Sacrifices Gone in vain
By DenverLC
@DenverLC (1143)
Philippines
December 19, 2009 11:18pm CST
I don't know if you understand me or not. I am feeling down right now for my elder sister and me too, we work hard that much, sometimes disregarding our own concern and limiting our own wants just to send our younger brother and sister in school for their own future.
It is not an obligation we know but as a help to the family as well and to give a break to our parents as they are no longer getting younger.Yes, they are finished in their studies, our sister is a registered nurse who got married less than a year after passing the nursing board, now our brother is a bachelor of science in Information Technology graduate who did the same thing as our sister did, impregnated her girlfriend at a young age.
I am not expecting something in return because we are happy for their successful studies, however don't they have the sense of gratitude? A slight sense of responsibility to give back in any pleasing way they can for the family first? I find them too selfish and unreasonable. Am I selfish too in my view?
3 responses
@Genericbe (1376)
• Philippines
20 Dec 09
actually, the way I viewed it, you are selfish in your view but I think you are unselfish in totality.
It is very hard in a family to accept things that did not went as been expected by you, your elder sister and your parents regarding your other two siblings.
Honestly, right now many families in financial crisis but still your family with your support managed still to provide education for them. That is your way of sharing gratitude to your parents and shouldering their tasks is a big relief for them.
Your two siblings are selfish in a way, they did not even attempt to discuss their plans with you considering you provide them. I empathize with you. I cannot blame your feelings because you and your sister had set good examples for them and in your family and very hard to accept the situation that they have opted other obligations instead of your family first.
They chose that kind of life. Maybe they are to confident in themselves that both of you are their to fulfill and provide the task. Seemingly maybe they see have the conception that their participation or role is not that important for them. That is why they chose to look for other task or obligation in life instead in your family.
In a family, different views, attitudes are seen.But no matter how rude, insensitive, they are still a part of family. Your parents knows the truth and all your endeavors are treasured by them. At least, when you move to the next stage of life, you will have no regrets regarding your family because you have done your role and returned the gratitude.
Your sacrifices went fruitful, because your parent had seen your hardships and for them it is Rewarding.Your two siblings will carry your hardship for them till lifetime and it in them if they still have the conscience in return.
Let this situation be an additional learning experience with acceptance and realizations. Let time reveals all and Go on with your plans in life.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
20 Dec 09
Hi: I think that's a good advice. As you said the situation itself it's a learning experience and i also think that those good things you do to the others and to your family will in the end have a reward, you don't know how, or who will give you the prize you deserve for your good actions but this life is lived in perfect symmetry, what you do that will be done to you. Thanks for your answer and advice. Have a nice day.
-Alvaro.
@arystine (1273)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
Hi there. I don't think you are being selfish. After all, you've sacrificed so much. You're not actually preventing them for doing what they want, you just want something to be done in its own time. I understand where you're coming from. You provide for your family, expect nothing in return. You just hope that things will be better for your family because all of your siblings are now capable of earning money. Yet, it is a frustration because their decisions to get married early will hinder them to provide for your parents and focus on their own families instead. There is nothing selfish about that. What you have is a compassionate heart.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
20 Dec 09
Hi Denver: I don't think you are being selfish because of that, it's simply what a father deserve after a big sacrifice like this one you have made and that not every father cares for it. It's not their obligation but at least, dopn't feel sad, you do what you consider the best for your sons and that's a blessing God will recognize you. Hope your children soon change their minds and remember their moral responsabilities with their parents. Thanks for sharing with us your sad experience. Have a nice day.
-Alvaro.
