Are you still stuck in the past?

Hi snowstormz, All you can do is change the way you do things and hopefully it'll help you. I've been stuck in the past about certain things and it bothers me very much. I've made a few mistakes and I can't get past them, I wish I could go back and change things but unfortunately I need to realize I can't and all I can do is try to make things better for myself. If I keep making the same mistakes than I didn't learn but I'm trying not too do that to myself again. I believe deep down inside their are certain things that everybody wishes they could change or even certain things they wish they could go back and relive because they we're great memories or experiences. You can always go and talk to someone professional if it helps, I have in the past and it did help to talk with someone who didn't personally know me or see me every single day. However, that might not work for everyone, it's just an idea. Sometimes it helps to tell your feelings and past experiences good or bad to another person who isn't directly in your everyday life.

You can only escape from your past if you change the course of your life. The fact that it is chasing you means that you have to deal with it perhaps for your survival. We all have pasts that can haunt us. I too have them but I have changed my course which has taken me away from it and hence I am at peace. Mine is not a big issue. There was someone who was struggling for popularity in the family and to gain that objective I was the victim. I have drifted away from that person and so I am at peace and have left my share of the 'apple pie' behind.

I know what you mean. I can be stuck in the past too; and sometimes memories of the past caught up with me more often than not. I will be thinking about things from the past pretty much and can be really lost too. But I will recover soon as well..

Every person has its own way to deal with the past. In your situation, I cant comment more since I was never in your shoes. I can symphatize with you but I cant resolve your problem. It would be in your own power and might. Its normal that you will always be reminded of your past and all I can say is you are living for your children and whatever you do will affect them may it be good or bad. Just be strong, ask for God's guidance, and support from your famiies and friends. Good luck and God bless.

Well, a collection of past mistakes eventually becomes "experience" which will fuel to success in life. =) Don't despair, don't think of the "what ifs"

It's hard. But you have to let go, and forgive yourself for whatever caused you the bad experience. Move on. There is no use in living in the past. Past is past. What is good about remembering the past is that hopefully, you have learned from it, and won't repeat it now. Make today and your future a better one, through the past.

it can only happen when instead of consciously trying to block them.lets just acknowledge the fact that they had been a part of your life about which little can be done.so let them be there and look forward to best things life has to offer in your future.all the best

A good question. Even my past has resurfaced in front of me many times and bothered me much. Especially, when I see a child being ill-treated or beaten up by it's parents, or even when I hear a teacher hasn't behaved properly with the students, it really annoys me a lot, since I have been through a lot of traumatic experiences with school as well as at home. So, with these things, moreover there are many times suddenly you are put in a situation when people start talking about their futures and careers, and also their past, which have been good, and when you sit and watch them, and compare yourself, that even you had a life like them, and the only difference was, they had their destinies handed over by a fairy, and for me, why did I have to suffer? So, what can we do in these situations? I matured very early in life, and somehow, I had a divine hand protecting me all the time, and guiding me through my destiny and today, I have learned a totally different meaning of life. Early suffering and bad incidents and experiences, made me mature quicker than any of my friends, and really pushed me hard on to the spiritual path. Well, I started meditating at a relatively early age, and life did push me to the extreme where I was left with no option at all. Finally, I was pushed to the extent to become desireless and be content with what I have. If you have bad memories, just speak it out to someone close and have them listen over and over again. If you have nobody, just sit in front of the mirror, look at yourself and speak whatever is bothering you from inside. Whatever is there inside your heart, speak it out. I have done it numerous times. I just sit in front of the mirror and let out everything.. But now, since I have a picture of my Guruji, I look at his face and related with him and speak everything... Sooner or later, I feel a calm sensation, and suddenly answers flowing from nowhere.... I have done this repeatedly over the years. Just speak out my frustrations and bad experiences, and later, after a few days I am fine again and busy with my daily life. Well, the first thing I would ask you to do is, practice meditation and pranayama. And the second thing is, write down what is bothering you, and also speak every feeling out to someone, or someone's photo whom you look up to. If you worship someone as personal God, then speak to them. We all evolve slowly through hard experiences of life. We can never evolve spiritually, or never mature, if we don't go through suffering. Suffering is the one of the only ways to liberation.

The best thing to do is to let those experiences out, rather than lock it up!! The best way to do that is to talk to a good friend, who is a good listener and who you can trust and count upon for support and advice. Locking things up wouldn't make it go away, it just puts those experiences in cold storage!! Just talk and release those bad experiences, then move on!!

Hi snow stormz: I have done it and it's not a good advice to keep this strong bad feelings inside of you. The result is that you lose your own peace. I recommended you to do some therapy, it's not necessary that you go to a specialist but at least you need to ask yourself to find the reasons you hate, express what you would like to say in a private place to the persons that hurt you and then it's time to forgive. You will need to this as much as you need to feel again in peace and to destroy those feelings that are hurting you. Thanks for telling us your problem. Don't worry you can be stronger than this episode. Have a nice day. -Alvaro.

I wish I could tell you a way to avoid that, but that has happened to me too. Some events can hurt us deeply enough as to make us feel pain again every time we look back. We can try to replace the bad memories making good ones, but the brain doesn't work that way, and all memories have a little corner for them, so it's better ot let the bad ones stay at the back, and the good ones at the front, to be the 1st ones we'll look at.

Dear snowstormz, always forget the past act for the present and think of the future.

There times when just talking about it may help. When you talk about something that happend to you and is painful to think and to talk about, getting it out of your system with sharing it to somebody else could really help you. However, there are some things that want go off no matter how much you talk about them and I saw some really good suggestions in this topic. Yes, you can change the course of your life, it is maybe the best action you can take. Or, you can face your issues. I don't know what is it about, but there are some things that can be left in the past only when you gather all your strength and confront your fears, make yourself see YOU for who you are now, not for who you were, there, in the past

I think things like those will not be forever forgotten. though you might forget about it once in a while, it will surely flash back in your mind. Those significant things (good or bad) will linger forever whatever you do.

Hi, snow. Something worst and very unfortunate happened to us almost 6 years ago now. We lost a husband and a father of my children to criminals. It was very tragic for my children and myself. It took me several months before I could go back to work and all I did was cry in pain and anger. Friends came to help me emotionally, prayed for me, gave me readings on how to cope with the situation, and I sought the help of God, most especially. One day, I realized that it was getting me nowhere. I had to rise above all of it not because of myself but more because of my three children. I slowly regained the strength and moved on. I admit that at times, the nightmare comes back. I admit that I still cry and it pains me as I remember it. But somehow, I have already found ways on how to get out of it quickly. Maybe you can also do what I did. Pray a lot; get some spiritual and inspirational readings; make yourself busy in something that you most enjoy. I went to play badminton with elementary and high school students and I laughed a lot with them. Go out with friends and indulge in wholesome activities. I have also written a long, long letter to the nuns and poured out everything to them. I was quite relieved having someone to tell the whole story to. I asked them to help me pray for peace and serenity.

hi snow, It is sometimes hard to forget the things that had happened in the past. Most of us would say time will help us forget our past, it'll heal all wounds and make things better again. It is in fact true but, there are things that even time can't heal. We can be haunted by the things or events in the past and make our present a bit awful and sad. All I know is, "acceptance" together with "time" and "prayer" will help us face our future and live our lives with full of hope and hapiness. Accepting the things that had happened and make it as a big challenge and a new step for a better and yet wonderful tomorrow. Happy Lotting!