If you were me,what should you do?
By kekexinfeng
@kekexinfeng (1295)
China
December 11, 2009 1:47am CST
I was very angry yesterday,but I thought I did a wrong thing.
This is the story:Our leader told Ms. Wang to do a job,and told me to do another,and I finished my job a little earlier.So Ms. Wang asked me to help her,then I promised to help her,so we finished the work.
That afternoon,we held a meeting about the result of that experiments.Then my group leader asked her to sign in the analytical report,.Guess what she says!She told our group leader to asked me to sign inthe paper!
I was very angry,I knew she didn't want to bear the responsibility,but it was her responsibility!I helped her,but she wanted to frame-up me!
Oh,my god!Do you have this experience?What do you do?
Should we never help others?
4 people like this
14 responses
@blestrella (176)
• Philippines
11 Dec 09
If you signed it, you will get the credit. Am I right? Of course, it is good to help others. Perhaps, Ms. Wang's intention was to have your contribution acknowledged. If she intented to throw the responsibility over the project on your shoulder, and if you are sure that you did the job right, that is to her loss because it is you who will earn the credit. Your leader could also decide who between the two of you should sign the report.
2 people like this
@kekexinfeng (1295)
• China
11 Dec 09
Oh,I am sorry,it is not the credit card,it is a chemical and metallurgical report,if I sign in the paper,when the product is not good,then I should bear the responsibility if our leader ask this problem.
1 person likes this
@blestrella (176)
• Philippines
11 Dec 09
What I mean by "credit" is the recognition that you can get. It would be a plus factor for you if the report turns out well.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
11 Dec 09
kekexinfeng,
Firstly, I do not think you could see what's coming and it is just natural for us to extend a helping hand to one another.
However, to be fair, I really see no point getting worked up and to be assuming that your colleague would want to frame you here on the following reasons:
1. In the first place, is the report so poorly done, that there is going to have many mistakes inside there until you are not confident enough to put down your signature?
Responsibility aside, if the report is done to your satisfaction and you have seen it through all the way to the print out, then I do not see any issue in signing for that report. I mean, look at it this way, instead of anticipating that the report is going to be with mistakes, why can't you look the other way and believe in yourself? Life is all about choices and you live with the consequences. So, why not choose to look at it in a more optimistic and positive mindset?
Besides if your group leader knows his job well, I am sure your will be accorded with the right recognition and credit.
2. Friendship
I am sure your Miss Wang is no ordinary colleague where you would extend your hand without any second consideration. So, if I am Ms Wang, I would look at the situation in a fair manner, say that this report being a heck of a report to do, and without your help this report would not have been completed, if it was left to her alone.
So, being a friend, if I am Ms Wang again, I will let my group leader know that it was much of your effort that this report could be submitted and that since you deserve the credit, I would like you to sign instead of me. So, I think she is just trying to be fair to you. She just feel that she does not deserve full credit for this report.
And if you are cordial enough, you can always or should suggest that the both of you should sign for the report, since she has had a hand in it with you.
I feel that sometimes we should always try to read between the lines, be more objective, levelheaded and most of all see things further ahead. Making it look insoluble (zou niu jiao jian) is just causing yourself more misery and worse more misunderstanding between the both of you.
So, there you have it, this is how I would approach and look at this episode as a whole. Hope you will try to see things in a different light and be happy always.
Compliments of the season!
@kekexinfeng (1295)
• China
16 Dec 09
I agree with you,however,I don't think Ms. Wang is kind to let me sign the paper,because it is work,not a simple experiment report.I should sharing the responsibility with her if I sign the paper,but it is not the responsibility but the attitude that make me angry,He told me with a scornful look and as if she is my leader,I don't like this feeling.and I help her,but she don't think it is important!
@kekexinfeng (1295)
• China
11 Dec 09
I think as a colleague,We inevitably have to work together,I do not want revenge for her,I don't think it is good thing to do this,however we Chinese have a saying:A fall into the pit, a gain in your wit.I should rememer this thing,and don't close with her,if she asked to help her next time,I will think about the thing,if it should bear responsibility,I will refuse!
Though I don't think it is a good way to solve this matter,but I don't know the better way.
1 person likes this
@iwrite (5034)
• Singapore
11 Dec 09
At least you know now that who you cannot trust in a situation like that. You better set the record straight, even if she did not do the work she would be responsible as that was her duty. I think your leader should step in too. If anything your leader should have know whose responsibility it was.
1 person likes this
@harshalapugol (44)
• India
11 Dec 09
HELPIN IS A GOOD NATURE OF of a person but helping the right person is also important, why will you change a good nature of yours for others just modifi it a bit and help the right person from next time.
ALL THE BEST...
2 people like this
@kekexinfeng (1295)
• China
11 Dec 09
Help the good person to do the good thing!how hard to do this!Because we often don't know who is the bad person,and when is the bad time.
1 person likes this
@harshalapugol (44)
• India
11 Dec 09
hey it is all trail and error method dear help and see if the person is good then person will appresicate right its all about luck to find the right person Right
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
12 Dec 09
Hi kekexinfeng!
