Do you think it is okay to sleep with your baby in bed and for how long?

In some cultures it is considered normal for children to sleep in the same bed as their mother for quite a long time; in other cultures it is thought bad for a mother ever to have her baby in bed with her. Some people even advise letting the baby cry (so long as [s]he is not in pain or hungry ... and the mother, by nature, is supposed to be able to tell the difference!). If you want him to sleep in his crib, then you have to be as 'hard' as you expect him to be, even though I know how difficult that is for you (and I am a mere man). He will learn all the quicker the sooner you start ... the difficulty begins in earnest when he is in a bed (or able to get out of his crib) and can walk. You will find that a lot harder to deal with, believe me! Being firm (however much it hurts you) but gentle has never caused a child to think that you are mad at him. Kids (or, at least, quite young kids) don't think in those terms at all and he will NOT hate you just because you feel as if you hate yourself for letting him cry! If it helps, think of him as a little man who has to learn how to take some hard knocks. Being secure in staying in his own bed is only a very small lesson to learn ... he will have much harder ones coming. In the end, he will love you the more because you taught him early on to be himself and to cope!

I know he's a baby, but pardon the pun. I think you are babying him a little too much. I realize he's not even a year old yet, but by sleeping with him every time he cries, you are 1. spoiling him, 2. sending the signals that he will get what he wants, all he has to do is cry, and 3. not weening him off of the reliance on mom. Babies need their mothers an awful lot, but similarly to any child or adult for that matter, they cannot be permitted to leech onto mom 24/7. You need your space and so does he. I don't have any children yet, but I have cared for them much of my life. My plan when I have a child is to have the crib in the same room that myself and my fiance sleep while the baby is still very young so that we can both listen for if they need anything and so that they are aware of our presence even if we aren't smothering them. Then, when they are a bit older, I will have a room for the baby that is near to ours and let them have their crib and play things all in their own room, and eventually move them from a crib to a regular bed. This way, the child gets the attention they need without overdoing it and stressing out everyone. I hope I haven't sounded harsh or offensive, as that is not the intention, but that's just what I think. The baby has to not cling to mom so much, and mom doesn't need to cling to baby so much either.

I'm in a culture (chinese, asian) that was probably one of those that your yoga teacher was referring to, but in modern day singapore, not many of us sleep with our babies if we can help it. In fact, my baby is 15 months old and I'm trying to train her to sleep on her own. she often starts out ok, in her own crib, but halfway in the middle of the night she'll wake up and cry to come into our bed. so we bring her in so that we can all continue sleeping peacefully. I'm not sure how I'm going to train her to sleep on her own but I think I've gotta try real soon cos she's taking up too much space on the bed (I don't worry about smothering cos she's real strong now and makes huge protests if we so much as shift her from one position to another, not to mention mess with her breathing) and causing me to have neck and back cramps.

The problem with this is the bad habit you gave him. It will be quite difficult to get him used to sleeping alone. So why don't you try a compromise. Every once in a while, when the little guy is really very tired, drop him in his own crib where he'll be likely to fall asleep on his own. If you see signs that this is working, make it a habit.

In my country it is a regular culture for the parents to sleep with their children until they are 10 years old and it is the tradition in our country. Since as a child may suffer from any ailments it is absolutely necessary for the mother to be with him for always. There are several other reasons such as 1. A child is easily prone to get frightened at night due to any unforseencircumstance which is out of our control. 2. If a child suffers from any fever and other ailments, it is absolutely necessary for the mother to be with him at that moment. 3. A child develops affection and love at that tender age and it is absolutely necessary for the mother to be with him for most of the possible time It is a wrong notion that a child must learn to be independent since his childhood. But it is actually after the age of ten that a child has to be thought to become independent. Have a great day and happy Mylotting. Cheers:-)

i think it is okay to sleep with your baby but not for very long. i started my daughter on her crib the day she was born and every since then she only sleeps with us when she is sick. when she was born all i wanted to do hold her and rock her; just give her all the love i could. my boyfriend told me though that if i kept that up maggie would become ones of those kids you can't every put down. i did not want her to develop the sense that she needed me constantly even babies are very independent beings. she is still a very loving a caring child, but instead of mommy picking me up and walk me to the car she is the i want to do it myself kind of child. i love that about maggie. so yes it is okay in my opinion, but not for very long or you might not ever get that time alone you need in your life (in bed)!!

Good for you to let your baby sleep along with you. But he may get used to it and not leave your bedside. So get him out of it as soon as you can.

