Are you hyphenated?

@mommyboo (13174)
United States
December 27, 2009 5:11pm CST
These days this is rampant...everywhere. You know you've heard it....and I'm not just talking about Mrs. Jones-Rasmussen. I'm talking about 'Irish-American', or someone who says 'I was born in England but I moved here, so I am considered English-Indian (they moved to India). Actually I'm talking about both. I'll be perfectly clear, I took my husband's last name and would never do anything BUT that. I have no desire whatsover to tie myself to anything I was before I got married. I am also AMERICAN, nothing else. So.... are YOU hyphenated? Why? I doubt I can find any good reason for either of those things. Convince me.
1 person likes this
14 responses
• United States
27 Dec 09
No, I'm not half of anybody, I'm me, 100% whole and not part of anything in particular.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
28 Dec 09
Me too. I don't get the people who have to label everything. I thought we were all moved past that as a society but apparently not. I think it's like taking a step back to a time when civil rights were just 'a dream' and women didn't even have the same opportunites to get an education, get a job, and have kids without a man....
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
27 Dec 09
As far as my name goes, no, I'm not hyphenated. I took my husband's last name and that is part of who I am now. I do, however, recognize my roots in certain conversations. My husband's family is Italian...very Italian. I have Irish, English and German blood so I don't hyphenate anything, but I do acknowledge my ancestry from time to time.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
28 Dec 09
Acknowledging is not the same as calling yourself x-hyphen-x. Some people think this is politically correct, I think it is divisive and nearly discriminatory lol. I had a friend who got married, and AFTER her new MIL had written out a check to them together, she explained that she was not changing her name. Since it was written to Mr. and Mrs. Newlastname, the MIL was really mad that she had to rip up the check and write it again lol. THen when their son was born, they decided to hyphenate HIS name, so she was A.F., hubby was L.W., and son was C.F-W LOL! Poor kid...
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
28 Dec 09
Hi mommyboo. As far as my nationality goes, yes, I guess you can say it is hyphenated. Though it's not just hyphenated, it's triple hyphenated. LOL I'm Irish, Filipino, and Native American so I'm mixed with a few different things. However, when it comes down to it I'm an American (born and raised in the USA). I took my husband's last name when we got married. I was never into hyphenating it. Well, maybe on a social networking site or something like that, but not when it comes to the important things like my marriage license, driver's license, SS card, etc. It's just my husband's last name. Shoot, the two don't go together well anyway, so it's just as well it's not hyphenated. LOL Happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
@fwidman (11514)
• United States
28 Dec 09
No hyphens here, nor would I want them I am Irish, German and Polish. Too many hyphens for me
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
28 Dec 09
LOL! That would be a little bulky... and then the shoes wouldn't fit.
• United States
28 Dec 09
I hate those hyphenated groups! myself I am a native American native meaning born and raised right here in the USA I dont care what your heritage is, if you are born in America then you are AMERICAN and as far as my name goes I feel the same way I am not going to forget who I came from just because I change last names there is NO hyphen in my name
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
28 Dec 09
I love you I really love you lol. It is very refreshing to see someone who words how they feel as strongly as I do. I can't even imagine hyphenating my name if for instance I was known in the past by it because of my career or something. I would just change it anyway and fie on anybody who didn't understand. Maybe I just don't have the whole pomp and circumstance thing goin on - you know I've heard people say things like 'I got my degree with that name' or 'I'm a doctor and that's how everybody knows me'. I don't care, they can get used to a new name lol.
• United States
28 Dec 09
I wish I was hyphenated. My last name sounds German/French, but it comes from my Dad who is from Jamaica. I dunno what happened there man lol
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
28 Dec 09
That's funny! My original last name was Dutch - but *I* am not Dutch... so it was funny seeing people try to compute what I look like with my name. My last name now is very.... I dunno. I guess I'd call it whitebread and common lol. I like it, it raises no eyebrows and nobody has any assumptions about me when they hear my name. I have done some loose research seeing how people react to different names without seeing people, and it's true that many people will create assumptions BEFORE they meet the person based on the name. Unfortunate but true...
@Galena (9110)
28 Dec 09
yes, my surname is hyphenated. I have lots of good reasons for doing this. first off. I really like my surname. it's an unusual one, and his is much more common. second. in my family this whole generation are girls. so unless we keep our surname, this branch of it is gone. so not only do I keep it, If I have children, I'm passing on the hyphenated name so it carries on a little further third. his family treated me very badly when he was ill. I am not one of them. fourth. this is a modern world, and if a woman wants to keep her name and not change it at all, she can, if she wants to hyphenate she can, if both want to hyphenate they can, if he wants to change his surname to hers, he can, and if she wants to change her surname to his, she can. all these are choices, and all valid. these are good enough reasons for me. I like my hyphenated name better than just his on its own. to me hyphenation seems more symbolic of two becoming one at marriage than one person giving up their name for the others.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
28 Dec 09
I think a lot has to do with pride in one's ancestral culture..one's roots. There really is no such thing as an American, unless of course you have Native American blood in you (which I do have part). Yes I consider myself "American" but I'm also proud of the various ethnic cultures I belong to (and it's a whopper)--German, Dutch, French, Spanish, Irish, Scottish, English and Welsh--it's due to my ethnic background that I'm a history buff and have read up into those various cultures to understand them better, and in turn, gives a glimpse of understanding myself better--oh and have also done an extensive search into my family tree
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
28 Dec 09
It has been my unfortunate experience that people will judge or label based on what you say you are, or even just what you appear to be from their standpoint. I do not ever allow another person to try and 'label' me anything, and I have from time to time made a strong comment about it - clearly discouraging them from attempting it again. Pride is an individual thing, it is probably just as disconcerting to have someone IGNORE your pride as it is to have someone assume you associate yourself with a particular 'group' if you don't. Basically it just bothers me that people like to label with a vengeance and assume things without finding out first what the person thinks of it... It's hard to explain to someone who IS highly cultural, because I'm just not. I'm not sure I know how to be lol.
