Other Fathers A Poem I Wrote Feedback Please
@CallieWVU2 (520)
United States
December 11, 2009 4:52pm CST
Other Fathers
Other fathers laughed
and threw baseballs-
footballs. Stood in
the stands and cheered for
touchdowns and tackles.
While my father sank into
the creek, the blue car up-
ended.
Other fathers sat with their
Sons, while my father laid
Down in the closed casket.
Cousins, Uncles, Nieces,
Nephews, cried-
For his loss, but they didn't
Cry for me.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@SeventyTwo (273)
• United States
11 Dec 09
descriptive and sad right to the point of the poem. is it true? If so i'm so sorry, you have found a way to over come this, if not true it is imaginative and a way to show others to deal with something so tragic.
@CallieWVU2 (520)
• United States
11 Dec 09
Thank you for your comment, it wasn't about me but my father's dad, he drowned when his car went into a creek bed when my dad was 9.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
12 Dec 09
Wow, that's too sad but at the same time i can't stop congratulating you because you had the power of captivating the feeling in those emotional words. For people that have passed for something like that (i am one of them) this poem really touch their emotions. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day.
-Alvaro.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
12 Dec 09
Hi Callie: that was a very deep emotional poem, you are great doing this without a doubt. I write poems too. Hope i can continue reading more poems from you if you want to share with us more of them. Thanks for sharing this poem with us. It's really sad but at the same time it's beautiful to read those words. Hope everything is ok right now in your family. Have a nice day.
-Alvaro.
