Have you experienced being fooled by a person that is now very close to you?????
By rjvb26
@rjvb26 (2518)
Philippines
December 13, 2009 8:57pm CST
Hi there friends, last month one of my not so close friend asked me to guide and help her on thesis writing. At first payments is not really on my mind, even if it is one of my business.
She told me too teach her how to make her research proposal look better, and then, she offered me that she will pay me after the work. I helped her, and then she came back and told me that, if i can do the research????!? imagine that, she now asked me to do the research, she told me she doesn't have enough time, although it is not proper cause i know she will not learn, i do it. And then after doing so, she get the research proposal, i know that the research is really ready and things will do fine now, i already tested it, and do a "practice research for it" and the results are great. Then she came back and told me there are so many errors, and wrong formats and so may things that is not good for me to hear. And then, i am really shocked cause i know research and thesis writing very well even if i am sleeping. I even do the requests of her panels and advisers, that is why i am sure it is really great. Then you know what happen? I edited it, and make it much more complicated and much more good research, anyway in research there is no such thing as right or wrong cause that is a research and we need to prove something whether it is negative of positive. After that she came back again and here again, so many problems, i don't know if the problems are on me, to the teachers and panels or with her! Then she tell me so many things that made me really upset and she did not even give my professional fee that she promised!Remember she promised! That is why i am expecting to receive money. Never in my life, the researchers i have helped failed, sometimes the research even get awards. I do not know really, am i wrong? Am i not good anymore at that field? I am really pissed off! What can you say about this? O well i am just being emotional right now, just want to express this so that this feeling will go away, but now really i feel i am not anymore good at doing this business and not sure if i will still be able to help others in the future because of this incident! Wew! What is your catch onto this?!
4 people like this
11 responses
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
14 Dec 09
Isn't it considered cheating for this friend to try to hire somebody to do here academic work for her? Here in the US it certainly is. So if you help somebody cheat, you can only expect to get cheated. But maybe it is different where you live.
1 person likes this
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
14 Dec 09
It is really cheating but then i feel sad when she told me she really can't make it. Actually, she go to me for a consultancy, but when she asked me to do it cause she really do not have time and she is have duties at the hospital, then i told her that i will do it, with no second thought. She is a POST GRADUATE student, and i felt sorry for her, having that level of education still she didn't know how to create a thesis. O well...
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
14 Dec 09
I understand how you must be feeling. I would think twice about helping others too, but if the person can really show sincerity in needing help genuinely and not making use of me, I'll help. But if it's just making use of someone for other purposes and especially in not paying, I'll be very angry and will not trust that person anymore. It will be very hard and she or he will have to try hard to convince me again.
1 person likes this
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
14 Dec 09
You are right and i will surely not help her anymore. maybe i will tell her to look for a new consultant, cause i have so many meetings to attend to even if there is no real meeting. Finding people like that really pisses me off, imagine she is already in the Post Graduate studies, and then she doesn't even know how to do the introduction of a research paper properly? O well, i guess this is the reality, thank you for the response, have a great day.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
14 Dec 09
Your story reminds me of the harsh criticism I received once from an editor about a piece I wrote. I was still studying and my tutor was impressed with my work and encouraged me to send it off for publication. I do not have a problem with constructive criticism but they way this was delivered really upset me. She pointed out errors and things she did not like and followed through with condescending remarks which to a novice can be really off putting!
Fortunately my tutor restored my confidence and had it not been for him, I probably would not have written anything ever again!
Don’t let this incident discourage you; you had faith in your abilities before this client came along and I bet if you show another person the work he or she will be more than impressed.
1 person likes this
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
14 Dec 09
I guess you are really right about that, it's just that, my client really annoys me, knowing that fact that it is my business, at first i really want to give her a free consultation, and then, she is the one who offered to pay me. Then now look what she did! I know all of her professors but of course i will not go to that point talking to her professors that i am the one who do the thesis not her, she only ask for advice and then later she told me to do it and then this is what she will give me? A headache?
I think the professors like the work, cause just like what i have said, if we talk about research and thesis, there is no such things as wrong work. I guess she is just reasoning so that she will not pay me. Damn, i really expected the money and she disappoints me. Anyway, i will not give up just like what you have said, but i am really mad at her. Maybe the next time a client will approach me, i will just tell her to talk to the secretary before he/she proceeds at my office. She is a parasite, i do not want to be mean but it is true, she is a hell of a parasite. She will not study well then she will seek for help then she will not even.... damn! Anyway thank you so much for this. Have a great day!
I think the professors like the work, cause just like what i have said, if we talk about research and thesis, there is no such things as wrong work. I guess she is just reasoning so that she will not pay me. Damn, i really expected the money and she disappoints me. Anyway, i will not give up just like what you have said, but i am really mad at her. Maybe the next time a client will approach me, i will just tell her to talk to the secretary before he/she proceeds at my office. She is a parasite, i do not want to be mean but it is true, she is a hell of a parasite. She will not study well then she will seek for help then she will not even.... damn! Anyway thank you so much for this. Have a great day!@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
14 Dec 09
I appreciate your anger rjvb26, I really do, it's people like that who ruin people's days with their dishonesty and lack of consideration. It does sound as though she is just looking for a reason not to pay...
