When do you consider to be the best age to get married?
By Rock_Me_In
@Rock_Me_In (400)
India
December 27, 2009 1:46pm CST
I'm a 21 years old male.
When I was 20 years old still doing my studies I got a marriage proposal from my dad's friend. My dad had immediatly refused that proposal. My dad narated me the whole story in a motto to tease me. He was surely successfull in that my friends. But I wasn't much satisfied with it. I don't have an earning. Nor does my dad've a penny saved for me that if I marry someone I could atleast pay for my wife's food and clothing. Neither have I completed my studies.
But Without having any of these qualifications how does a guy ask me as the bridegroom. And the fact was the girl was only 18. Is this an age to get married? Cha. I felt really bad. The girl won't be having any freedom in her home I believe. Its not an age for either of us to be matured. Knowing all this how could an educated parent ask for his girl's marriage.
Isn't it a shame? What's your comment upon this my friends?
1 person likes this
19 responses
@nemrac12 (388)
• Philippines
28 Dec 09
The best age for getting married is 25 years old , both for men and women. At this age both parties are matured already, should have stable job and must have already savings. Would you believe , i got married at the age of 36? and my hubby age 37? We are both really matured and have stable job.. At least we have 2 kids now... Im happy and contented. What country are you? In my hometown philipines, in getting married , it is the decision of a woman and a man, no parents involve...
1 person likes this
@fsll518 (304)
• China
28 Dec 09
I think it depends on culture environment, maybe in Asian cultures, it is common that people marry young. (You think "I'll get mature and then marry", but the older generation thinks "You get married, and then get mature")
Why does he propose to you? I think you shouldn't fee irritated at all. At least they believe you are a good guy, that's why they want to entrust their daughter to you. Of course, it is your choice to say Yes or No.
Maybe they think you'll be successful in the future and be able to afford the whole family, etc. Maybe like in stock market, they believe you are a "blue chip" :P
Good luck and hope you don't feel bad anymore.
1 person likes this
@angelsmummy (1696)
•
27 Dec 09
I am 21 I have 2 children and I am getting married in 6 weeks. Age doesnt mattert what matters is love.
Love is the key to marriage if you havent got love then marriage isnt going to work! Its not your dads decsion for you to marry or not to marry ots your choice!
@angelsmummy (1696)
•
28 Dec 09
I understand what you are saying yes that is right a marriage needs other thngs besides love but I beleive its the key ingriedient! WHic is what we both have said.
That is true about considering both parties I didnt even think about that at the time of writing this! I am quite lucky as my partner does understand self-sacrifice and responsibility and so do I, well you have to when you have children! Finacial support is another major factor, since the start of this recession the rate of divorce has risen very rapidlly which shows that love isnt everything.
Really one in two marriages end in divorce in the US?! Wow I never knew that! I wasnt saying that just love is needed. I did make it seem that way. As you can see this is the main body of what I was saying below, yes it does imply that love is needed but I also said it was the key and without it the marriage wouldnt work.
Age doesnt matter what matters is love. Love is the key to marriage if you havent got love then marriage isnt going to work!
I do have a tendancy to just think about western culture as I have never travelled anywhere so thats all I know I understand that other countries parents do pick the husband or wife for their children.
@karthi_88 (299)
• India
28 Dec 09
great friend now itself you started getting proposal.marriage is to show others that you are already engaged with someone and to say others that no more proposal.
we cant say when we start to love some one.love doesn't know age limits friend.
age doesn't matters in marriage.you should have the capacity to run a family,you should have some earning so that you can manage your life.only people at the age more than twenty can earn earn money? no if you are talented you can earn from fifteen years.why i am saying fifteen years means if you work for part time also you need some maturity right :).now itself you started getting proposal i feel petty of your girl,poor girl:)
@sailajasayani (64)
• India
28 Dec 09
Hi,
I guess your dad's friend must have liked you.Before you get comitted to any other girl in future, he wanted to remind you of his daughter.I dont think his intentions were wrong but maybe he must have been impressed with you which made him worried that he might lose you. as you grow old.Maybe his asking for marriage proposal was an emotional /hasty attempt and not to disgust you.Infact most of us agree that your dad's friend was wrong.
21 is not a proper age to get married actually.At this age,majority of the people are usually not matured enough to distinguish between infactuation,physical attraction, obsession,liking a person and love.They think all are same.With age and exposure to life, we will learn to distinguish between them.I think 23-24 years is right age to take marriage decisions and also to decide when to get married.But if you happen to be truly and deeply in love with someone,then age wouldn't matter actually.
Thanks
Sailaja
@meetpriyakumari (30)
• India
28 Dec 09
But some people say that marriage and love see no age. What do you have to say about that. Do they have to see the age or the time when they find each other?
@cobradene (1171)
• India
28 Dec 09
This happens a lot usually with Bihari communities. I have noticed this also, and I feel really sick with people who start thinking about marriage for their sons who have just started graduating.
