How do you know that you raised them right, or how do you know your going ...?

hi somecowgirl I think that most parents know more than they ' think they do about how to raise good decent children into good' decent adults. I feel most have ideals and if they live them out in front of their children the children will grow up practicing these same ideals. parents must be good role models and be consistent taking life one day at a time. I instilled my good values into my son and he grew up a fine man. most parents really do do a g reat job.

Hi SCG! You asked so many questions (I think seven) and you could have started seven discussions with these questions.. The answer to your questions are that when we bring up our children we do set some ideals in our mind, however, when it comes to practical reality, our ideals do not turn out in the same manner, as we presume. We also try to instill moral values in our kids, as much as we can, however, there is no guarantee that they would abide by the morals in future. We (I and my better half) do not feel like punishing them, as we know that it can make them stubborn and rigid, we try to explain them the issues coolly and calmly. I mean to say that most of the parents try to bring up their children in best possible manner and see to it that they are provided with every possible and conceivable amenities in their lives. An Excellent Post! Deepak PS - HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!!!

I really don’t know how I am raising my son coz I am really confused a lot. For one thing, I don’t support the way I was bought up by my parents specially my mom who was so strict with me on all things that most of the time I was hiding things and incidents from her. I also grew up with a totally wrong view of myself and people and things and its after a lot of effort that I could really discover the ‘real me’ but by then the damage was more than done. So as far as my son is concerned, every time I take any step against him or judge him for his actions, my mind races back to my childhood and the treatment meted out tome. Now the problem is that I really don’t know if in doing so, I am actually crossing the line of responsible parenthood and venturing into the realms of over- indulgence which will ultimately by harmful to him in the long run!

Basically all I had to go by, was the example of my parents! I think they did a good job in raising us 9 kids, they did the best they could, with what they had, and that was good enough for me ! 1. Are you going to instill the same values, the same morals as you were instilled with? yes, they were good ones 2. Are you going to punish them the same way you were punished? yes, that is where I learned right from wrong! 3. Did they turn out the way you wanted them to? no, but I did the best I could, and they turned out different but they did at least turn out good! Basically, you never know how they each are going to turn out, but you still have to be optimistic about it, and do the best you can for their sake! And as long as you believe that you are raising them right, then you are doing the best in raising them right!

Hi cowgirl! I raised 4 kids who are kind, considerate, honest, hard working, loving and a whole bunch of other stuff. These are character traits that they learned from me, by example and by talking. My children were raised a little bit differently than I was raised because my parents weren't very demonstrative when it came to displays of affection or approval. I wanted my children to always feel my love and to always know that I was proud of them. I also wanted them to know that they could talk to me about anything, which helped a lot during their teen years. I punished them pretty much the way that I was punished as a child though since it seemed pretty effective as far as I was concerned.

For me all I know is that I am trying my best to raise my son right. But we all know that everything will be alright for as long as we have God with us. Nothing is definitely impossible and if we just put our efforts to work then everything will come to a point that we can only do our best to raise our kids right.

you know somecowgirl on my situation its kinda hard. i have 4 kids and 1 of them is a special child. im sure you know very well that some special child are just like explorer and even stubborn most of the time. there are times that i cant really avoid losing my temper so instead of hitting as punishment, id rather shout at them all to listen. although there's always one thing that i believe that im doing right to the other 3 who seems to be a little curious of the way i handle them whenever i get mad to my special child... its teaching them the words of God. im sure the moment they develop such faith on Him, they will for sure grow up a good person and will surely understand on what exactly is right and wrong. happy new year somecowgirl.

How do you know you raised them right? Here is my take. If you raised them right, it doesn't mean they think the same way you do, they may not believe the same things you do. If you raised them right, they are fulfilled and happy, they know how to accomplish what they want and need, and they prioritize according to what they want and need. They know HOW to choose right and wrong for themselves and WHY they choose what they do. They are confident and secure individuals who do not apologize for their opinions and views, rather they celebrate their individuality. They may not LIKE certain responsibilities but they learned how to do them and how to take care of themselves - on their own, so they do. They know how to give to and help others, but they also know when to say enough is enough and take care of themselves and their families. As a person - I have some different ideals and values than my parents. One thing I think they did exceedingly well was teach me independence and to have faith and trust in myself. They also instilled a good work ethic and also how to set goals, make sure they are attainable, and how important confidence and tenacity are. If you never quit, there are very very few things you cannot accomplish. I was raised religious and now I am not, so I do not raise my children with religion. I don't believe in spanking or physical punishment so I don't do that either. Punishment really depends on the kid - different things work for different kids. I would have honestly done much better with more freedom and promise of things I wanted to try to earn. As a kid I would have earned all sorts of things - if I'd been given the opportunity. One of my kids was good with this, one of them has no motivation and even if I told him he'd get something he wanted, he still wouldn't do HIS PART to earn it. Makes me want to beat my head on the wall lol.

We all have our own way of doing things and sometimes it's like it was for us and then other times it's not. I don't think there is any way of knowing except for being certain that you have taught them the things that were important to you. They often seem like they aren't listening but the truth is that even when they screw up, they remember your lessons. No one can be sure because there comes that moment when they make their own choices and decide the paths that they will go down. All we can do as parents is hope that we have given them the means to survive and be a good person. At the same time..if they choose not to be, we can't blame ourselves because ultimatly it is their choice as to who they want to be in life.

I really don't know. My kids are still young so I guess I still wouldn't know until they are old enough to fend for themselves, and make decisions for themselves. I did have ideals and values that I learned growing up, which I now try to instill with the kids. I am just crossing my fingers that if I continue whatever I am doing, they would turn out right.

i think the shortest way to put this is you raised them right because now they can stand on their own feet and continue to make chapters of their life. Along with the values and lessons you have thought them. Punishing or grounding children can also be good parenting but with limits. Values are always present and whatever the parent showed his child the child would also portray that. Be a good parent and your child will grow up to be one as well.

I am a mother of 1 daughter (2 years old), and i told myself that i will not use exactly the same upbringing as what my parents did to me. As much as i can, i don't want to resort to spanking, but rather, consistent and motherly reprimands. As my daughter grows up, i will always want to hear what she thinks or what's on her mind. Her voice, opinion, ideas count. I am making a conscious effort to raise her well, with high self-esteem, respect for not just for the elders but also for those younger than her. I want her to be sociable, confident and smart. I will instill the same values my parents instilled in me. I know i have the right approach and the right attitude towards my daughter because i can see she's showing good signs of values that i want her to have. What i am working on her right now is how to be sociable and not be too bashful.