What should I do?
By marywang1984
@marywang1984 (85)
China
December 20, 2009 9:36am CST
My boyfriend is very nice to me,but Recently he always quarreled with me for triviality,which never happened before so I think he is not tolerant of me but I don't know why because I think I didn't do something wrong and these things are very small and not important.Now I am confused and sad if I can't find the reason,maybe we'll break up.What should I do? Is it love run-in period? Have you ever met this kind of things? How did you deal with it?
3 people like this
9 responses
@lakerfanster (2577)
•
20 Dec 09
When a relationship is like this it might mean that he has something going on that he is not telling you, Not necessarily that he's cheating but he may have something that is making him angry or nervous. You need to sit down and talk to each other about your feelings and if there is something he's keeping from telling anyone then he needs to let his feelings out.
1 person likes this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
20 Dec 09
Hi lakefanster: I totally agree with you. The best way a couple can solve these situations is talking. It's possible that you hear something you don't want to hear, something painful but it's better to know how your partner is feeling and what is he thinking and stop wondering what's going on. Thanks for your answer and advice. Hope you are having a nice day.
-Alvaro.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
20 Dec 09
Hi mary wang: I am sorry for you and that you told us this is happening in your relationship right now but according to what you have told us it's possible that he doesn't love you anymore. That's an idea, please don't get conclutions too fast. I would advice you to ask him what is going on and why has he changed without a reason. Maybe he admit his fault and then you both try to save your relationship. Hope everything will be alright and in case it won't be strong even if it's difficult in this situations. Thanks for asking us for advice. Have a nice day.
-Alvaro.
@marywang1984 (85)
• China
21 Dec 09
Thank you very much for your advice and I will calm down then to find the reason.Have a good day.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
27 Dec 09
My husband and I bicker all the time and then a minute later everything is fine. If it appears your boyfriend still loves you and the fights are very small and not too insulting to you, it is probably no big deal, but if he is constantly putting you down and hurting your feelings and even after you have told him that he has hurt your feelings and he continues then perhaps it would be a good idea to end it, but make sure it is really a big deal or not and ask yourself if you are being too sensitive, if the answer is no then you know that it is not a good environment for you, if the answer is yes perhaps you are being to sensitive then the two of you should try to work through this.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
21 Dec 09
hello mary,
I am thinking of two things. either this person was only nice because he wanted to lure you into him being your bf and then show his real attitude later on.or probably fight in the relationship is normal and youshould get used to it. i don't know the whole story so i don't think i can agree with you just yet. just, uh. be specified of the story first before i can give my advice, but that's what i think for now.
@jpertin (60)
• India
21 Dec 09
As per my experience Boys tend to loose temper when you become over possesive and does not give him any freedom. Most of the guys do not want to loose their freedom. freedom in talking to freinds, freedom of doing things their own way.
He might also loose his temper if you ask for all justification for his every act.
Bottom line is give some time to make his own space.
@javoblrbaba (189)
• India
21 Dec 09
hi marywang, I am sorry to her about your situation, in this type of case you have to deal the matter very sensitively. I think he must be in some of king depression why don't you take him to some restaurant or park and discuss the problem? ask the reason for what he is quarreling often with you, tell him that every does mistakes and nobody is exempted from that, tell him to read some personality development books and finally tell him that REMEBERING THE SMALL MISTAKES OF ANOTHER PERSONS SPOIL THE RELATIONSHIPS AND REMEBERING THE HAPPIEST MOMENTS MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP STRONGER
@anotherxidentity (1434)
• United States
20 Dec 09
Well first off how long have you guys been together? That is the main information to know. And secondly has anything radical happened lately. Did you take things to another level, have you moved in, did someone get a new job, etc.
Those things can cause a person to realize that the other person isn't right for them. And that is normally when the small arguments happen because there is a bigger problem behind it all. The best thing to do is ask him to be completely honest with you and ask what is bothering him overall.
@Apple3Cranberry (678)
• United States
20 Dec 09
things can get tough even after long eras of peace. even for the individual. sometimes these are necessary. they like break things up. do something good with it, love him, or get lost, or whatever. get a job. if he's dumb then be dumb too. lol.