Is it Ok for a guy to date someone 10 years younger then him? (~so confused)

d_e_v8l, This type of attraction in YOUR country is allowed as long as there isn't any laws broken. But,here in the US this type of attraction is strictly frowned upon by society b/c YOU knew her when she was just a child and YOU were a young adult! That says alot about your character right there my friend. My advise to U is to wait the five years an let her mature more into the woman she will become first.

This is probably the start of a beautiful relationship. JUST REMEMBER THAT SHE IS NOT LIKE EVERY OTHER WOMAN YOU HAVE KNOWN. I am yelling this at you because this is the main reason that the guy I loved dearly didn't work out. He was twelve years older than me, and like you his relationships with women his age did not work out. In fact he told me that a lot of women his age have major baggage. I know this is true, I meet a lot of women who I can't stand to be around because they whine, complain, nag, criticise, are selfish and catty and they act like babies. Don't underestimate her intelligence. My ex never listened to my imput because he thought of me as a child because he was older, even though he did some of the dumbest things I have ever seen anybody do in my life. As far as her finding someone else. If you love her and let her know that you love her, even if it just as someone you have known for a long time she will be loyal to you. It is every womans dream to meet her soulmate at the age she is now and fall in love and then stay in love for the rest of her life. I was 22 when I met my ex. And even though he treated me like crap because he had a similar trian of thought as you, I stayed. I can tell you for a fact that unless you get over your fear that is won't work. Unless you stop making excuses and judging her age as a negative thing then it won't work. You have to give her real r-e-s-p-e-c-t. Is she smart? Treat her like she is intelligent, not eightteen. Is she kind and considerate? Then treat her like she is kind and not like she is eightteen. Is she calm and easy to be with? Then treat her like you enjoy her company instead of treating her like she is eightteen. I hope that makes sense. Give her real respect and she will respect you. Give her loyalty and trust and she will give you loyalty and trust. If you don't want to do that then DON'T START ANY THING WITH HER!!!!!! The whole reason women have baggage is because the men in thier lives don't do what I just told you. Good luck, send me a message if you feel like my advice was good or you want some clarification. Women are not confusing, or unkowable.

My man and I met through friends. He's 8 years older than I am (22 and 30, we met at 21 and 28 almost 29) at first this was a little hard to swallow and then it was a little hard not to make jokes about his being a teenager in the 90s but after all that, I got used to it (save the odd teenager in the 90's joke) and now I love it and think it's very sexy to have an older man to take care of me.

I applaud you for considering her age and what that might mean as far as a relationship is considered. I don't think many men consider it the same way they you do and I think it shows maturity on your part. I feel that I can reassure you that the age difference between men and women don't seem as important when the man is older. There are several factors that seems to balance the situation. Yes, you have a point about this young lady maybe changing her mind and wanting to meet someone else later. That is a possibility. But usually women are extraordinary loyal when they feel that they have fallen in love with a man . They will happily dedicate themselves to that relationship and grow in it without feeling as if they need more experience in dating. This is more of a male oriented thought. Women are groomed in societies from the time they are young to be prepared for serious relationships. Having a successful relationship is important to women and they may have put more time into consciously thinking about it than a man even at a young age. Your best bet is to simply ask her how she feels. Her response will give you a clue to her emotional level and how mature she is. Her answer may surprise you as she has probably already thought about the age difference and came to a satisfied conclusion herself. If she has shown interest in you she probably is looking to be involved with a mature person. Good luck and I hope you get responses that will help you come to the best conclusion for yourself.

I don't think age is an issue, I mean at 18 I was already thinking about marriage. It's the feeling that counts most. If you feel she is perfect for you and you both feel happy when you are together, you wouldn't care about the age at all. About cheating, you weren't having that kind of relationship yet anyway so just chill dude. It's still a long way to go but good luck to you.

Well, I'll put it this way..... I am going to be 30 in 2 months and my husband of 9 years is going to be 40 the same month, as there are exactly 10 years between my husband and myself. I met my husband when I was 17, started dating him when I was 21, as he was previously married..., and we dated for 5 years before we got married, and are still togeather. Are friends are envious of our relationship, and we are still togeather and love each other just as much as we did then. I think if your gut feeling is to be with her, you should follow your instincts and let what is going to happen, happen.

As long as you haven't committed yourself, it's not cheating. If you like her, then it should be fine. Even I had developed interest in a girl 9 years younger to me, and she liked me very much as well, but we both knew from the beginning it was not going to work, so we just stayed friends. But, we always had the feeling, if we were destined we would have been great together. You can date, meet other women, to see if you find someone better, or compatible of your wavelength. Sometimes there could be a great difference in maturity levels and you could get the feeling like you are playing the role of a father instead of a lover or husband. Even I had that feeling with my friend, and that's why I could never move forward. Just wait and see how things go, and what she decides about her future, studies and career etc.. There is enough time in hand. So what if you marry her when you are 33? It's perfectly fine, as long as you two feel you make a good couple and share a good chemistry, and above all, tremendous love. Love is the motivating factor in all relationships.

wow! It seems like I watched this story from a movie...hmm..it's really confusing if you have uncertainties of the feelings of the girl you like...she's young and as you said earlier may bound to meet new people. I think you should tell her exactly the way you feel since you have a hint that she likes you too...but in a subtle way, maybe she will give you an answer if she will wait for you. besides, age doesn't matter and as early as now you should find the answer before it's too late...don't wait too long if you're confused right?

