Is it ok for a husband or wife to have friends of the opposite gender?

chaoticbeauty No it is way over the line and I suppose you will next say its okay to hug her and kiss her as its just brotherly love, right. and somebody sell me the brooklyn bridge.Why do you think your wife is upset? Maybe she feels that your interest in your sisterly friend is very close to the border of romantic love between two good friends. I married my best friend, and we had friends together but not secret friends hidden from each other. I would not like the kind of love you are talking about either as I really think you are fooling yourself.Like is one thing, thats fine no wife is going to be upset with like, but love,oh no I feel for your wife really sorry, but I really do . I am sure you mean well but brotherly love so often becomes romantic love like it did with my husband and myself.

Friendship between the opposite sexes does not stay brotherly or sisterly for long. Platonic friendship is non existent according to me. It is bound to cross the limits specially when the two are alone somewhere. Can a man keep his hands off? I doubt it!!!

i think it is ok but within reason. you have to make sure she knows that she is the only one for you but it really about trust and whether she trusts you or not.

I would say it is okay to a point. My husband and I both have a few friends of the opposite gender, however we have rules. Neither of us spends time alone with these friends, if one of his guy friends comes to the house (and they rarely do) and my hubby is not home, they leave... end of story. No lunches, dinners or drinks with friends of the opposite gender. We are both in agreement on this however which is probably why it works so well. To top it off my spouse is my best friend, there is no one I trust more or who I want to share things with.

I can relate to this in some way. I have been married to my wife for four years and we have been together for nine years with three children. she also can get jealous, its just a women thing. the both of you need to just talk to each other about it and need to respect each other. if she don't trust you and you care to be faithful then you should tell her how you feel. and don't be afraid to speak your mind and if you don't like something then maybe you need to reconsider your relationship.

you should really put yourself into her shoes and look at the situation from her point of view. YOU know that you aren't doing anything wrong, but you need to make sure your wife is also aware of that & You need to put everything out in the open. You need to acquaint your wife with these female friends of yours.

i don't see why we can't have friends of both genders and still be good/close friends with them. my partner gets jealous of me, doing anything. the new thing is, a friend of our has just broken up with his wife, she had an affair. the bloke she did it with is in face book, so my partner is ranting and raving about it. about me having anything to with any sites, even mylot. it's driving me insane at the moment, i even get accused of having an affair if i get home from work late. even by a short time, cause something went wrong. but i can see where your coming from on your last point, but no one would better to know about it.

I think it is fine to have friends from opposite gender. Both me and my husband have friends belonging to opposite gender and they are close to both of us. I think it is fine to have friends in opposite gender. You can ingore your friends only because of the reason that you got committed or married to a guy. But, make sure that you never cross the limits. You should know where to say NO and where to keep a distance. You should know how to handle the friendship without hurting your partner.

Hi Chaotic, I could not even imagine being in a relationship where such a difference existed as if someone is so jealous it is a sign of low self esteem and control. My friends are my friends and a lot are male and no one tells me who I can and cannot be friends with. I also have no issue whatsover with my Greek having his own friends of whatever gender. And yes of course you can tell your friends that you are close with that you love them, just not in love with them.

I see nothing wrong wih hubands or wives having friends of the opposite gender. Just because men have female friends and women have male friends should make no difference in the marital relationship, If there isd love and trust between you, the gender of your friends will make no difference.

