To delete or not delete, that is THE question....

Well, stalking friends is a different animal than a 'stalker' in general. Stalkers are creepy, unwanted paparazzi type followers who serve no purpose but to annoy, frustrate, and scare a normal individual. They profess undying love and/or devotion, ply the individual with gifts, take incriminating photos, and send creepy letters, emails, texts, or phone calls detailing what they will do when they get the person alone. They are rarely dissuaded by threats of police, security officers, or restraining orders.... One thing about those repeat discussions - there are times when I attempt to search for a discussion or topic to see if there are already discussions about it,and when I find no such thing, I will start one. Sometimes AFTERwards, underneath my new discussion are a slew of 'relateds' which NOW show up! I think these discussions should show up as 'related' BEFORE I post a discussion. I think the search function is not working up to speed. I agree that if someone gets a negative rating, I think it should show the name of the user who rated it down... that would definitely put it right out there in the open for all to see! No more schneaky deaky trollish negative ratings! If you do it, you get to shine for all of mylot to see!

Did you see that rubbish last night with a newbie accusing members of being antagonistic because someone had just been so rude to her on one of the other 20 discussions she'd started that day? Went in to see and it was complete Bol*ocks, but there were others jumping on the bandwagon without reading the original harmless comment. Actually that's the sort of rubbish which should be deleted as it causes trouble and is just made up for attention.

Hello, Thea guilty of stalking, but not trolling. It took me about 2 days to go down, and 3 months to get back again, so something's wrong somewhere. And have you noticed, a lot of those who start the 'breakfast, coffee, pizza, ice cream' discussions have an 8 or 9 star? WTF?

Excellent response, Sandra. I'm wondering if some of it didn't happen due to the double earnings day. I'd seen some members caution that they were concerned there might be a lot of 'worthless' and 'inane' discussions started that day by people who were trying to take advantage, and perhaps that's partly what happened. I'm not sure. I posted some on the 22nd, but I don't think it was more than normal, and I still only answered what looked interesting to me, commented back on things I had started in the last day or so, etc. I had posted in response to a discussion about bugs that I feel if it takes 100 positive rates from users to bump your rating up one number, it should also take at LEAST 100 negative ratings from users to bump your rating down one number. I do not feel it is at all decent or fair to have negative ratings affect one much more harshly than positives bring you back up. I also thought it was odd that there was a cap for positive ratings, when in fact there ought to only be a cap for negative ratings. Why punish people who 99% of the time rate positively the way it was designed to be used? I'd rather just not rate at ALL instead of rate negatively - unless the discussion or response was REALLY not productive, made NO sense, and the poster got abusive if those things were pointed out. One thing though, I do not take well to posters who come here and act like they are God or king of the world, and on occasion I have said something directly to those posters, causing them to cry and whine that I am being abusive. I don't think telling someone they are way too big for their britches and they need to deflate their swollen ego is being abusive, it's taking them down a notch because they need it lol. As long as steps are taken to make it much harder for real trolls or people who try to act like victims whenever possible, this site will stay friendly for those of us who like the interaction and fun.

I'm with you on that. There are several people on here who are so condescending, and sometimes just totally out of their tree, that you just can't walk on by. But I always take them down politely, then find I get abused back, as they throw their rattle out of the pram. THEN I'll report, especially if my friends are on the receiving end. I start of slightly sarcastic and work my way up to full rottweiller mode in stages. It usually works.

Hello there Rottie, I've just replied to you in the wrong box. Now question my dear, with you, Lamby and the rabbit around all standing up as you do, why am I labelled the scarey one?

