Was it right ?
By eshaan
@eshaan (6188)
India
December 27, 2009 7:41am CST
25th Dec is the b'day of my son...and he got a new dress from my sister-in-law..now his son...was not expected to give my son another gift. I think one gift from one family is enough..now what happened that my son had got some cash from our neighbor as b'day gift..so he asked me that I am going with my cousin to buy some toy ..so i thought that he will buy in that amount he has..I allowed...and when he went to shop with sis-in-law's son....the toy was 5 times the money he had...and as he is not so much grown up..and doesn't understands what costs how much ...he took that toy....my nephew had to buy it as he couldn't say anything in the shop...when he came home..I scolded my 7 years son(though it was his b'day)...and I scolded becoz if i said it in normal voice..he would have done it again...to make him understand...what is the importance of money..and how satisfied we should be with what we have..and not to put burden on others...i gave a lecture for about 15-20 mins..his eyes were tearing...I later took him in my arms and also explained lovingly all the things...was i right or wrong...was i too rude to scold him on his b'day..or you think everything is alright ..and everyday is perfect to teach manners? What you would have done?...Just place your views...
3 people like this
7 responses
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
27 Dec 09
If your son had bugged and bugged to get that toy when it was too much, I would have been angry too. I am sure that is the reason for the lecture. I am sure that your sister'in-law's son did not have that much money and that also meant that your son probably got him to spend most of his money on him. That was not nice because I am sure you and your sister-in-law decided that both boys should get toys of equal value. I would have given a lecture as well. I mean both you and your sister-in-law worked hard for that money.
1 person likes this
@eshaan (6188)
• India
28 Dec 09
my nephew is his BIG BROTEHR..he is 27..not a kid...but he had to pay and that i didnt like...at home he told me that he has seen the toy already and it was well in his budget..but when went to that particular shop...that item was not available and then they started exploring market...
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
29 Dec 09
You should have told me that your nephew was an adult and that your son had probably thrown a scene even if he had told you something different like his cousin bought that toy out of the goodness of his heart or he did something nice. Mind you if your nephew bought his cousin something out of the goodness of his heart, that would have put a different spin on things, but I am sure that that money was not just for one person.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
28 Dec 09
I appreciate why you lectured your son and I guess it had to be done. I don’t know how old his cousin is but if your boy is only seven I would expect that he does not yet appreciate the value of things so it certainly is a good thing that you have instructed him. I have an eight year old daughter and in the same situation I would have gone to the store with her because, although at this age they are old enough to understand, they are still young and the excitement of having money to spend on a new toy can take over all good sense.
@eshaan (6188)
• India
28 Dec 09
His cousin is too elderly to him..he can be called guardian ...he is 27...so he is his BOSS ...still I didn't like that he had to pay rest of the money..and if it was normal days..i would have returned him the extra money..but as it was his b'day..even my nephew did not accept the money though i tried to give him...he said its ok..its his B'day ..but all was not good
...still I didn't like that he had to pay rest of the money..and if it was normal days..i would have returned him the extra money..but as it was his b'day..even my nephew did not accept the money though i tried to give him...he said its ok..its his B'day ..but all was not good1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
28 Dec 09
Oh, I see I didn't realise he was with an adult! I am sure your son has learnt his lesson, I guess that is how they learn in life! And I am sure that his cousin really didn't mind! Have a good New Year and let's hope your son stays out of trouble, which I'm sure he will because he sounds like a good kid! Best wishes to you!
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
28 Dec 09
It's definitely a message you need to teach your child, and scolding is called for if no other means of explaination will do. However, I personally wouldnt' have allowed my son to go shopping with anyone but me. For my 5th birthday, I received $20 from a grandparent, and my mom took me shopping with my money. I didn't understand money or the value of it or anything like that. So I had a lot of questions. My mom didn't let me go a cent over the $20 I had, she kept a tally of what I was spending and helped me to stay within my budget. I was told beforehand that I had a certain amount and could not go over that amount. Mom stuck to that. I think it's important that when your child gets their own money from gifts or allowances, it's the parents responsibility to go with the child to supervise and make sure that they don't spend more than they have. He was definitely in the wrong for choosing something he couldn't afford, but someone should have told him that he didn't have enough money and had to pick out a different toy.
@eshaan (6188)
• India
28 Dec 09
I was bit busy...making sweets for his evening party..and he had taken himself at liberty that it was his day..my nephew is quite elder..he is 27..so i didnt thought it wrong to allow him to go with him...but he exceeded the limits..actually his plans changed after seeing the other varieties of toys in the shop..
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
29 Dec 09
Your nephew should have then taken the reins and let your son know that the toy he wanted to purchase was too much and that he'd either have to pick out something less expensive or save his money to buy the more expensive toy at a later time. That's just my opinion of course, but there was an opportunity to make it a life lesson.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Dec 09
hi eshaan I do not think you were wrong, but in this instance it might have been wise to talk to him first before going in the store and tell him you wanted him to use that gift money,then he would have know exactly how much he could spend, my g he is only 7 you expect the same wisdom from him as a twelve year old, you are right he did not under
stand the different costs and could be he thought that your nephew would help him out on it, its best to prepare a child that young first, tell him he can buy any toy that costs less than the gift money then if he takes something out that costs more you gently tell him he must put it back and find something he can afford. this way you do not shame him or hurt his feelings with your long bawling out. Your nephew should also have consulted you about the costs of his toy so that it was not a big thing. in other words if he had known he could not spend more than x dollars and that you did not want him asking your nephew for help he would have found the toy with the right price and also you would have given him a great lession in how to stay within a budget.
stand the different costs and could be he thought that your nephew would help him out on it, its best to prepare a child that young first, tell him he can buy any toy that costs less than the gift money then if he takes something out that costs more you gently tell him he must put it back and find something he can afford. this way you do not shame him or hurt his feelings with your long bawling out. Your nephew should also have consulted you about the costs of his toy so that it was not a big thing. in other words if he had known he could not spend more than x dollars and that you did not want him asking your nephew for help he would have found the toy with the right price and also you would have given him a great lession in how to stay within a budget.@eshaan (6188)
• India
28 Dec 09
Hi Hatley..i had asked him what he has to buy and does he know how much it costs...at home he told me the price which was well in his budget...so i allowed him..he said he has already seen the toy ....but when he went there..the item was not available and then they started moving to different shops and my nephew also couldn't say much as he also gave him concession of the day being his b'day
@icash2009 (61)
• China
28 Dec 09
Toy is necessary for the children,but it is a big deal to determine how much a child should have.The first standard to consider it is the toy is good to the growing or not.But the growing of our child is just not the children's own,it is the big thing for all members of a family.
@snowstormz (220)
• Australia
28 Dec 09
Hi there! I think you have the right to scold him because he's your son and you need to teach him what is right and what isn't so he wouldn't do the same mistakes again. As a mother, you did the right thing though after he has learnt his lesson, he can go back to enjoying his birthday :)
@manchester533 (1)
• United States
28 Dec 09
i tink the right is that according to your situation what the first thougth comesinto your mind
@Ambitiouslyleiah (591)
• United States
27 Dec 09
you were right to scold him. everyday is okay to teach manners. You have to be a parent no matter what day it is, right?
