to the unusual cold here in supposedly sunny warm southern ca.It went down to freezing last night. Our buildings here are not built for 'cold weather either. but by taking ibuprofen and keeping warm I am hoping to stop most of the pain. cheers.

2 people like this

gitfiddleplayer

@gitfiddleplayer (10362)

• United States

10 Dec 09

Sure, its hard to admit we are wrong, even when things go way out of bounds just based on what we didn't mean to do. I hope the person you are apologizing to understand. The two least spoken words in the English language are I'm sorry.

3 people like this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

gitfiddleplayer oh yes its a sad commentary on us humans that we find it so hard to just say I'm sorry. and the saddest words penned by men, are it might have been. I do not remember who wrote that now but its a famous and true quote. Yes I hope the one I am apologizing to accepts and understands.

1 person likes this

@trisha27 (3494)

• United States

10 Dec 09

It has been hard for me to apologize when I have done wrong, but most of the time I do get around to apologizing although it takes me awhile to do so. Aw, I'm sure that the people that you are apologizing to will except your apology and may have already forgotten about it. I say to not worry about it, because you were only trying to help people out and if they see it any other way then that, then thats on them.

3 people like this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

hi trisha it just started rolling and getting out of control then I realized that while not meaning to, I had hurt a mylot friend and that was not my intention at all. so I did the right thing.

1 person likes this

@yan_blue8 (1437)

• Philippines

10 Dec 09

Hatley, We're only human and can make mistakes all the time. You actually will not know if you hurt someone until they react. But its still good that you are making apologies to it. yan

3 people like this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

10 Dec 09

yes yan blue8 we can make mistakes and I felt so much better after I apologized.

2 people like this

@danishcanadian (28953)

• Canada

11 Dec 09

I find that the more hostile the person I have accidentally offended, the harder it is to apologize to them. Likewise when someone wrongs me, I try to be reasonable with them, because an apology can solve quite a bit, but if I am going to come off like a |3!tch, then it's only making it harder on the other person.

2 people like this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

hi danishcanadian I too find that if the person I inadvertantly wronged is really hostile,its hard to make that apology but one must or feel horrid about the whole thing.

1 person likes this

@stephcjh (38473)

• United States

12 Dec 09

I usually do not have a hard time apologising to people if they will know it is sincere and not judge me for the wrong doing. I hate to apologies to the other people though because they are so judgemental and they have no sympathy or respect for the apology.

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

hi stephcjh yes that was the thoughts going through my mind, I want my friend to know i am sincere and not to judge me, and just hope this formal apology will be accepted as a sincere attempt on my part.

@neildc (17239)

• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines

11 Dec 09

personally, it is not hard for me to apologize. when i feel i had hurt somebody and thought that i have to talk with him, i will talk with him and apologize. though we know about it, reality hurts, but we have to face it.

2 people like this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

neildc well I did try the personal message thing but think the person I accidently hurt was pretty upset so felt that a public apology was more in order. I did feel a lot better after having made it.

1 person likes this

@bunnybon7 (50973)

• Holiday, Florida

14 Dec 09

i think you are like me and gladly apologise when you make a mistake and hurt someones feelings. i've done it often and dont mind when its obvious im wrong. actually i didnt see anything wrong in that discussion but thats just me i guess. it needed to be said. i did one time say (well a couple times)

somethings in discussions i shouldnt have phrased like i did. im not always good with HOW i say things. saying them the wrong way. there was one though that was really bad and phrased wrong. i tried to apologise and she excepted, but i still felt like a bad person for it.

i just didnt phrase something right.

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

16 Dec 09

hi bunnybon7 I think that some people offend too easily but 'still it was my discussion and I should have been more careful in how I worded it. so hopefully all upset is at an end.

@Opal26 (17679)

• United States

11 Dec 09

Hi Hatley! If I feel that I have made a mistake or unintentionally hurt someone then I do aplogized! I have made mistakes here on the Lot and had to go back and apologize to a few people and I had no problem admitting that I was wrong or made a mistake! I try not to hurt people because I don't like to be hurt either! But, I do speak my mind as I know that you do! And I also know that you would never purposely be out to hurt anyones feelings ever! You are one of the sweetest and most respected Mylotters there are in this whole place!

2 people like this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

hi opal thanks for the kind words. I did not want to hurt anyone intentionally but this all got out of hand, and I did, no mylotter should ever have her or his name bandied about. I felt a real apology was in order.

@ck3259 (248)

• Malaysia

11 Dec 09

It is hard for me to make an apology. Sometime I was unintentionally to hurt someone, I will fell very sad and moody and keep asking myself why doing such stupid things. I want to apology to the person that I hurt. However, I will face difficulties to make an apology. As you said, I also feel embarrassed but it must be done. I will feel uncomfortable and guilty if I do not apologize.

