I'm a slave...a prisoner...

pentagan, I would say let it go...try to get out of his life, things might get worse if u choose to stay as a prisoner, it seems it's a one sided relationship which is too much unfair to you.,It's hard to accept at first but time will cure,..You deserves happiness, allow your self to be happy. Goodluck.

i think that you have noticed his mind to you.actually he has know what you have done for him.he could not accept what you do before you.so you should learn to ignore him,not alwayse care him and learn to cool with him and let him think about his behaviour for you.i believe that he can understand your mind and learn to care you slowly.so dont worry about him.you should learn to be independent and be happy to face your life.

Just a piece of advice. Learn to love yourself more. If he is not treating your fairly then he will do the same things more and more and much worst later on. It may be hard at first to let go of him since you may have gotten attached to him already but this doesn't mean that you will stop loving yourself in return. Go out. Have fun. You still have a life to live. Frankly, he is not worthy of your time and love.

so i'm just like you and we are live together around 3 years already and loved each other more than 7 years. every time we have the argument and that's me go to comfort her firstly and apology for my words and behavior. most of the time that's not my fault but i heart ache if i saw she is in sad .

Hello pentagan, first I must say that I am sorry that you are in a relationship that makes you feel this way...no one should ever feel like they are a lesser person for nobody not even a partner. It sounds like me that you are ready to get out of this relationship and the only thing that is stopping you is the unknown...6 years in a relationship is a long time and you are used to what you two have even if it does make you unhappy. You should not have to deal with the way he is treating because whether he or you knows it he is mentally abusing you and to most mental abuse is more harmful than any physical abuse. I would try to make plans towards getting out of the relationship if that is truly the way you want to go...you must realize though that it gets easier as it goes and you CAN make it on your own without this man..you are only use to the comfort and comfort is easy enough to put onto the back burner for happiness. Is there someone you can stay with until you can get back on your feet? If there is I would set up plans with them and make sure everything is in place before letting your boyfriend know that you are leaving that way if it doesn't work out you won't have to come back to him because that will only give him more control because he will realize that you need him but you DO NOT....you will be able to make it on your own it may seem like you can't at first but with time you will realize you should of down this a long time ago. You do not deserve to only hear the flaws about yourself and he does not deserve a strong woman like yourself. Best of luck and remember you can do this!!!

Hi pentagan12, it's a real pity that you're a victim of your life partner's superior complex. In life there are lots of hardship that we face each and every day, but one should be steadfast and true to our life partners, but when the situation deteriorates beyond endurance, one has no other options but to severe the ties with the person. I truely understand your predicament and the misery through which you are forced to put up with. In my opinion, why don't you tell your partner truthfully, that you don't like the way he's acting and behaving and that if he truly loves you, he should mend his was and try to understand you and your needs more often. If he doesn't take heed to your suggestions, what the heck, there's plenty of fishes in the water. Thank you.

I would leave the guy. Control freaks are not my ideal relationship partners. People who are in to those sort of behaviors frequently turn abusive. You don't want to even get involved (or stay involved, as you are currently) with a person like that.

Hi pentagan, It sounds to me like you are for the most part very unhappy and insecure in this relationship and that you are afraid of being on your own. I think you feel bad about yourself because deep down you know that you should not be tolerating this sort of negativity from your boyfriend. I hope you find the power inside of yourself to talk to him about this and if things don't change, to let go of this relationship.

pentagan12 do not ever let anyone no matter how much you think you love them just walk all over you as for one thing nobody likes to have the other person wimp out. stick up for yourself and fight back if necessary as he may really respect you more for it. you are making yourself a martyr over this man, what,is he a God or a mere mortal? tell him off.be real yell if necessary and tell him you will no longer let him put you down. What you are describing is verbal abuse, and this is the way a wife batterer usually starts out,6 years is too long to let this man put you down.You have to get back your self respect. you know you are not what he says, so fight back then if he does not let up, tell him it is over, get out, I am divorcing you and mean it, if you are not married, kick this man to the curb. find the man who will love you for who you are.staying in this toxic relationship can only make you more and more of a slave.this is sick so get out of it. its way past working on the relationship by now. good luck. Merry Christmas. hugs from hatley.