No, it's not necessarily about me. What CAN be and IS frustrating is if you post in various discussions and then you go back to 'discussions I've responded to' and sometimes you don't see some of them. You lose what you would have earned or earned - as well as the responses themselves - if any discussion you posted in went caput. I oppose people all the time. Unlike SOME people, I do not believe that in itself is EVER grounds for someone to rate me negatively OR report me, OR try to get me to shut up or delete my discussion. If someone did something along those lines, I would think they were a very disrespectful, rude, and immature person who couldn't deal with a plain difference of opinion and were so insecure that they didn't want another view out there in case it 'converted' other people so they no longer agreed with them lol. I have been attacked a couple of times but usually it's someone who has already come unglued on others, or plain and simple - a real troll whose main objective is just to piss off everybody, equal opportunity. The biggest thing that offends me is people who are equal to me trying to pull rank. That's all. I don't appreciate any user here telling another user how or how not to do something, or using their own interpretations of things to state as FACTS. It's not a fact, it's how THEY see things. That's all. As long as it is phrased 'this is only MY opinion', then it's fine. Saying 'this is fact' is a blatant lie and I will do whatever I can to blow anything like that wide open so that new people are not misled or told to believe someone who really knows nothing.

Mommyboo, I can understand your frustration if the information being given is incomplete or incorrect. If a more experienced user is trying to help a newer user understand the guidelines and TOS of the site, however, how would that be a bad thing? A lot of what you are speaking about is being addressed by GoAskAlice in her discussion regarding discussions, interest categories, leaderboards and notifications. This is another quote by her from response #4 in that discussion: "I've also noticed that there are some wonderful members here who try to guide the users who might be going down the wrong path to the right path. Members helping members is probably the most productive way to tackle this." If a representative from myLot is stating that users helping and guiding other users is a good thing and the right way to handle these types of situations, then who are we to judge them?

Mommyboo, just as you have not encountered the onslaught of repeat discussions in just one page of an interest, I have never encountered more experienced users ganging up on a newer user. I guess that proves that each person's experience on here is different. When viewed in that light, however, I can understand your frustration, especially if it chases away newer users - that is not beneficial to the site. I was fortunately enough when I was a newer user to have encountered more experienced users that gave me a few pointers on how to improve my experience on the site and get more interaction in discussions - not necessarily more responses to my own discussions, although that did come over time, but more back and forth in discussions that I responded to, which made my interactions on here a lot more fun. They were not rude nor did they tell me that I had to do it any particular way. Instead, they just gave me a few suggestions on things that had worked for them in the past, so that I would have more options and hopefully a better understanding of the site. That is the kind of guidance that I am talking about, and that is what I try to give to newer users, since it helped me out when I was new to the site.

It just seemed that recently, somebody was targetted because of an assumption and not because they actually posted anything that was against the ToS. That is what led to me being suspicious that either there were spiteful users reporting the person, or someone in admin who 'had it out' for that person. I have no actual proof of either thing happening, but cirumstances led me to believe it could only be one of those two things. I don't know why, to make a long story short there was a discussion - with nothing bad in it - and then it was gone, the person posted responses in a few discussion, THOSE discussions disappeared, and shortly after that the person couldn't post any more. We all know that actual TROLLS will continue to come back and keep being nasty as many times as they can. If a user runs into trouble and then comes back and wants to post, I believe they have every right to be treated as everybody else - UNTIL such time as they post something bad. Just to 'evict' them again without any burden of proof is harsh and I do not believe 'in the spirit of mylot'..... I've actually seen or heard of this happening more than once, I don't know why, but MORE than once is a yellow flag. Doesn't this bother anybody else?

yeah its mylot that ultimately decides so there is no harm in reporting discussions that you think are againist the terms and conditions as if they aren't mylot won't delete it if they are then mylot will delete it so no real issue to be honest and I will never rate negatively just like to adhere to mylot and they ask us to be vigilant it also means if discussions which are not appropiate get deleted people will think twice about posting things which go againist the rules, Where as if they never get deleted people will continue to post them as they know nothing will be done about them.

I also leave responses if I think that a member has violated the guidelines or TOS, but I do not always report them, especially if it is a newer user. I always report people that have plagiarized material either off the Internet or this site specifically, but I do not leave a response when I do, because they obviously know that they copied and pasted the material from another source. That is stealing, and it is illegal. Benny, you are right that not only does myLot ask us to report things that we think are violations but also they are the ones that decide whether or not it really is a violation not us.