And, it's worse for the girls, as they have no freedom to think about their lives. The right age to marry is when the individual feels right. But that doesn't happen in India. The minute a man has a job, and the woman is old enough to beget children, they should get married. Then, they keep pestering and asking all sorts of questions, "When is he getting married?" "When is she getting married?" And all sorts of questions.
Ideally, in the present age, both man and woman should be given a right, a liberty to choose their time, when they feel comfortable, and not push them and force them. Our Indian society, forces people into bridal knots, just like cows and buffaloes.
@Galena (9110)
•
28 Dec 09
I don't think it's about how old you are. it's about whether or not you're in love.
however even if you are in love, I do think 21 is rather too young to get married, and 18 definitely so.
not that some marriages don't work at those ages, but there's a lot of growing up still to happen at those ages, and you can change a lot as a person.
but it's love rather than age that matters in marriage
@benny128 (3615)
•
28 Dec 09
Its got nothing at all to do with age and it shouldn't really have anything to do with parents either
it should all be down to maturity do you feel you are mature enough and is the other person as people mature at different rates.
Also are you in the financial position to pay for the wedding etc etc and to set up home together
and of course to love and do you know the person well enough to marry them.
Only you know the answers to this question.
Only you can really make the decision not your parents but you.
@vinslounge (1295)
• India
28 Dec 09
The right age for getting married varies from people to people. It all depends upon your maturity, the position and how settled are you in your life. Taken into consideration all these things, we must decide upon the right age for marriage. Arrange marriage is the ususal stuff that is being practised in my countrya nd from my view the tright age for marriage for a guy is around 25 and girl is around 23 since it is the age where the actual joy of marriage could be felt and you can grwo upon with maturity. Have a great day and happy Mylotting. Cheers:-()
@Craicha (801)
•
28 Dec 09
i think for the guy his 30 and the lady is 25 yrs old...this age i think is matured enough to be ready in dealing a family..coz marriage its nah just a joke but lots obligation to make especially if children starts to come in...and of course the important that you both are financially stable.....
@wandry (72)
• Indonesia
28 Dec 09
i think that to early and too young friend especially for the girl, because she already grow up and not really matured yet. And for you, i think male must provide the wife with good life and better future, are you ready yet to lead your wife and act as a leader in your family.
I also didn't married yet right know and i am 25 years old. I still make and build progress with my girl to better future. Maybe the first reason is that financial, i am already on my way to reach this goal and supported with my girl, and the most important is the relationship between you and your couple, how strong your relationship are? You should know each other each character, so you'll prepare when you have live together.
I think that from me friend.
@sweetbali4you (359)
• India
28 Dec 09
HI ROCK,
my mom always says that the best age of marriage is last 25.because in this age we have mentally or physically prepared for marriage and we understand our married life and family responsibilities and we also enjoyed our life before marriage.
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
28 Dec 09
for me its not in the age, If you think you and your partner are both ready to get into marriage life then why not? if one of you are stable to provide your needs then nothing's wrong with getting married, but just be ready to face the consequence. but hey, are you saying that the girl aren't you gf? how this could be?
@happythoughts (4109)
• United States
27 Dec 09
Was married at 20, one month after I turned 20. It was the right age for me but that does not mean it is the right age for everyone. I think that should be up to you to decide when the right time is for you. You dont need to have a lot of money to be happy, but you need to be able to live.
@buping (952)
• China
28 Dec 09
hi there, i am a 24 years old girl, i am hurry to get into marriage, but if my boyfriend proposed to me, i think i would be glad to be married. so what i think is that 24-28 to be the best age to get married to a girl. i live in china, and i think most girls in china have the same idea. to man, there is not a suitable age to get married, as he can support a family, it is ok to get married at any age, now matter how old he is, but can not be too young.
@ramos7881 (344)
• United States
27 Dec 09
I don't think age necessarily matters, I think it is how mature each of you are. With that said though, I think most people should wait until they are finished with their studies so that earning a living and finances won't be such a big deal in the marriage. Don't get me wrong - finances and how each individual in the marriage handles them is a part of a marriage, but I feel that the issue wouldn't be as big if at least one of the partners came into the marriage with a decent way to earn income, after that it is management of the income that causes the marital arguments, and of course, that is where maturity and responsibility comes in.
In addition to all of that, being more mature and having made it through your studies also means you are more likely to know who you are, what you want out of life, and will allow you to identify a partner who is "on the same page" as far as values and beliefs that you have cultivated as part of the maturing process.
@maria1081 (1251)
• Philippines
28 Dec 09
In marriage oftentimes age doesn't matter as long as both of you are prepared emotionally, financially and spritually. But if the couple wanted to have children, the bride must be at least 40 years old and below since it would be difficult to bear children at older age.
@zjonier (39)
• China
28 Dec 09
The age is not a matter,only you and your future husband are mature and have economic foundation.After all ,you will face two families and you will have your own baby after marriage.I think if you can afford this,you can marry.
