Could you stay with someone who cheated?

Your a smart person. I did stay and he did too and we have been together for 2 years with minimal problems and surely no more cheating. Our relation ship is more opened and healthier then it has ever been. When we were first together he cheated on me I had one child I stayed because of her. I cheated on him for revenge a few time, he cheated on me again. We went through a lot, and a very rough time and told each other the truth and almost split up. And really I don't know what happpend but all the truths healed us. We tell each other everything and we get along so much better now. I think we just got together to young at 15 and 16. It took us a whole 10 years to fall completely in love.

That's a really young age. That's probably why you've had a lot of fights. But I admire you for having stayed together that long. It's just very rare for young relationships to last until the end. Some people just hit back again when you take revenge. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." I am happy for the two of you. I wish you and your family a strong life ahead of you!

Thanks a lot. Ya I think we are way past the revenge stage. We both admit how much we messed up in the past. And we focus on giving our kids a good life. We have quit associating with the people that influenced us to lie and do wrong to each other and who brought drama in our lives. And so far everything seems to be going great.

At the same time i think that even if both members of the couple have cheated to each other they should not continue to their relationship simply because they have destroy their relationship. can they trust in themselves anymore after knowing what they have done? Will they do this again when they have troubles? There's a lot to think. At least they will need to take a time to think if they really want to fight for their relationship. -Alvaro.

Well you are the first so far I think that didn't say it depends. But each to their own opinion of coarse. I have been through this completely. That is why I started this discussion and yes I sure can't explain every little detail because that would take some pages. But I had two children to try and make the relationship work and we had been together for like 7 years. We came out and told each other everything after one of my friends tried back stabbing me and telling him I cheated, and her man was his best friend so she knew he cheated too. After this it did take some time. We were apart for about a month and said we would never get back together. But during this month we did a lot of talking, a lot of thinking and a lot of missing each other. And we decided to get back together. After that we are honest about everything, even some things we should probably just keep to ourselves. And we are happier and more in love than ever. Just September of this year we hit our 10 years together. Our kids and our family is happier than ever. So it is possible to work this kind of thing out. We were together since 15 and 16. I think when people get together this young they are bound to cheat at least once.

I agree if you are in love sit down and have a long talk and try a fresh start. Sometimes this may even take being broke up for a few months also. But if you have kids then I think the relationship surely deserves a second chance.

Yes it is a second chance but not third chances sort of thing.

Well even if she didn't do it the first time she can do it. We have to accept that people change and situations make us do stuff we didn't think we would ever do. Especially stress. If you and your wife went through a really rough time and very stressed and both cheated, you wouldn't consider forgiving each other and trying to make the relationship work?

So you are saying there would be no second chances right?

I understand that. Some people can't forgive. Some people it would be in the back of their mind all the time. I thought that I was like that too. But every situation is different. And it would take pages to explain mine. But I personally think you can grow out of cheating. Some people cheat because they get together young and haven't experienced much but each other. There are many different situations.