You know, I have never even thought about negatively rating the ones that I report for plagiarizing, although I do think that those are the ones that deserve to be negatively rated, especially when I can provide the link to the original article (which is the only time that I will ever report for plagiarizing, by the way). I guess that I just figured that myLot would suspend or delete their account if they continued to steal other people's work, so I never felt the need to negatively rate them.

I don't think it would be happening as often if users minded their own business. I'm not talking about NOT reporting things like troll behavior, stalking (the bad kind), or total spam and discussions that don't make any sense and aren't readable, but aside from that, why worry about it? I see discussions related to earnings all the time, and I hardly ever see any of them deleted. I answer some of them occasionally. I also think that while admin deletes some things on their own, they DO count on reports from users, so with the trickle down effect, some things ARE only getting deleted because users are 'tattling' on other users. I don't even tolerate tattling from my kids - or OTHER kids. I think it is pretty low for kids to tattle on each other and lower than that for ADULTS to tattle on each other. As far as kids, that means they ALL get punished, and usually they learn just NOT to do it at all. Then there is peace.... I mean, even the average nasty troll takes awhile to be stopped, and that's after multiple reports from the users they are attacking. It's fishy when someone who isn't a troll has things deleted and there's nothing in the posts that raises any flags.

In response #4 on the Admin For A Day discussion regarding discussions, interest categories, leaderboards and notifications, GoAskAlice says (and I quote): "What's your favorite color" or "I'll start a story and you keep it going" or "Do you buy socks" type discussions "should be reported and deleted. They qualify as poll or game discussions and they add no value to our community." MyLot not only asks us to report these type discussions but encourages and wants us to report them, because myLot feels that they are of no value to the site or this community. Therefore, Mommyboo, I am not sure why you would object to other users doing what myLot asks them to do. You do not have to do it, but surely you cannot condemn others for following the rules and doing what they are asked, especially since they are helping to make the site sustainable for all the users.

Honestly, I do not go about looking for these discussions either. I like to respond to discussions in my "friends started" tab, but sometimes I am in the mood to respond to things from other users related to some of my interests. That is where I run into these types of discussions. If it were just one or two, then I am sure that I would not notice it just as you don't. However, when I open an interest category and almost the exact same discussion is repeated no less than three times in the first two pages, it is rather difficult to overlook. I respect your point of view and your right to not report these things, especially since you do not encounter them very often. I also appreciate the fact that you have stated that you do not think that I am one of the ones that goes around reporting out of spite. That is true, and I would much rather engage in some playful banter or have an intelligent debate on an issue (such as the one we are having here) than report people for trivial things. I have fun with the first two but take no pleasure in the latter one. However, I do think that there are legitimate reasons to report discussions or responses, and not everyone that reports is doing it out of spite or just to be nasty. In fact, I really like the fact that you agree to respectfully disagree. I think that we have once again just proven that people can not only disagree in a respectful manner but also acknowledge the valid points in the other person's view.

I remember this one case where someone was constantly copying & pasting as soon as he reached 500. Someone told him to stop because it was a violation of the myLot guidelines, & that he'd get banned for it. He then said that he understood, but just kept doing it. He probably logged in to find that his account was canceled.

I can think of a discussion recently where the person didn't get it.... but I suppose they wouldn't lol. I decided I was done trying with that one and I won't post in their discussions because many of them I had seen were very much 'victim mentality' type of discussions. Can't fix that.... have you ever heard 'can't cure stupid'? LOL! At least with ignorance someone can gain knowledge. I indeed had horrific brain strain after that one. I do try to give benefit of the doubt but my doubt was run over by the obvious hehe!