The earlier post really was good. It's as he said. Each culture has their own beliefs on where a baby should sleep; which is better. Personally for me, I too felt like you when I tried to get my older son to sleep in a crib. Also, I myself wanted to sleep with my baby and not away from him. And thus, I didn't force him to sleep in the crib. He's now turning 7 years old, has a 21 mth old sister and yet he still sleeps with us on the same bed. But now, I'm slowly starting to get him to sleep seperately. But I too don't think that they are mad at us. In my own opinion, whether it's true or not, they don't want to be alone I guess. They've been spoilt with the mother's warmth^_^

There is much discussion regarding letting an infant sleep with his parents. In some cultures, it is the thing to do. In others, it is taboo. Recently in San Antonio, a woman called paramedics because her child was unresponsive. She had been sleeping on a couch with her infant son beside her. Initial findings were that she had rolled on top of him in her sleep and smothered him. There was talk of charging her with child endangerment. I do not know the outcome of the case.

I know this is a late response but I have to agree with other posters when it comes to the dangers of sleeping with your children...especially an infant. My daughter is just over 3 months old and there were a few nights when it was so cold we thought it would be best if she sleep with us. First of all she slept great!!!!! I know it sounds great but because she was so nice and warm she was probably in a very deep sleep, which can be dangerous to small babies. Experts say that a baby in a cooler room is better because they don't sleep so soundly. Babies that sleep very soundly sometimes forget to breath because they are in such a deep sleep. Blankets and pillows on adult beds are very dangerous to babies and should never be near a sleeping baby. Parents of new babies are often much more tired than they average adult. Either 2 things usually happen. 1) Parents don't hardly sleep because the baby is next to them and then they even more exhausted the following day. Night after night of this is not healthy for the parent. 2) Parents become so exhausted that they may fall into such a deep sleep and not be as aware of the how close they are to the baby or if the baby is up against a pillow or covered in a blanket. I read a story once about a couple who co-slept and they woke up one morning morning and their baby was under the covers at the foot of the bed. They had both been so exhausted they never even realized what had happened until it was too late....what a horrific thing to happen to anyone! I know my daughter loves to be in our bed but I would much rather get up a million times a night and be tired the next day and still have my baby then have a horrific accident happen. For all those who agree with co-sleeping...if that is what works for you and you are comfortable and your baby is happy then that is your decision to make...I just know it is not the right one for me.

hi ambreya Well, my son just turned three and yes he's still sleeping with me, we couldn't both sleep with out each other beside ., We are used to it, his father is out of the country, and haven't get home for more than 2 years.so me and my son doing all things together, he can't separate from me for even one day,.I couldn't imagine life with out my son beside me. But as he grows up I think I should also practice him to sleep alone. For him to be more independent. your son is just 10 months old, and still needed you beside him all the time, to guide him. happy mylotting.

Ofcourse in my country every Mother sleep with then until 10-12 years.

I do not have a child (yet) but I do know that when I was a baby, I refused to ever go to a cot. I went from in the bed, to on mattress beside my parents bed, and when I finally left my parents room, it was on a mattress beside my sister's bed. My mother has never regretted the decision, and I can promise I was a perfectly normally child even though! Its your decision really!

Hi Ambreya3. There's really nothing wrong with sleeping with your baby. As a matter of fact, I slept with my kids too when they were newly born. It's easier to feed them and change diapers when they're beside you, especially at night. Don't worry about the baby getting used to it, beacuse they will outgrow it eventually. Maybe, what you can do, if it really bothers you, is you try to let him sleep in his crib once in a while. Another way is to put the crib right next to your bed. Let him see that even if he is in his crib, you're still right beside him.

I don't think it's wrong. I think you'll know when it's time for your little guy to be on his own at bedtime. I think everyone has a timetable for these things. I don't think you should listen to your mother's advice, just follow your own instincts about matters like this.

I keep my son in his crib, even if it means picking him up and rocking him to sleep a million times before he sleeps without crying. I would be too afraid to keep him in my bed with me. I toss and turn so much I'd smush him if I didn't smother him with the covers.

Amreya3, Please heed the comment from "Nonersays" b/c smothering your is a VERY REAL THING THAT CAN HAPPEN! I have 5 children all of whom slept with my wife and I until they were old enough to CRAWL(about 7 to 9 months old). My WIFE was of the same mind set as YOU until, one night she very tired and went to sleep with my baby girl on her chest and wake-up screaming with the baby wedged between HER side and the mattress. Thank GOD that she didn't roll over on her. Just a warning is all... Happy Holidays & myLotting

My daughter is 8 months old. At the first three month, I have her sleep in her crib and she sleep well. But when she grow older, she likes to sleep with me. I think it is ok to sleep with her. After all, it is easier to look after her during night.