Have you/would you deny your kids gifts?

well put Purpleblaster! And if they are still young enough that they believe in Santa then obviously we are not talking about teens. You really gotta wonder whether it is the parent's or the kids here that needs the help. I'm not real sure I'd jump at the thought that it is just the kids that need the help here.

Wow that's pretty deep purplealablaster. I don't think kids that still believe in Santa Claus and care if they get presents from him could be naughty enough to need therapy. I'm talking about small kids that are only naughty in a way that they were still kind of bad but not bad enough to need therapy. Would you give your children presents if they were like that? That is my question.

In our house, Santa Claus is more about the spirit of giving than an actual person, although when the children are young this spirit of giving is represented by the person known as "Santa Claus". When my kids act inappropriately, they have to face the consequences of their actions immediately, and when they do something extra special they are rewarded immediately. I know that some people do the whole "naughty or nice" thing in reference to Santa Claus, but we have never done that. Since Santa Claus is about giving, it does not matter whether or not you have been naughty or nice. It makes us feel good to do nice things for others, and that is what we focus on during this time of year. Therefore, we have never threatened coal or no gifts or anything like that, and we would never do anything like that. Everybody has their own traditions and ways of dealing with things, though, and it is interesting to hear how everybody celebrates their own traditions. I like reading about unusual facts and trivia, and I don't remember where I read it, but at one time in part of the world coal was actually a valuable resource, so getting coal in your stocking would be considered "good" instead of "bad". I don't think that is still the case, but it would be interesting to hear from other cultures to see whether or not there are still parts of the world that would view getting coal as "good" rather than "bad".

Lovelyn_medrano, you make a great point about teaching the children lessons about their naughtiness right after they have committed the naughty act, because that is when they will really learn the lesson, especially when they are young. It is about cause and effect. If you are naughty, then there are consequences for your actions, which are usually negative consequences. If you are good, then there are consequences for those actions, too, usually known as rewards. The consequences for the actions have to come as soon after the action as possible, though. That is the only way that young children will associate their actions with the consequences, because they do not have the understanding and mental capacity to associate their actions in the past to a consequences in the present or future.

That is precisely what I mean purplealabaster. Kids might not even understand it or would have effect on them negatively, like its one way of teaching your child too not to be forgiving in some ways... for that is her past offense and days has passed you will still brought it back on the special day for not giving her gift as penalty... (Their young minds might misinterpret your way of teaching).

I agree as a mother, I cannot stand to see my child sad during this special day. I might say that to him but definitely not going to do it really. I can punished him in some ways.

Hi Purple, Oh yes...the gifts that someone took the time to make are the ones that we keep,treasure and remember long after the holiday. I love making things too ...it is a part of what makes Christmas so fun!Oh and I re-read your comment. I see where you are coming from with the therapy and all. Anyway, it was a good response with some good points.

Excellent points, sid556! Christmas is about love, giving and spending time with family and friends not about how many presents you get. A poem from my daughter, which cost no money but was made from her creativity and love, meant more to me and was worth far more than any store-bought gift. If you use the thought of Santa to reward or punish children, then you are definitely sending the wrong message, in my opinion. By the way, thank you for your response to my comment. I was not intending to imply, though, that the children were the only ones that needed counseling or help, especially if they were that young and acting out. Some amount of acting out is normal and natural for children of any age, because they test their boundaries, explore the world and want to establish some type of independence and personal identity. When it gets to the point that is described in this scenario, however, I think that is far beyond the normal range, and it would suggest that there are other issues that need to be addressed not just with the children but with the whole family. I meant that the counseling or therapy should be a family affair, so that everybody could not only get help with their own issues but also learn to work together and interact as a family unit.

Yes I agree with you 100%. Eventually you have to tell your kids that Santa doesn't exist (I hope a kid isn't reading this discussion with his/her mom or dad right now:)) I don't think anyone would be silly enough to think that Santa could discipline their kids for the entire year or their entire lives.

I don't see what you mean by the kids that are naughty are always active. Is that a good thing? Would you encourage your child to be naughty just so they could be more active? I think nice kids that are not always naughty can be active too, and I don't think that I would ever deny kids Christmas gifts either.

That's very interesting AmbiePam. That's also a good way to clean up their rooms.lol. Yes I think it's a good thing to show kids that take things for granted or just don't realize how blessed they are. Very good life lesson to learn.

That is very creative with the Santa and your gift! Maybe I'll use that if I have kids.lol

lol yes I agree with you. If I had kids then I probably wouldn't ever give them not any Christmas gifts. I think that would be very mean. When people ask them at school what they got for Christmas I wouldn't want them to have to say nothing. lol and about the coal thing,maybe I'd buy those chocolates in a little red bag that looks like coal.

Yes they sure do grow up fast. Oh if I had kids then I don't think I would ever want to see them sad, especially on Christmas one of the happiest days of the year. I think I would have to give them at least 2 or 3 gifts even if they were a little naughty. Kids get me with those puppy dog eyes every time.