He is the worst.
By cr0ssf41r13
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
Philippines
December 19, 2009 8:36pm CST
I am so disappointed with my best friend's boy friend and myself as well since I tolerated things. Things are really complicated right now between us.
My best friend's boy friend got her pregnant a few months after he told me he loves me. Of course, all the time they were still together and I felt really bad. Good thing I needed to stay out of town for college.
I thought everything is fine by now since my best friend gave birth to the baby. I know nothing's more important to them by now but the baby. However, I was really mad when I heard that he still likes me. He says he's confused since he's not really prepared to be a daddy. He loves her and he loves me. Of course I told him this isn't proper and he needs to be by her side.
I'm feeling awful since I was keeping everything from her. I told this to a very close friend and she told me I must tell this to my best friend before things get way too out of hand.
What should I do now?
3 people like this
13 responses
@rene12 (794)
• Philippines
20 Dec 09
All i can say is he is not confuse. Why? coz he is being too selfish. I can really see what he aims to. He got his girlfriend pregnant and isn't that also love? He just want his gf and you at the same time or maybe he wants you coz the other already gave birth to a child. All angles I can see is just selfishness.
No offense but
T-U-R-N H-I-M D-O-W-N
(^_-)v
1 person likes this
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
I agree with LetranKnight. He is confused. However, I think he does know what is wrong but he just ignores it. And boy, he really is selfish. But of course, as you said rene, I must turn him down.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
20 Dec 09
of course, he's confused and that caused him to be selfish too. he should know what is right from wrong and what he feels is for her is completely wrong. it's better if she does not contact with this person so that these two will have to do other things and leave him out of her mind someday.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
20 Dec 09
I don't know what good telling your friend would have done. Although I guess if you would have told her that he said he loved you before she got pregnant then she might have broke it off with him and not being raising his child now. But now that they have a child together I don't think you should tell her because it will just make things very stressed and difficult. how do you feel about the boyfriend? Do you have feelings for him? I think maybe you should distance yourself from him for a while.
1 person likes this
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
20 Dec 09
I don't have feelings for him. To make it clear, I have a boy friend when he told me those things. He constantly calls me every day back then. My boy friend was shocked when I told him about my best friend's boy friend. He told him to back off but my best friend's boy friend just didn't back off. I was distancing myself from them but had no choice since I have to do things for the child's christening.
@judelen (428)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
Hello there! What can i see here is that, you and your best friend in one guy. Oh! I think the best you will do now is to confess that to your best friend. Then if you are not interested of that guy, go away from him. Being frank and honest is good for us ladies. Anyway love is the basis of a relationship. But be practical, you are single, do not make any problem where in this moment you can step away out of it. I say this because, we ladies frankly is easy to believe and fell in love to a man especially when they are caring, seems to be loving. But remember do not put your heart above your head, it should be that your heart over your head. What i mean here is that, you think it twice before you make a decision. The bottom line here, do not create a problem in the future, where you know what will gonna be happened. Better to get a relationship to a single person, no kids at all, anyway you are single too.
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
Thank you for your response, judelen.
I have no interest in being together with my best friend's guy and in being a relationship right now as well. I am trying my hardest in the University and I have a really tight schedule so there is no way I could date.
I agree that when guys show interest in us, we easily fall for them. Been there, done that. But they won't do to a choosy girl like me. 
@yinmm007 (605)
• China
20 Dec 09
You should refuse the man as soon as possible.I don't think he love you really as he is an irresponsible person.You should not believe him whatever he said.And as your friend told you you should tell all of what he said to you to your best friend.If you won't tell her i think she will detest you after she discover the truth.Cut a tangled skein of jute with a sharp knife.
Wish you can resolve it quickly.
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
I do wish to resolve this matter quickly. Or should I just drop it off as if it never existed? I don't know if I would believe him or not but I was constantly refusing him from the very beginning.
@raisur (423)
• Bangladesh
20 Dec 09
I'm really confused why you didn't tell your best friend when her boy friend told he loves you? now that your best friend has a baby begotten by her boy friend, certainly you have reasons to be shocked hearing he still loves you... but, what's the good telling her now? i think, that will rather make things complex for her as she has now a baby... she may get confused too, or even have a feeling of mistrust about you... certainly you should turn him down, at the same time you should try to motivate him about his duties towards his baby and the mother... it's immaterial now whether he is prepared to be a daddy or not, he is already one...
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
That was all that I was doing when we talked. I turned him down but he says he's not over the feeling (if he does feel something towards me). I told him to stay with her since she needs him the most at times like these. I told him he must be a good father since it's his child she carries and he knows that fact too well. And yes, it doesn't matter of his preparedness on being a father since he is indeed one now. I think he just needs to go on with the flow and be a responsible man.
I was afraid she would get mad at me back then so I didn't tell her. She's pretty touchy especially since they just got back together after he cheated on her big time with a girl on our class.
I really am confused on telling her about this since it would ruin relationships bad and the future as well. I trust her and I think she's strong to handle whatever would happen in the future.