I'm just not vindictive and into drama - I don't need to ruin somebody's day just because I CAN. I always think - just because you CAN, should you? There are lots of things that push the envelope of decency that people do without thinking about whether they should or whether they just do it because - by golly - if I wasn't supposed to do it, then it wouldn't be able to be done... blah blah blah. Wrong. Bad intentions are like the beginning of a natural disaster - you don't see it coming until it's too late to run.

totally agree with you there mr owl,

It is for the benefit of THOSE people which I wrote this discussion. I am not sure what possesses or convinces those people that they have the right to decide how others use mylot, or how it should be run, or how to perceive or interpret tos, etc but I gladly leave that up to the admin, and the ADMIN only. If they haven't come down on people, or specifically stated something in so many words, then personal interpretations are personal interpretations only and not for people to share with others as 'fact' or 'truth' lol. While I do believe people have the right to free speech, free speech doesn't mean people can act like admin and that it is acceptable lol. Censorship (and filters) are against my personal beliefs - SELF censorship - or controlling what enters your life is fine, but censoring other people is jacked up.

I wasn't trying to censor her discussion, but I am glad it's gone. She was sitting there stating what mylot is and isn't, and that was VERY VERY offensive to me, and I'm sure it was offensive to others if they saw it that way. I'm sorry she was getting rude messages from a guy but that is a personal matter, not something in which to get on a platform and spout what a site is here or not here for. This discussion didn't actually have anything to do with that one, but since you brought it up, there ya go. I told her I did not appreciate her acting like she was God, and it's not personal, I'd say the same to ANY user, even if they were my friend. She didn't get it, and she tried to say she wasn't acting like she was God... but when you say 'this site is only for this' and 'this site is NOT for that' blah blah, if you don't own the site, you have no right to say irritating and nonproductive things like that. YES I was irritated. I make no excuses nor do I pretend it was warm and fuzzy and nice.

Actually thinking about it mommyboo, you were trying to censor Jennys discussion when she was rather discreetly trying to say that a newbie was targetting women to send dodgy pms to by adding them as friends. She was very upset over what you said to her as you shouted at her. At least I think it was you. Then her discussion got deleted.

The site did offer a Christmas bonus - it was a double day on the 22nd It was actually a pretty cool thing for them to do because I'd never heard of them doing it before. I wonder if they'd give you a double day on your birthday ... lol!

You're telling me, I don't know why it always has to be just a few who ruin it for everybody. That seems to happen with so many things and you'd think that people would have figured out a better solution OH SUCH AS punishing ONLY the guilty people and NEVER the innocent! You punish the innocent enough just to get the guilty too and you have a lot of resentful innocent people who are now getting arrested for crimes against the guilty because they are FED up and decide to engage in vigilante justice lol.

I wish I didn't have to wonder if I've lost some posts because of the stupidity of other people but alas I do wonder that once in awhile. It would be better to just have the random stupid posts deleted, not a whole thread - at least most of the time lol.

Good. It's okay, the people who do negatively rate due to difference of opinion will never post in here, bullies are cowards and they don't have the guts to face anybody and tell them what they really think.

I have a very good friend whom I met here, and oddly enough, he and I disagreed about several different discussions. I mean we disagreed IN them, but still nevertheless became good friends. As far as the abusive thing, there are times when a user feels a particular DISCUSSION is abusive or offensive, so thus their response and those of others may reflect that feeling. In my opinion, it is not fair for the discussion starter to start whining about the posts they received in their thread - if they were INDEED kind of.... abusive or offensive in what they said originally. You need to remember that it could go both ways, so before climbing all over the reported person - look at what the other people involved did first to ensure you have the whole story. Many times I see reactions to things which are NORMAL reactions - to something else offensive! I'd much rather see the original person rebuffed and told not to start crap lol.

I can understand and agree with you on the fact that the original poster does not have a lot of room to talk or take offense if he or she gets some less than nice responses in a discussion where that they were offensive themselves. That is not the kind of abuse that I was referring to, though. I was talking about when a person starts a discussion about losing weight, for example, and then somebody responds to the discussion calling them nasty names based on the fact they are overweight. That would be abuse, in my opinion. That is the kind of thing that I think should be reported.