...Hi d_e_v81, People are attracted to other people for a variety of reasons. Usually it starts with the attraction between the two, then you find out you have things in common or there's a chemistry. Or all of the above at one time. Have you had any meaningful conversations with her, can the two of you talk about things that hold both your interests? You are very much more, or should be, mature than she would be at 18, she could be a very mature 18 year old, I don't know. But there has to be some common connection between you which will keep both your interests in order to develop a meaningful relationship. I would suggest that you date people in your age category. Give her a chance to mature and to learn who she is and what she wants to do with her life. The age gap of 10 years is a lot at 18 and 28 in my opinion. Let time take it and let her grow, she will be there, don't force the issue. Anything worth having I've been told is worth waiting for. Take care, have a very Happy New Year.

That would not be cheating to me by the way. You should do what you feel is best. You only live once my friend. don't let your happiness get away from you. She is of legal age and so are you.

Hi this is what fate is...You met her when she was 8,10 years later fell in love with her? wow... Age doesn't matter, you seems in love with each other and that's what matters. If you think you're doing the right and that's what you feel towards her, then You must stick to her. The other big factor is.. your both parents are close,this are very rare in the universe.stay happy in love friend. happy new year.

I posted a similar question last week regarding someone I am good friends with, who is much younger than I am. The difference in my case is that the women is 24. At 18 your friend is just really starting to become an adult. As most of us know, just because you are a legal adult doesn't mean you have the life experience to really be one. The maturity level in young adults increases dramatically between the time they go from 18 to their early 20's. If I were in your situation personally I would wait a while before persueing this. Like it or not, she more than likely still has a lot of growing up to do, and if you get serious now, you are far more likely to be the one getting hurt if things don't go well. I would stick with being friends and build your friendship first. In the long run the best relationships are built on a strong friendship.

Hi, I guess 10 years gap is absolutely okay.I have seen many couple where the age gap is 10 years and more as well and yet married and living happily now.Dont worry about that as long as you both love each other.You can go ahead in your relationship. Thanks Sailaja

I'm 22, and my Boyfriend is 32, 10 years in the difference of us as well, we are very happy with each other and things couldn't be better, we like to joke around with each other sayin what he was doing when he was 16 and i was 6, age is only a small factor in a relationship, it only becomes a big one if you let it be. As for waiting, you can't wait your life away, if she's not 100% into you yet, then the relationship probably wont last, as bad as that sounds, you both need to be positive on what you want.

An age difference of 10 years is nothing. You have middle aged but bachelor professors falling in love with their students and getting married and living happily ever after but what you say about knowing the mind properly is something about which few people are sure at all, even throughout their lives. Look around you and you’ll see so many couples ending in divorce…couples who seem perfectly made for each other, who were head over heals in love, for whom everything was perfect yet they could not continue the journey together. We are never sure of our own minds and how our mind will react in the future. You can of course give her time and its good that you want her to explore around a little and yes, for you dating another lady when you are clearly in love with this girl would indeed be cheating, both yourself and your girl. But since she’s very young, she has every right to look around and make up her mind and I congratulate you for having that mental strength to accept it. However, if she’s still sure about you then please go ahead and marry her and I wish you all the best.

Hi there, Well, the older you get, the more the age gap closes and becomes less of an issue. Ten years is not all that much. It really depends on the people. Had you began seeing her when she was much younger then it would have been illegal more than likely. At 18 she is considered an adult. As with any new relationship, you should take it slow and make sure it is what you both want. Best of luck to you!

Well you should do what you feel is tight in your heart.With that said though I must say that I had 18 yr old girl and she was my first I was twelve years older.She wa sone of the most mature persons Iever met in terms of her conversation but it didnt work out .I guess at that age she was just not ready for any major decisions.I dont regret though because she was a nice person

i do not think that age is problem to date between human and i ever seen someone dating one man who is as old as his grandfather.maybe sometimes we do not understand other's action or behavior but we can respect that. i think if the guy really love the one who 10 years younger than him. then just go ahead.

no its not right in view of culture.thanku

once i was also confused about my relationship with my husband. my husband is older than me by more than 10 years. i met him when i was 19, he was 32. all of my classmates said we were unfit and my husband parents didn't agree with us either. for i was studyng while he was working. they thought we were different, i was too young, that i may get changed in the future. but my husband insisted, he said he loved me and believed me ,so he waited for me for 4 years until i graduated. then we get marriede. so if you really love her and trust her love to you , just hold on. Do it! good luck to you !