@leoshowtime1983 (1)
• China
20 Dec 09
Things will pass soon. i suggest you needn't told your best friend that will let your relationship totally bad. you should leave the boy away since "baby" makes every thing impossible.just forget the relationshio between you and your " loved boy " . Then time will erase everything. Trust me !!!!
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
Been there, done that, leoshowtime? I don't love him so he's not my "loved boy". I was leaving him from the very beginning but he was too confused. But I don't think my best friend would be mad at me since I did refuse her boy every time he reaches out.
I don't love him so he's not my "loved boy". I was leaving him from the very beginning but he was too confused. But I don't think my best friend would be mad at me since I did refuse her boy every time he reaches out.
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
I am confused with the concept of love too but I know morals. So he's confused about love and morals at the same time.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
20 Dec 09
Hello cross,
my advices is let them be and probably avoid contact with her or him. it's alright to keep that from her since you didn't fell to his boyfriend,right? the guy is just to stupid, he should have choice instead of her. he is a very confused boy who got your best friend pregnant. in time, he will learn to love your best friend, if not then it's better not to come back. atleast not for a long time.
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
I agree that he is stupid. He is very stupid. I don't know whether to stay away from them but my best friend bugs me because she says I needed to help her with her child's christening. She gave me a task: invitations.
@danitykane (3183)
• Philippines
20 Dec 09
hi cross,
Like what the topic's title say...he really is the worst thing. I don't get his reason for telling he does like you. It is very childish and irresponsible. Knowing your best friend also involved in the situation. He has a big responsibility to take and telling stuff like that isn't funny. As for me, you shouldn't waste your time in him. It is worthless. Having communication with him will not resolve any issues thus, making it more worse. You deserve someone better and as for your friend....she deserve to know what is happening, I know it'll be hard but, if you really are a true friend you should let her know that his man is doing stuff like this. Hope for the best.
Happy Lotting!
Happy Lotting!@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
I think so too that she deserves to know what is happening but I don't know how to say it and when. I don't want to ruin my friendship and their on-the-brink relationship.
@Savedeath (255)
• China
20 Dec 09
i think you should tell your friend the truth.because she is your best friend and her boy friend is bad.if you are real good friends then you should think about her future,does she can be happy with this kind of husband??.of cource you can't decide what she should do,but you should give her the chance to make her decision.
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
Thank you for your reply. I realized something. It's not too late to tell her because she isn't really tied up with the guy. However, I think she'll hold on to him no matter what since he's the father of her kid.
It's not too late to tell her because she isn't really tied up with the guy. However, I think she'll hold on to him no matter what since he's the father of her kid. @ruchimom (280)
• Australia
20 Dec 09
Hi
I think yoou mst confess to your friend .As I am sure he will get with her and then he will try to tarnish your reputation and your friendship(as men always do this out of jealousy)
Tell this to her because I think he is just wanting a way to get out this situation and not be responsible for the mom and the baby
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
20 Dec 09
He really is irresponsible. He has this record of cheating with his girls and my best friend wasn't paced a bit because she was too confident of herself. For the first two years he is clear of the offenses but when we were about to graduate, he snagged a girl in our class and, boy, was he busted. He was more than willing to leave my best friend for the girl. It was too hard for my best friend to take so she let him go. After a while, the ex begged for forgiveness and, poof, they were at it again. Their relationship is really complicated. I think he's just too impulsive... and stupid.
@hoodwinks (157)
• United States
20 Dec 09
well whats done is done. yeah you should be honest to your friend or just don't say anything so you don't start any drama and just keep away from him. he really doesn't deserve you or her. my opinion I am married with three kids, me and my wife have been together for nine years and four years married. so yeah best way for this not to get out of hand would be to stop talking to him if you really want him to be by her side. you know there are plenty of other men out there. or you can tell her and well be ready for the drama to start. this can be tough so tread lightly.
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
20 Dec 09
I am not really interested in getting on their way. What concerns me is that this guy isn't loyal. I don't want to see my friend crying too hard as she was before. If things are like this, would they end up in getting separated a few years after they were married? I think the guy mentioned before that he wasn't ready to get married with my best friend but he feels he was obligated to do so. Of course, in this Catholic country, once you get a girl pregnant, you need to get married with her.
@PSDirectory (116)
• United States
20 Dec 09
The best thing that you need to do is just back off and stay away. I understand that you cant help if you love someone, but sometimes its just not right and you need to keep your feelings to yourself, as difficult as that might be.
And leave this boy in the dust because not only is he someone elses boyfriend, hes also someone elses father now. So dont allow him to make you into a sideline h-o-e.
The truth does set you free and if its eating you up alive, I would definitely tell your friend about what has been going on, regardless of the consequences & reactions that it might bring. Or, you have the option of just dropping the whole situation and act like it never existed!
@cr0ssf41r13 (866)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
I wish I could just drop the whole situation as if it never existed. I think he's willing to do so too if I talked him into it or threatened him into it. I never wanted to be a sideline h-o-e (this is too hilarious) so I'm firm in turning him down and getting away from him. To make things clear, I don't have any feelings for him.
But yeah, the truth will set me free.