Though the population here looks big, the actual active lotters are only a handful. Everyday the same people seems to be crisscrossing each other paths and newbies leave as fast as they come in. Certainly some lotters are championing their own cause by sending complains to admin when they find little loopholes in the posts. The recent months have seen the increase of deleted posts here and the continuous deletion of posts would further reduce lotters in posting discussions. Creating discussions takes time and efforts and many feel demoralized when their posts get deleted for no good reasons. I hope the savior sent by admin to monitor our daily activities will be able to see the smooth running of this site and less people disappointed. They should be flexible and not rule with an iron fist. The high rate of members turnover will give this site an unfavorable reputation in social networking.

We as users can report things that we think are violations, but myLot is the determining factor on whether or not they think that they are violations. We users can't delete anything, and myLot does investigate reported violations before they decide whether or not something gets deleted. On the other hand, I think that some things that are deleted are not reported violations but things that myLot Admins have identified as violations and immediately deleted, since some things seem to disappear more quickly than others. I can't say for sure exactly how reported violations are handled, though, since I am not a member of myLot Admin.

Member turnover and loss of positive contributing longterm members are things that make me sad. I enjoy this site and honestly feel that you get what you put into it in return. If what you put into it is just a desire to make money and to be petty and silly and obnoxious, then you probably will not benefit from the best parts of this site, nor will you develop bonds with other people, which leads to a more rewarding experience here. I want this to be a good place for new members so they in turn can become longterm members. Some people will tell you this isn't a 'meeting place' and they are wrong. I have met some exceptionally wonderful people here, and it is because of the existence of this site that I met them.

Yeah - I remember we both went after someone who "stole" your discussion, but that was a good while ago.

Months and months ago....

I only report abusive behavior (like from trolls or wars against friends) or plaigarism as well. I wonder sometimes about how anybody could go around reporting other things, to me that seems like you'd have a lot of extra time to do that, and I don't. I'd rather spend the time I spend here contributing to discussions, either by responding or creating my own rather than looking for things that I don't like or that shouldn't be happening. I kind of chuckle about people who went nuts on the 22nd, I have found that I do better earning-wise if I find a discussion (or several) that I just post a lot in and enjoy. Trying too hard isn't really lucrative.....

Hmmm. If they have nothing better to do, I'll invite them over to do some housecleaning and laundry and all those things I don't like to do. It would keep them busy, out of trouble, and away from people, which are all on the list of things trollish people need to do/be

Are you talking about deleting or editing your own posts? We can't delete or edit our own posts.... and I'm not sure if you can ask admin to delete something you posted yourself either. I've never tried that.....

Now that's a bummer. I know that I can't edit or delete anything but it's always been that way. The only reason I would need to is if a discussion got posted before it was typed out entirely, but I haven't had that happen lol. Actually I did post one or two things before and THEN saw relateds listed UNDER my new one. I felt pretty dumb because I do usually do a search to see if someone else posted a discussion about the same thing. In cases like that I'll go post in those discussions and apologize that the search for relateds didn't work....

Mommyboo, at the moment you can't ask Admin to delete anything that you have done yourself. I know, because I have had one or two "DUH" moments when I have posted something and then realized that the answer to my question was obvious and wished that I could just ask for it to be deleted. Instead, I had to PM a friend and ask for them to report it and say that I asked for it to be deleted because I was an idiot, although I don't think they used exactly those words - lol!

Well jb, most of the time, the people with a personal gripe NEVER show up in discussions like this and actually ADMIT their cowardly and childish behavior. I mostly see responses from people who are clearly walking the fence, occasionally reporting people, or ones who just don't take part in that nonsense at all, either way, we are all in the realm of 'normal'. THe folks who are outside this realm of normal, well my hope is just to get them to SEE the discussion and perhaps to think about their contributions here, and maybe notice they aren't really as NICE as the contributions of other people. It's more just trying to plant a seed. Just IN CASE, I started this discussion to let those who MAY be engaging in vindictive reporting that their actions have NOT gone unnoticed....

LOL! I obviously have not been around as much, since I didn't see either of those discussions. I like what you said about diversity of topics and posts with substance, because I tend to look at a page or more of posts before I see something I want to answer. I prefer a discussion which is well thought out, more than two sentences, and it should make sense. I don't understand why some discussions are so poorly written yet they still get more than 20 responses.