@sconibear (8016)
• United States
28 Dec 09
I'm a quarter Polar, a quarter Grizzly, a quarter Kodiak, an eighth Koala, and an eighth Panda on my great grandmother's side. But that's WAY too many hyphens, so I just go by Great American Mutt-Bear.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
28 Dec 09
That would be funny, Sconi lol. The bear with the most hyphens. Is that something like 'the man with the big sack'? The red suited one oh you of dirty mind lol.
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
28 Dec 09
NO...I don't believe in being hyphenated either!!! I lived through the days that hyphenating your name when you got married was the most popular & I didn't believe in it then & I sure don't believe in it now!!! I was told that if I took my husband's name, I'd lose my identity. I feel you CANNOT lost your identity without just giving it away!!! My identity is ME & MY personality NOT my last name!!! If I was not willing to take my husband's last name, why would I marry him??? I feel that if you can't feel comfortable wearing his name, then you don't have complete love & trust & more than likely shouldn't be getting married. Now that I've said that...my doctor had completed medical school & started her own medical practice when she got married. So, she chose to hyphenate her name as her maiden name was the name of her practice. It would have meant a major change in the name of her business plus stationery, business cards, etc. She used the hyphenated name for several years until her patients became comfortable with her new name & then she dropped the hyphenation & took his name & chose to change the name of her practice also. This made sense to me. Had she married him right out of school before she had established her practice, I feel she should have just taken his name. My nephew recently married & his wife chose to keep her maiden name. I feel this is wrong, but it is their choice. Personally, I don't think the marriage will last, but they seem to be very happy for now. I don't say anything to them simply because it is NONE of my business. I just hope to live long enough to see the outcome. I, too, am an AMERICAN & dayum PROUD to be one!!! If asked I'll admit that I'm of Irish, English, German & Cherokee Indian decent...ALL of which I'm proud of!!! However, I'm FIRST & FOREMOST AMERICAN!!! I think that if I moved to another country I'd proclaim myself to be an American until I decided I wanted to live there permanently. Then I'd proclaim to be a member of the country WITHOUT the hyphenation. I'd insist my children claim their allegiance to the country they were born in. Just because I was born in America, it doesn't make my children American-(whatever) anything. They would be born a citizen of whatever country they were born in NOT part of the country I was born in!!! I worked with a lady that had dual citizenship with the US & Ireland. She worked hard to hold citizenship in both countries. Of course, she took whatever privilege of each country that benefited her most. You asked to be convinced why hyphenation is a good thing & I CAN'T THINK OF ONE REASON!!! It will be interesting to see the responses here!!!
@tuyakiki (3016)
• India
28 Dec 09
Thanks for sharing your views and ideas.. In my place names are not taken in that ways and so,I am also not hyphenated.Those names are very strange and also pronunciated in a different way and which sounds very funny sometimes...in a My name consisted of two words,one is my name and another is my surname.I think,its better to take a short name because then it becomes easy to fill your name up in any application form.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
28 Dec 09
LOL! Well, it helps that I have an easy name - my first and last name are both easy to spell and pronounce - or they SHOULD be. Before I was married, people could neither pronounce or spell my name, and that was a constant frustration for me. It was also always last in a list due to the first letter....
@LiveLove (443)
• United States
28 Dec 09
I don't have a hyphenated last name. I am also okay with being considered "Black" although sometimes people assume that I'm Indian . My ancestors include the following: African, Cherokee, Cresnaw (misspelling?), French, and German and that is through as far as we can go with my family tree. Something that does sadden me was that I went into a class one day and on the board was "American = White". I understand that since the international students weren't born in the US then they would have to be naturalized to become American but if those students really believe what was written on the board then in their minds they can never truly be American and that is sad. I see the hyphen as indicative of roots, much like what previous posters were saying but everyone is technically hyphenated since no one was actually originally from the pre-U.S. country (lots of migration), so it would probably be best to remove the hyphen since everyone in the US are on a even playing field.
@jb78000 (15139)
28 Dec 09
well i am not american and have no hyphens. i think a lot of americans are very interested/proud of their ancestry and this is the reason for it, part of their identity is the background. my background consists simply of rabbits (and possibly a hare on my mother's side) so it is not really relevant.
@jb78000 (15139)
28 Dec 09
no
@jb78000 (15139)
28 Dec 09
gifted-rabbit
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
31 Dec 09
Nope, I am not hyphenated. However, I can think of one reason that I could have been if I would have in fact gone through medical school. When you go to medical school and you get your M.D. the name that is on your M.D. cannot be changed. Therefore if I would have gone to medical school and graduated and then got married later, I would have only had two choices, one would have been to keep my maiden name and the other would have been to hypenate my name for social purposes. I would have chosen to hypenate my name to make it easier on my future children.