A good friend was caught cheating on her husband... now she wants help from me

Hi Jennifer Lee: As i understand but her and her ex husband are important to you. She might be in trouble right now and if you let her stay in your home it's like approving what he has done. I think you can help her to look for a hotel room or somewhere to stay while she find what to do but she must understand that your friendship with her ex husband is important too and that you can forget this. It's really difficult to help this person but i will not advice you to let her stay in your house because the husband will feel hurt if he knows that and he can misunderstood what you have done. Thanks for asking us about this. Very hard situation, thought. Hope you are having a nice day. Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays. Take Care. -Alvaro.

Better stay away from her also or else she might do a cheating move towards your husband pre caution is better. It does not mean you don't care, but you just let her feel the consequences of her misconduct and let her learn from it. Advise her to change her ways it is not good extending a help for persons who do not know how to help themselves first.

well, since you are friends with both I would say you shouldn't let her stay. but if she has no one else maybe you should. while i don't condone cheating, it usually is a sign that something is missing in the relationship. i found out so much that i didn't know was bad in my best friends relationship AFTER they broke up. If i had known that some of it was going on while they were dating I would have tried to get her to leave long before that. so there are two sides to every story.

there is no harm in helping a person in trouble. but in the meantime you can also enquire why she cheated on her husband. for some people, it is an adventorus journey. some do not like it. may be you and your husband can help her out finding a place to stay. but take her husband also in confidence, and keep him informed. all that you are doing is to help another human being, while maintaining the friendship with the other.

I personally would let her stay, but I would put a time limit on it, as well as make some ground rules. Make it clear to her that you don't condone what she did, and that you're upset with her. Tell her you know there are two sides to every story, but cheating isn't the answer. The reason I suggest a time limit is because of two reasons - if she is the type to take advantage of kindness, she might try to mooch off you and your husband for longer than she is welcome. Also, it might put some stress between you and your husband. Obviously if you don't want her in your house, simply say no. Be blunt, because as bad as it sounds, what she did isn't right, so if she expects sympathy she needs to get her head on straight. If your husband doesn't want her in your house, say no. There has to be someplace else for her to go, like a motel or something. I wouldn't want to pick sides either.

In my opinion she is not so cool minded,there is also probability of danger to your family from her as she has no good mentality .Its better to avoid interference of your family in her family matters because there may be future problems

If I were you, I would not allow her to stay with you and your husband. It might cause stress between you and your husband. You might help her by going with her when she is looking at apartments. You might meet her for coffee away from your house. You can still be friends with her but don't bring her and her problems into your house since your husband does not like the idea.

Jennifer__lee_88 I would not do anything to upset your own husband over this woman friend of yours, its not worth a fuss in your own home,let her go somewhere else or go back to the one she cheated with. Tell her the truth that' your husband is not happy with the idea.Let her go to her own relatives then. you cannot break up your own happy home for her mistakes.

yeah this is hard to decide but as you being a good person and i would allow her to stay with me, but i would tell her she isnt allow to bring the man to your house at all. just explain to your husband and her's you are helping a friend out not the person who cheated on her husband. plus its been cold out and its christmas as well. yeah this is a hard choice to make but i would say you refuse to get mix up with his and her's business

Hmmmm i don't know i with you there that she shouldn't have not been cheting i would pick sides to but these day you never now. I'm not saying that all men cheat i would make sure he wasn't cheating first cus her husben could have been cheating to but not get cauth the same gose for if he was cheting and she kick him out. I think that if she is a really, really good friend then you could do it if you want to but if she is not and she is just a firend then no. But i think you shouldn't becuase from what i read on here she had you as the last resot like she ask every before you so i don't think she is a really good friend.

my first question is why she did not choose to stay at the guy's house? i mean the one she's having relation with (not her husband)? i think i would not let her in to my house but would suggest her to ask for forgiveness from her husband. does your couple friends have kids already? if yes, that could be a reason for him to consider her for a second chance.

I don't to tolerate friends that are like that, she must be given a lesson of her own that what she'd done is bad and would affect your company, if i were you, i would not let her stay in your house since that would be uncomfortable between you and your husband, let her solve the problem that she's making.

I thought Americans are open-minded,cheating,how can you use that word,we have the rights to make lv with everyone who like to even if we are in a marriage,of course,you should let your friend in because everyone has turned back on her,if you also turn your back on her,she will be isolated,I think that is just too much to her will give her a lot of pressure,I think you first should let her in,and when the another couple both calm down,you can bring them together for a conversation,it's no big deal,it's just sk,it's boring if we just have sk with only our husband or wife.This world is already boring enough,why not bring more fun?

Well if your husband doesn't like the idea, and you are upset with her, then I don't think you should let her stay, because sooner or later, the frustration over what she has done will come out. And with you knowing she is willing to cheat on her man, your husband may get nervous that you might think she'll try to get your husband to cheat on you. She is the one that chose to cheat and should of thought about the consequences before she did it. At any rate, If you let her stay, some one is going to be upset with you, and if you tell her no, you might feel bad for a little while, but she will eventually understand and realize why you told her no. The best thing you could do, is sit down and let her know that you are still her friend, but that you are also still friends with her husband and don't wish to be put in the middle.

I would take her in. I wouldn't pretend to be happy with her decisions, but since she's your friend, you need to be there for her. All of us make mistakes in life, and you shouldn't condemn her for hers. Just realize that we are all human and weak. I'm sure by now she's regretting what she did, now that she's seen the fallout. She needs you!

Hi! No, i would not let her stay. There are several reasons behind this. I could not trust her, and if she cheated on her husband then she may try to persuade my husband to cheat on me. Just tell her no she cannot stay with you and your husband, and the reason being is because you both are not choosing sides. If you and your husband are friends wih both of them, they may get back together and if sides are chosen then there may be animosity. Tell her that you just do not want to choose sides and stick to it.

you could not let her stay for a long,your husband could not be happy with what you have done.you should communicate with her husband and let her wife come back home,although this way would be difficlut,but as her,she could not always live outside,she still come back her come,so you should creat a chance for couple and let them good.

I won't let her stay at my house, with my husband. However, helping her find a temporary location to stay so she can move on, I think that's the best I can do (well, unless I am financially strapped and unable to do so).