Yes it is ok. Getting married doesn't mean the end of every social affairs as long as you know your stand and limitations. We have friends before the marriage, we can not just dump them aside for a fear of misunderstanding between our partner in life they are once part of our fun. We also need to be acquinted with new friends because of so many reasons like for professional growth, business connections,or we are just too kind and friendly by nature and many valid facts to consider. Being too possesive is a sign of insecurity and lack of self confidence. Giving space sometimes will cultivate a relationship longer and firmer.

it is okey for me if a husband or wife will have friends of the opposite gender. for as long as no deeper relationship.. and just plainly friendship only. i have a lot of male friends and my hubby knows it. regarding your relationship to your female friend, i better suggest that don't go deeper to that relationship,for i know you are already married. and as you have said your wife is a jealous one? it might cause war between you and your wife if she will discover that you are having a mutual affair with somebody? just think about it.

hi chaotic, its okay to be friends with opposite gender eventhough your married already. As long as no strings attached,its okay. But when you ask that if its okay to say I love you to your friend knowing that your married,ofcourse its out of the line. Common sense, your married,you dont have the right to I love you others in exceptional, if its your family and relatives and ofcourse with your partner.Be considerate, what would you think would be the feelings of your partner if she knew that you I love you someone who is not related to you. You have to know your limitations okay. Dont be so insensitive when it comes to your partner, though that i love you thing is nothing, it will always affect your relationship to your wife.

As far as the whole male to female when both are married and at least occasionally get together as a group then everything is fine. However for any married guy to tell any female other than his mother, daughter, aunt, grandmother, wife, I love you is to far over the line. It is these I've known you forever and your like a sibling to me relationships that can be hardest on a spouse. Especially if the spouse doesn't share the same relationship with the third person. when people are that close they tend to share a sort of unspoken bond and communication that can keep someone feeling left out. You should never try to make a spouse feel left out and though not on purpose you may be doing just that. As far as the whole deleting your facebook account for you that is way outta bounds. if she had a problem with your account she should have spoken with you in a calm adult manner about why it bothered her, and you should have listened to her. Now that said i believe that there were discussions before the deletion of the account. I strongly doubt that she woke up one morning and decided to delete it. You made comment to the fact that she has been jealous of the time you spend with or talking to other female friends. one remedy may be to begin inviting her along let her get to know your friends and give her a chance to get to know them as her friends too. By the way this should have been done in the time you spent dating and not only after you got married.

I don't see a problem with it, but I suppose I should say I trust my husband just not other women, lol. I don't know if the same could be said about him, that is, he trusts me just not other men, lol. To be truthful my husband and I have two friends we share. Both are male, one is like a brother to him and is related to me... lol. The other is just a friend.

I think a wife or a husband can have friends from the opposite gender as long as the couples can understand each other and do not have a very bad jealousy problem. The relationship should also stick to just friend and not more than that.

In my humble opinion, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your having female friends despite the fact that you are married. You share a history with those ladies that you will never have with your wife. I do, however, feel that if you want to continue your friendship with them, you should make sure that your wife has the opportunity to get to know these ladies. I've been married for five years now and I've been exclusively with my husband for the last eight years. I do still have male friends that I've been friends with since long before the two of us met. However, we have made efforts to make the friendships into mutual friendships and that has worked out very well for us. In fact, one of my male friends was actually a groomsman in our wedding. I don't think it was right of your wife to delete your facebook account. I think that was stepping way over the line.

I think your wive does not have the right to delete your account without telling you first. May be the reason she's so jealous is not because you have so much friends but because of the amount of time and attention you give to your facebook, rather than to her ? I have many married men as my good friends, and I always try to befriend their wives. In most cases it works, but there are one or two cases that I have to give up the entire friendship because the wives are too jealous. I stay away from them because I do want them to be happy and not the one causing frictions. And your second question...NO, if your wive is not understanding enough with them being friends, don't create more jealousy by using double meaning sentences. Your friend will understand that you love her in a sisterly way by your consideration and attention to her, without you having to say "I love you."

hey chaotic beauty.. its alright.. i know what you mean.. sometimes women can be like that.. way over the line and over reacting.. but then its our job as men to be understanding of them as well eventhough they cant understand us.. i think you just have to explain to her that theres nothing to be jealous about.. cant she see that you married her for a reason and that is because you love her.. right?? so if she gets jealous of your friend, tell her that i wouldnt have married you if i loved my friend.. i hope you can work it out.. and if you have a new facebook account i could be part of your social network..