Is it true?

It's more of an Indian concept of marrying the whole family. I find it very stupid. I have argued this with my father also. When two individuals are deciding to get married, why should the whole family involve in it? I don't agree to this concept at all. They will discuss their individual lives completely in detail and also discuss their private details... It just goes on and on, and it never ends. It's fine if you want to stay together as one family and have the concept of a collective family unit, but still, the couple should be allowed good privacy and also they should be allowed to live alone. Especially, the in-laws should stay out of this, and not interfere or mingle too much with their daughters-in-law or Sons-in-law. It's better they maintain a distance.

She is right Happy especially in india its recommended that you share a good rapport with your in laws so you dont have to face any problems with them coz it is you who have entered newly so you got to behave well with your in laws and take care of your mother in law coz she stays at home and it wouldnt be so nice quarelling with her.good day.

if i had been you ,i would have taken few genuine steps to try and sort out the differences .because i would want my partner to be happy and respect my family as i treat them.but if they are unwilling to accept me completely or their seems irrevocable differences then i would separate my ways from them though i would try to help them in need.it would to maintain peace in my own and their too. and regarding marrying the family i do not completely agree.gaining compatibility with ones partner is a tough job and trying to make things work out between families definitely a highly tough job.so i am open to the fact that disagreements can happen but that should not effect the primary ties between a husband-wife.just my opinion

I think that it is important to make an effort with in laws because getting along with them does ultimately make life easier for you, your husband and your children. But I do totally disagree that you marry them when you say 'I do' to your husband. I actually thought about this a lot before we were married because I originally felt the opposite way, that you are marrying them, and while I was absolutely prepared to marry my husband I was not willing to accept the idea of marrying his family. After giving it much thought and talking to different people about it I came to the conclusion that I am only marrying the man, not the family. They are only part of our lives in the way we decide as a couple is acceptable. And just because I now share their last name doesn't mean they get to insinuate themselves unto my life.

I don't agree with this statement. I keep my distant from some of my inlaws on my husband's side and on I stay away from some inlaws on my side. I don't agree with if you marry the person, you marry his family. My 2cents....

I agree with your cousin. If you have problems getting along now, this will put a strain on your marriage. Trust me, I know from experience. I would at least try to get a long.

Earlier generation people thought that in-laws are like parents and siblings and maintained a good rapport with them. But now-a-days girls think that they are related only to the husband and they do not have anything to do with in-laws. After marriage the girls belong to the husband's family and that husband's side family will become her family. Then only a rapport will develop with in-laws. If they distance with in-laws, then how love and affection will develop between them?

I don't agree with that, either. A marriage is a forever union (at least, it's supposed to be forever) between two people. Sure, you should be civil with his family and he to yours, and TRY to make things work...but when a man and woman get married they become separated from what family they had and form their own. When I first met my husband's mom's side of the family, they hardly seemed to notice I was there. That depleted all respect I could have gained for them...first impressions mean a lot to me. That doesn't mean that over the years I haven't attempted to get to know them. Although they have done things I strongly disagree with, I have to realize that if my husband wants to continue talking to them and spending time with them, that's his decision. I married my husband. We now have our own union, our own family, our own way of life. We do not have to be connected to other family at all if we don't want to be. In my opinion, you have no obligation whatsoever to try to mend things if they won't meet you halfway. But I also think that you should be above their level and be civil even if they're not...that way if things go terribly wrong, they cannot make any intelligent argument that it went back to the way you acted. Also, tension between in-laws and spouses can hurt the other spouse, the one in the middle. Not to mention it may make both sides look angry and immature to your spouse--despite what the truth is.

Its true you can not change it.When you marry someone you get maarry to all that persons family.But sometimes its hard to accepts it because your inlaw could be very difficult to understand you and vice versal but you have to try a way to understand them too.But you and the inlaw can came to an agreement if you tell them wahta you do not like about them and the should tell there same time so that at the end of the day peace should rein.

Hi happy2512,Yes it is really true.to have a good relationship to your husbands family.If you love your husband ,you must love also his family to have a harmonious or peaceful living.Your cousin was right,find a way to patch up and start a new relationship with your in laws.Show to them that you care and love them.I'm sure they will love you also.Good Luck!

Well that is the common problems in a marital relationship when relatives and immediate families do have conflicts. It is better that you at least show them some effort from you that you are eager to be in reconcile with them and that if ever they have some impressions and unsolicited opinions, better yet have consulted you to have a good relationship. but, if after the said attempt it did not work,then you can tell your partner that you did your best and your efforts was seen. Just do not let outside facts influence your family in a way will lead to negative outcomes because no matter as it is seen, Your concern is you family and FAMILY goes first beyond all things.

I agree with you partly that you don't also marry the family but you are only married to one person your partner. Just don't lost hope soon enough the problems will be solve. Time will heal do not force it.

It is mostly true that when 2 people are married, that's not only to each other, but also that's the "marriage" between 2 families. It depends on cultural also, in Asian culture, it is more common. If the person is very family-oriented, then it is more likely to be like this. Please don't take it as a bad thing. Try to think, if he/she is so concern about the feeling of his/her family member, then you are also concerned and respected as a family member, isn't it great?

I think maybe you should take the first step, and maybe after that they will be willing to patch things up as well. Being on good terms with your in-laws definitely will reduce future tension. It's not good to be on bad terms with anybody, nevermind somebody that is your family now.

You should try and patch it up but only if they are willing to meet you half way and see their error of Ways to They say that when you marry a Person you marry their Family to and in a sense I suppose that is so true as they will be a part of your Life I know it is not easy to keep the Peace all the time but it is better to get it sorted then sit on it

No you don't marry your inlaws. You can stay away from them. You don't owe them nothing. If your husband wants your kids to know them he can take them over there. Spend time with your own family and let him spend time with his then you will be happy because you will be around people who love you. Keep your distance from your husbands family and if you have to be around them ignore them by talking on the phone to people who care about you.

Probably because you have to keep yourself close to them because you have been a part of their family too..