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

hi ck32359 yes that was me I started out trying to just help and wound up causing some things to happen that never should have so hurt a friend. now I feel better as I have done the right thing and made my apology.

@dorannmwin (36392)

• United States

15 Dec 09

I think that it is difficult at times to make an apology to someone when you've unintentionally done something that hurts them. I did notice that there were a lot of discussions about people starting a lot of discussions lately and I actually did respond to some of them but I also tread very carefully because I was really afraid that I would mention a name on there and I really didn't want to hurt another person. My only home is that the person to whom you are referring will be able to accept your apology.

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

16 Dec 09

hi dorannmwin yes its really hard because I did not set out to hurt anyone but a name got mentioned and that should never have happened. also I guess I am too zealous about how we make discussions. we are here after all to have fun and I dont want anyone to think I am a mylot police or something equally malicious as i am just another mylotter concerned about the quality of discussions.

@averagejill (20)

• United States

11 Dec 09

Yes, very much so. I find I am a stubborn person and I can let things go on for a long time without apologizing. That is why I strive to not step on peoples' toes (in a manner of speaking); unfortunately, that doesn't always work either. It's rather humorous because my pastor was just talking about forgiveness and it's so wonderful to find a person, on a website, openly apologizing. Apologizing is not, I'm afraid, in the human nature, it's embarrassing and brings us down to humility. But sometimes that's the best thing for us.

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

hi averagejill I am also stubborn and tried to pmessage my apology but it did not seem enough so I thought I will make a public apology ,now I feel as though a big burden has been lifted off my shoulders. also myleft shoulder has quit hurting.

@averagejill (20)

• United States

17 Dec 09

Ah, yes, virtual communication doesn't quite satisfy the human need for face-to-face interaction. But I'm so glad the public apology has freed up your conscious in that area ^__^

@drakesuyat (1063)

• Philippines

11 Dec 09

hi hatley! i find it hard to apologize sometimes not because of pride but afraid that my apology might not be accepted

coz we never really know how deep we hurt someone. although i would still apologize specially if its my fault. whether accepted or not, at least i've done my part of humility.

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

hi drakesuyat that was my trouble as I was so afraid that' after two miserable attempts at private messages I finally decided to make a public apology. now I do feel better both mentally and physically.

@vicky22101984 (573)

• India

11 Dec 09

At times, its feel really harder, really really. Your heart wud sink, and mouth will find its hard to speak. So ya I agree, to apologize , its a daunting task.

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

hi vicky22101984 Yes I felt so bad as I did not seem to know just how to heal things so felt maybe just put it out in the 'open and apologize as I never had intended to hurt anyone but found out that I really had. now I feel better emotionally and physically . my shoulder has suddenly quit hurting.

@ebuscat (5935)

• Philippines

11 Dec 09

For me it is hard if the person you said that is your enemy yes it's truly hard but for the person who close to your heart it is easy as you can do.

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

ebuscat hi no I surely hope this person is not my enemy, 'but my friend, and thats why I felt so bad, and to make a heartfelt apology out in the opon is the only way to help either of us.

• China

11 Dec 09

I think sometimes it is hard. Last time, we have a meeting about what should we talk to the VC about our website. In the meeting, I said our website was very easy to copy and easy to build, so I thought we should not talk too detial about it. One of my classmate was angry about what I said the website was easy to build, I suddently felt my falut, because he was responsible for the building, I had no thought of denying his effort. I want to apologize to him. However it's hard for me

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

hi garybao yes it was hard as I thought it was explained that' I had never started out to purposely hurt a friend but it happened and as it was my discussion I owed this person a public apology.

@rjvb26 (2518)

• Philippines

11 Dec 09

Wow! I salute you for that! You know what it is really hard for other people to apologize. Anyway, for me, i really never have a hard time apologizing to people especially when it is really my fault. I've been raised by my parents to be like this and Ive been raised by the environment where i grown up to be like this. I always put myself on the shoe of other people whom i have hurt and i ask myself, what will i feel if that person will not say it's sorry. Then there i am, a man who always put away his pride and bring honor to my family. Have a great day ahead!

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

rjvb I had to do this as I got carried away and the discussion got carried away, and suddenly I realized I had indeed hurt a mylot friend, which was never my intention at all. so i have' tried to really apologize. it is sort of hard too.

@neha_jain (93)

• India

11 Dec 09

I always keep one thing in mind regarding that apologizing not always mean that its our mistake,it signifies the importance of the relationship that we share with the person...

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

12 Dec 09

neha__jain you do make me feel much better in that I' wanted to keep the friendship of all mylot friends, and I caused a name to be mentioned that never should have as I never intended to do that at all. so my apology was needed.