The first thing you do is stop apologising when it is not your fault. Instead of conceding to his emotional blackmail start 'standing up for yourself'. Do this by telling him calmly how he has made you feel, why you feel like you do and what you would like to happen to sort or resolve it. Be 'assertive' not 'passive' in your relationship. He will probably 'kick against this' because he is not used to you taking the offensive but if you persist in handling disputes this way he will either start to listen and co-operate or become very defensive. If over time his responses continue to be negative then you will clearly know that this is a relationship that you must walk away from - it is going to go nowhere. You will have done your best to give it a fair chance and can walk away with your head held high. Never stay with someone who will eventually destroy you by knocking your self-esteem through the floor. You are worth more than that!

In my opinion, i think that everybody fallen in love is considered as slave and prisoner of love depending on the type on the type and the kind of world that love brings to them. In your case, I see it is more of a martyr kind of love. Six long years is to long for bitter relationship and short for a good relationship. You have to make decision in your life which way you wanted to foresee yourself in the future. If you are contented with him and his acts regarding you or you want to see yourself in different way you will be appreciated by others who can love you? That is your choice still. For me, a person who truly loves never tend to hurt the one he love,Instead, make sacrifices like what you did. But any bitter in a relationship will tend you to hate more of the person and not grow. Therefore, it is unhealthy. If a relationship for that long is not enough for him to realize your deep love and sacrifices. Then, what do you think are the reasons to stay for? but, if you can still comprehend with his actions towards you and prefer to still stay in that relationship.. then, I cannot blame you because you are in that situation. But, for me, I will move on with my life without him to give myself a new chance to be loved again by someone worth of my efforts and care. Advance happy new year and good lucK

Just gain more strenght to voice out what you really feel. based on your story, I think your partner is a selfish person. Sometimes you need to talk to wake him up from his long childish attitude. A perfect relationship is composed of loving and appreciating the best characters of our partner, being a fault finder will not do good at all. Try to do the opposite things of what you are doing for him for the past 6 years. never thought that lossing him is the end of everything for you. Give him lessons to ponder, a space to search his own self. When he will beg on you to stay, just don't give way easily for fears sake or to save your relationship. Time will decide what will happen next, just trust in your own move.Let him grow first emotionally and as a person.

If you are feeling like a prisoner at ALL in a relationship, this is indicative of one of two things, 1.) You want out of the relationship 2.) You are not communicating what you want the right way You may be in a situation where you are so used to the relationship that you don't want to end things because you are not sure how to go about it, you say that you don't know how to take the first step. I would try maybe briefly bringing up a "break" or something of the sort, to test the waters. Everyone deserves to be happy in the relationship and to feel loved and accepted and appreciated. I say, that deep down you know what you need to do. Talk to some close friends and tell them how you feel as well. But I know it is sometimes good to get the objective opinion of a stranger! Having felt "trapped" in relationships before, I know how it feels to not be 100% happy, and wishing you could get out but you don't want to hurt the other person, or whatever. But in the end, I was always happier when I got out of the relationship because I did not feel like I was in bondage to the other person. So just think about what you really want, do you really want to be with this person, or are you just really comfortable and don't want to disrupt your way of life? In time you will know what the right decision is.

Why do people get into relationships? To be happy, contented and to feel loved by someone who understands them so they can have good times all the way. By the looks of it, you are having none of those. In my opinion, I don't see any point of you staying with this person any longer. As cliche as it sounds, there are many fish in the sea, and even more men on the land. If it is always you apologising, that shows he doesn't care for your feelings. There is always the fear of losing a partner, but what good has this partner brought to you? Firstly, try talking to him about it and if that still doesn't work, express your desires to take a break from the relationship so you both have time alone to think. This is my opinion and I'm not asking you to do it unless you really think it is sensible, pentagan12