When things seem to be getting better they get worse. . .

Well, I got into the DMP myself and finished just about when we had our first child. It was for me, not for me and my husband. I guess I used my credit cards way too much in my 20's . . . but I see it as living it up - ha ha - and paying for it later. It was getting out of hand. Going on the DMP was the best thing I ever did . . . the good thing was I made the deadline of signing up for a specific set of classes . . . if I took them, my monthy fees would be waved. So I was in the DMP for free. I learned a lot about budgeting . . . and living deligently on this fixed budget got me out of my mess. I've been "sober" from the plastic ever since. My husband and I never have big fights . . . but we do have our disagreements. It's more about heavy discussions about how we're going to handle things and our stresses rather than opposing views clashing. Money is a big deal here right now - I admit things are rather tight for us too - not entirely comfortable. We had agreed that I would be a stay at home mom until both kids are in school full time (which means another 5 years for me) and felt that was what was best for the kids and our financial situation. There's no way we could afford daycare or even preschool - my parents both work during the week - and we just don't trust my husband's parents to watch over our kids. I know it's tough on my husband to be the sole breadwinner, but he knows financially this is our best bet. We are in an apartment, but having a house is not possible right now (we're in expensive CA). He still has a student loan to pay off. And then there's the regular bills. With kids, there are always those extra expenses that can throw off a budget. It's tough, but we try to make it work. I don't work, so I try to do what I can at home to cut costs: use coupons and be a mad saver when shopping for anything, get stuff from Freecycle or Craigslist if we need something that we don't exactly want to pay for, go online to find free family activities, etc. Anyway, I hope you guys will work it out somehow ... hopefully things will get better for everyone in the new year!!

The three main causes for marital fights are S*X, MONEY AND In Laws. You can work it out and compromise. Perhaps you could get a part time job? Filling supermarket shelves for a couple of hours at night? You can work it out. Calmly. No fighting allowed. congratulations for getting on the path to be without cc debt. Credit card debt is my main focus this coming year. I have to get rid of it for once and for all. Compromkise is part of marriage

dorannmwin, there is a financial advisor named Dave Ramsey, that has his own radio show, has written books, and has some really good advice about getting yourself out of debt, and being financially stable, that I wish I had heard about him 30yrs ago! He has some really good advice for people, and if they would listen to him, a lot of people would be a lot happier and out of debt! Give a listen to him if you can, his website is daveramsey.com ! I listen to him giving advice to a lot of people that are really in debt, and he makes a lot of sense, 'common sense' !

Two big issues with him: 1) was when he made a large stock purchase without telling me because he knew I'd object 2) is now, he keeps going to the darn casino and spending too much money and then griping at me at how much my medical and counseling bills cose #1 is something I'm pretty sure he will never do again. With #2, he thinks we can solve some problems on our own without help. And I don't believe we can. And as far as the stupid casino, he has fun there. It bores me to tears. Big discussion coming up...

Aww, sure have Dorann. It's one of the main things couples argue about...finances. I have come a long way with finances, but with a divorce, and then losing health insurance, it's been awful trying to pay for meds. I had no choice but to simply quit taking some of them, but I was blessed to have a great doctor and pharmacy working with me to get the lowest rx's possible, and some companies that send them free to those who are disabled and on a low/fixed income. You write really well. Have you considered writing articles to earn extra? Once established, you can do quite well. Plus, do you claim small business expenses on your home since you provide care for your neices? Just some thoughts. Karen

Hi dorann I know where you are coming from. My husband got laid off this past March. He was off for 6 months. He finally got called back to work. He had to take a pay cut to keep this job. I cant work. I have a nerve problem that prevents me from working in the public. That is how I ended up here. I don't make alot of money at all but it eases my mind to some degree. We do have fusses over money issues sometimes. He doesn't understand what all the bills are and such. He just lets me handle everything. The best thing that I think you can do is try and understand how he feels. Another thing is that if you did work could you make enough to cover the sitter cost and still have money to help with the household cost. I wish you the best and hope that things will start to look up for you. Have a great day and keep smiling.

Me and my wife sometimes argue about money issues. When we were engaged we never thought fighting or even arguing over money, but now we're experiencing it. What we do is we try our best not to say things that we will regret in the future. We also steer clear of harsh words that can leave an emotional scar. Like you guys, we try our best to budget our money and work hard so we can be at least comfortable in life.

we have almost always had financial issues but never had really any arguments over money. we always try to save money and tend to be very frugal with money. can you get assistance of any sort? there are ways to make money at home. i sold avon while staying home with my kids, plus i have done crafting and sold it plus i have done some freelance writing.