Are you sure she wanted to frame you up? I do not think so, you are working right? And that is a working place, then who is much superior than you? Anyway, do you think she is really framing you up? Or, She just wanted to give you a great responsibility cause she know you can do it. She knows that you are the only one capable of doing things and she trust you more than anyone else in that meeting. Now, what do you think is much closer? Maybe you are just angry that time cause you are very tired. But think of it this way. She will not give you such responsibilities if she don't trust you. Do you think you will even be there if they do not trust your skills and capability of doing things? I am not against anyone here, but i think you just need to think deep. Besides being a selfless individual makes you a great person. Who will take the credits if you accept and do the job? You only right? You will be recognized and will be seen as a very responsible individual. Besides you are part of the group, and you need to do things for the group and not for yourself. Don't you trust your skills?
Anyway, job or studies, it doesn't matter, what important is that you show your being a responsible member of the group and at the same time a responsible individual. Prove them that you trust your skills and you are capable of doing things perfectly. Prove that you are worthy being part of the group. Anyway, who will be the one to take the credits?
That is all i can share to this problem and have a great day.
2 people like this
@kekexinfeng (1295)
• China
16 Dec 09
I would think of this if her attitude is good and I think she is a kind person,but it is pity!She is a person who likes to gossip and like to squeal on someone!
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
11 Dec 09
Can you just refuse to sign? I mean it was her assignment, you did your own assignment and I’m sure you had to sign your own papers. And then why should you sign without knowing everything! When you were doing your own work, she was doing her work about which you know nothing…you only helped her at the end after finishing your own work…I don’t thnk you should sign.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
11 Dec 09
Hi keke!
It appears that your friend was too smart. She took your help and later on thought why not get your signatures too so that if there comes any flaw, she should not be held responsible alone. I agree with you that this is not fair on her part and this time you may sign the papers, however, next time, you can flatly refuse her for any kind of help. Had I been in your place, I would not helped her the next time.
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
11 Dec 09
Hey kekexinfeng, what a rude friend. However, there are always people trying to ride on some one elses horse. I am sorry, but that is the reality. So should we help, well I guess we should be careful with whom we help.I think the help should be given to those who apriciate it. Hope you did not got in trouble for it.
1 person likes this
@kekexinfeng (1295)
• China
16 Dec 09
I do agree with you!Help the right person on the right time is important!
@I_LUV_U (2519)
• India
11 Dec 09
Why didn't you intercede her and say she is mistaken and it was not you that the group leader asked to take up that job but her; the group leader would have testified to it if she was present or else they could check it up with her later on. There is no point in being nice to a double-crosser. I don't have this kind of experience because I'm my lone and own employer/employee, but I would have likely done the above mentioned.
@kekexinfeng (1295)
• China
15 Dec 09
I hope to do so,but at that time I was so angry that I do the wrong thing,though I regretted,but it is too late.
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
11 Dec 09
hmm this reminds me a bad memory. me and another girl were a team for a laboratory and we had a week to write the report. She said that she can handle it and that i will do the next one. SO I told her that if she needed help, she doesn't have to hesitate. Then she comes through msn at midnight and tells me to finish the lab report because she argued with her boyfriend. i was a little frustrated because it was due for the next morning and she had to do this in the last minute. When she sent me the report she did, it was blank except for the cover page. I did everything till 4 am. i sent it to her as email so she would print it and give it to the teacher if i come late. So in the morning, i did come late but she handed the report. When the class was over, a friend asked me why i looked so tired and I told her what hapenned. Then she told me that my lab partner took credit for herself and told the teacher i was not reliable. i spoke to the teacher an suggested me to change partner. If your case was at work, it would be even worse. Don't help her again!!
1 person likes this
@kekexinfeng (1295)
• China
14 Dec 09
I am sorry to hear this story,I think you are a simplicity girl,though we all think life is good and people are all have their good side,however,we should alert theri bad side,it is a pity!Thank you for sharing your story with us!
Good luck!
@redthaidevil (1047)
• Thailand
11 Dec 09
frame-up me Correction frame me up. I understand that she deceived you. Just play it cool. It does sound bad but if you look at it in a positive way, you studying to get knowledge not to get the teachers or friends approval. Doing more work can only get you more knowledge and experience and I think that is the best thing. Forget your stupid friend, she'll get what she deserved. Bad deeds = bad results. Good deeds = good results.
1 person likes this
@kekexinfeng (1295)
• China
14 Dec 09
You are cool,though I know you are right,however sometimes I can't performance aloof.Thank you very much correct my spelling,I am very happy to learn the right spelling.
1 person likes this
@werdan88 (272)
• Philippines
11 Dec 09
When one person deceives you, it doesn't mean everyone are deceivers.It just happens that there are such people with very bad personalities. Just keep helping others. It is a good in itself. :) DOn't let them affect you. Just do what is right! God bless!
1 person likes this
@kekexinfeng (1295)
• China
14 Dec 09
Yes,I think everyone have his good site and his bad site,we should help the one with more good site.
@fairytale (6)
• China
11 Dec 09
LOL!I don't know the advantages and disadvantages after you sign in the analytical report.In my experiece,there are some new colleagues who like that. if she pass the buck to you as a result of she is a new colleague, you should forgive. Or you can talk to her tactfully.Of course,help is a virtue.We should do that.
1 person likes this