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
14 Dec 09
hello friend,
This is really upsetting,she can tell you honestly if she don't have money to pay you,and not by making any alibi's.
You know very well that what you have done and what you were doing is right,to say that it is your field(research works).
Sometimes people are just too irritating.
While reading your story,i remember one incident almost same like this.
One referred person(referred by a friend)called me and told me that,my internet friend give my number to her,and that she needs some legal assistance.
Without second thought,i gave the person the help that she needed,i introduced her to our lawyers and after hours of having conversation regarding her problems,she was advised to come back for some follow up.
But she never showed up on the day of her appointment.
Then,after a week,i received a call from her,asking me the same favor.
So,i told her she can go anytime she wants,it was then i had learn that she did not showed up on her appointed time with the lawyer.(and this is a shame on my part)
I almost wanted to say "no"...but still the humanity gives me the order to give this person a second chance.
I again accompanied her to our law office...and this time,i make sure to her not to do what she has done before.
Dealing with lawyers( time is very important)so..she must give some consideration...considering that,it is given free and she's also consuming my time.(i'm not complaining,i am happy and willing to help people who are considerate and cooperative...but with people like her....i guess,i can loose some patience ugh
)
)1 person likes this
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
14 Dec 09
That is really a bit closer to my story, and you are right, i really loose my patience on this one, i rarely get mad at people, but this time i really am, imagine i canceled some of my appointment just for that paper, and then in the end, i am still the looser. I guess, i need to be strict with my rules now, and when there is someone who wants to consult, i will ask my secretary to talk to them first so that things will become much clearer.
@lindiebiz (1006)
• Canada
14 Dec 09
I think the girl does not want to pay you your fee. If you are as good a you say you are and you did it rightly then I don't see why she would complain when she does not know how to do it. She was just looking for someone to do her research for her for free. I am sure she would use yours.
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
14 Dec 09
Almost all the people who consulted me gained a best thesis achievement, and that proves that i am a good research consultant. But why did she tell me that she will pay me after it? She know, it is one of my business and still she did not pay me, actually at first i wasn't really expecting for payment, but when she told me she will pay me, i did all my best, i even canceled some of my appointment just for that paper. 
@vandana7 (100255)
• India
14 Dec 09
Hi rjvb, I have been fooled several times. :) Must be pretty low in IQ, eh! But then, I keep hoping somewhere out there is a friend who will stand by me till the very end. So I keep taking those risks, and at the end of each such mistake, I tell myself, ah! at least I came to know the worth of this friend before it was too late. :) Think how costly it could have gotten. :)
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
14 Dec 09
I'd have cut off all communication with her long ago! She's a user, & frankly, you should immediately go to the people for whom you--not she!--are doing all her work & tell them! I'm sure they would toss her out on her ear; no-one likes such slackers, & she doesn't know what she's doing! So if she's not stopped now, she'll victimize who knows how many others! 
Maggiepie
"WHERE'S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?"
Maggiepie
"WHERE'S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?"
@xannebull (1793)
• Philippines
15 Dec 09
I have been fooled a lot of times by my friends, including my closest ones before. Inspite of these i just blindfolded my mind of not hating them since hatred is a sin, I just forgave them and it's a lesson for me of not giving my trust to them fully. I can just count my friends whom i can have trust with.
@soledadclickz (1106)
• Philippines
15 Dec 09
Aww, this reminds me of a similar experience almost seven years ago. The sister of a friend approached me to help her group come up with a feasibility study. I willingly helped because she was a relative of my friend. Her group asked how much should they pay me. I said there's no need for payment as I don't really do it for a living.
A few months later, I happen to meet one of her group mates. That member hugged me and said their group was really thankful to me because their feasibility won first place in the university. I was happy and I said "wow, that's really great news!" Haha, the girl was surprised to realize that I know nothing about their team's winning. She asked me if I received the Php5,000 their group has contributed for me. I said no, besides I wasn't really expecting them to pay me. But she told me that they gave the money to the sister of my friend.
I didn't know what to feel that time. I wasn't sad about the money that I did not receive. But I didn't really expect that someone could fool me like that. Until now, my friend is not aware that her sister did something bad to me.
@bhav27 (442)
• India
14 Dec 09
this is nothing new dude , there is nothing wrong in you the fact is that she wanted to make her research even better and she was clever enough to choose you as she made emotional relation with you and found some of yours weak point in short i will say that was mean and just wanted to make her work done from someone who can easily complete her task without any investment , it happened with me also , i worked with a guy and he promised to pay me every month for helping him in businees , i almost had no sleep for 2 month as i was so into his work , after completion of one month he said it's just beginning so your payment will be given next month and when at 2 month he said the same i learnt that he is just using me to complete his work so i quit and prommised maself that will never do work for anyone without agreement for advance payment.