It is rare I think to find a couple that haven't have had a big fight. Sometimes the reasons are good, other times they are not good. As for financial issues, I am in the middle of them, working two jobs, because my wife stays at home, and does what ever people do when they are at home, I don't think it is "home-keeping" though. Sometimes I wonder if what she does is just lay on the couch all day. But, we do have a little one, and we would both prefer not to put him in daycare, so she decided to start one of those, so things are getting better now. Cheers.

This is something a lot of us are facing. You have taken a very bold decision and doing a good job from what I gather.It is really a tough world out there and it has really become a very difficult job to make ends meet,especially when one person is working.It is indeed a question of cutting corners to get the bare essentials and keep one self debt free.You guys are on the right track though,keep it up.

My husband and I have been arguing quite a bit over money. He is working part-time now (his hours dropped from full-time to part-time). His boss claims there is no money in the budget to give him more hours (which I do not believe for a minute because his boss hired two new people and both are full-time). I have not been able to find a job since I graduated college this past summer. I have a degree in Elementary Education, but because of the bad economy I can not find work. I am sorry that you and your husband are fighting and I really hope things will be better for the both of you. I wish that there were legitimate work from home jobs that we can do over the Internet to make enough money to help suppliment the income.

Wow. I am in a somewhat different boat, but along those same lines. My husband did not work for 3 years due to an on the job injury. At that point, I was forced to go to work and since I had always been a stay-at-home mom to our four kids (a job which I loved by the way and had no desire to change it), I had no real work experience. I decided to go to school and pursue a nursing degree. I have since received that degree and have been able to provide adequately for my family. During this time, we did get used to having a little more money than before, and now my husband is unable to earn wages comparable to mine. His solution? We both work. I hate it. I feel like a horrible mother, and we still don't have money after day care, extra fuel, and extra lunch money (for all family members - who has time to pack the kids' lunches now?). So, we are fighting more than usual also, because he feels that he (or I) works for nothing, the house isn't as clean and organized as it used to be, laundry is a struggle, the cars and house need routine maintenance, but he works 12 hour days 7 days a week and I have four kids and their schedules plus mine to maintain. Yet, we are both hesitant for me to quit my job for many reasons, not just money. Oh yes, I understand about the money situation you are going through quite well. I also remember being in the exact situation you describe prior to my husband becoming injured. One year, my husband got paid the Friday before Christmas at which point I went and got all of the Christmas gifts off of layaway, only for him to be laid off the following Wednesday. These fights are so common to married couples, but compromise and good manners do get you through it. I hope the best for you.

Firstly, let me say that I am so sorry you are in this predicament. Believe me, you are not alone! In this household of just myself and my husband we rarely argue about money. There is an important reason for this; my John was made redundant in May 2008 from a firm he had worked for for 21 years, virtually from leaving school. This meant that he was unemployed, like myself. It was a real struggle during this period as there was hardly any money coming in and his redundancy money ended up going on bills as opposed to any treats we may have wanted at that time. It took him 4 months to find another job and he now has to travel to get to it. The money is less than before and he feels obliged to do lots of overtime just to make ends meet. One good thing to come out of this experience is that he has no credit card as the company froze it and he was unable to use it as before, anyway, once it was paid off. His parents have helped us out financially and without them I do know that we would really be struggling now. However, John is a very proud man and wants to take on this financial burden all by himself. Once I find a job I know that we shall be back to normal again...but it is tough finding work here as it is very quiet at the moment. Oh, dear, I haven't cheered you up have I?!! My Mum worked on school dinners (and still does) as she was always home when we came home from school, but she never worked when we were toddlers, it was a different "time" then. Things are different now. Say you did work; is there anyone that can look after your son if you do?

Hi, I'm pregnant with my first child and have just got married less than three weeks ago. Christmas this year for us is a nightmare. We've ended up with far less money than we intended to have and probably won't be able to go on holiday this Christmas. My husband has two children from a previous marriage and they are coming to live with us from now on. The worry is disappointing the kids as at this point in time there is 7 days until Christmas and no money for Christmas presents. We are also very worried about how we are going to be able to afford to school the children. At this point in time I'm not able to work for health and other reasons and my husband is also out of work right now. As you can imagine the strain is extreme and yes we are definately snappy at each other, but we are trying to have faith that God will deliver us somehow. We are trying not to worry because the worry doesn't help on top of the problems themselves, and we have to be strong for the children as it is going to be hard for them too. I hope your situation improves. I believe ours will somehow.

hi dorannmwin sorry to hear you are having that financial cruch so many of us are having here in California. I think our only fights we had were over finances and whether or not I should go back to work. well I did occasionally work when he was jobless on his lawn and landscaping job but when push come to shove, and he had to have ca surgery and was unable for a long time to work, I had to take a part time job over and above his sulks. he felt bad that he was house bound and I had to work.I did not mind as I loved my job in the library.was on Ssi and social security both and I felt bad as every time I got a small raise they took that much money out of his ssi check.but we were survivors and we did get through it and learned not to fight about money.