I feel like I have been screwed again!
By AMcMahan
@AMcMahan (38)
United States
December 17, 2009 2:55pm CST
Last week, my husband led me to believe that his pay check was $200.00. I bounced a couple of checks and come to find out, his pay check was $13.00. I now have $105.00 in ISF fees, plus the amounts of all 3 checks. I thought when we got married he was supposed to be honest with me but obviously that is not how things work. Also, I thought that when we were married, everything is ours, apparently not, it all became his. We have only been married 6 months and I am in the hole worse now than I was as a single parent. I don't know how much more of this I am gonna be able to take. Somebody please help....things will get better, right?
2 people like this
5 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
18 Dec 09
Hi there AMcMahan,
Welcome to mylot. Well, you are right, marriage(any relationship)should be based on honesty and trust. Unfortunately that is not always the case. One thing that I'm sure you have figured out by now is that you never write out checks until you know for sure that the money is in the bank. I learned the hard way that as a woman, it is best to take charge of my own finances & life. You should have your own bank account and be fully aware of all the household expenses. There should be another account where you both contribute to the household bills, etc. Did you talk to your husband about this? What was his excuse?
@apgh09 (514)
• United States
18 Dec 09
hi amcmahan, sorry to hear that your husband has lied to you that is unacceptable in a mirage because you depend on each other for so many things, I would sit down and have a serious talk with him and see what he has to lie about, he may be ashamed or he may be doing something he has no business or have poor money management skills. but dont assume anything talk to your husband, and another solution is to have a joint account and both of you check on that account regularly, and have two separate accounts one for you and one for him. or if you cant agree on that situation you can still have two accounts one being for the bills and the other being for daily life expenses like gas, food, fun activities. i believe in always having something for yourself. Women depend on men to take care of them in a mirage and the husband leaves the woman pennyless and thats not right.
@AMcMahan (38)
• United States
19 Dec 09
I'm not dependent on him. I was a single parent for 16 years, and as a single parent at least we had money in the bank every week. We had very little money for extras but I knew it was there. It has cost me more since we've been married that it's been worth. I know that this is supposed to be a joint thing and we are supposed to do things together. If he left, it wouldn't be the first time I have been left hi & dry. And when I told him about it he just said, "I didn't know." When I told him that he did know because he had looked at the pay stub, he said, "I forgot." How do you forget if it is sitting there in front of you?
@apgh09 (514)
• United States
21 Dec 09
hi again, those are excuses, he knows whet he did with the money. i guess with your response you have talked to him about it? Well if he dose not want to cooperate and you have a child to take care of than maybe you should think about opening up a separate account and just hold on to it encase of emergencies. I'm not sure what the relationship is like with your husband and would like to give helpful advice. well take care in the mean time and i hope your situation gets better.
@angelsdaddy (84)
•
17 Dec 09
Im not going to tell you things will get better as they may not and if he has lied to you once what is going to stop him lying to you again? I dont want to make you feel any worse. My partner controls all the money, she gives me some if I need or want any, but I couldnt tell you anything about our finacial affairs!
I think its nasty and cruel that he has lied to you and how did he only end up with $13? What was he doing when he was supposed to be at work? I really do feel bad because I know I am going to make you feel so much worse but you need to evaluate your life. If you need to talk add me as a friend I will talk to you. Right now I am going to have a bath I will be back in about an hour.
Good luck!
@Robinino (38)
• United States
18 Dec 09
I am so sorry to hear about your dilemma AMcMahan, and sorry to say that nine out of ten times, we all get mixed up in this position. Weather it be married or just involved. I have been with this guy for 13 yrs and we recently split up, granted I am still living with him, but that is only until I can find my own place. The first two months were great, we shared to the point where "everything is ours and it is a two way street". It is not like that anymore, I am unemployed and I bring in no income, I am your typical old fashioned Home-Maker. The bills that I have turned into... I am not paying your bills , they are not mine, and of course whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine followed right after that. So now I am in the hole also and worse off now then I was 13 years ago. I am sorry to say that after a 13yr relationship and a failed 4 and a half year marriage before that,... I do not see myself actually falling in love with any one ever again. Too much disappointment when I feel I have found the right one. For your sake AMcMahan, I truly hope it all works out for you. Communication is the key to a happy relationship. Make some time for the both of you to sit down and talk things out, with no distractions. Let all your feelings out on the table, but not in a mean way. If you both can come to an agreement I am sure things will work out for both of you.
