General Question on relationship matters.

United States
December 31, 2009 3:25am CST
My friend and I have been debating all night about and I'm just looking for opinions on what you all think about this situation. Now my friend has been kind of seeing this girl for a few months now, but hasn't gotten much out her personality wise. He doesn't know much about her still because he claims she is too quiet. He also states some other complaints about how strict her parents are still and other things like her not being into going out partying and drinking. Now they have yet to make the relationship official because well he feels he doesn't know enough yet. However, in saying that he isn't making an attempt to know her better. Like for instance, today is New Years and she doesn't have any plans since New Years is a heavy drinking night. Now, he does like the girl from what I know. Wouldn't it be common sense instead of going out to drink, just to show he cares a little bit, to at least hang out with her and take her to dinner before he goes out to drink? Or maybe even take the chance and say hey, instead of going out drinking I'd prefer to spend the night with you watching a movie or just something like that to at least show a little feeling towards her? I on the one hand would find it more important to spend time with her and get to know her better and give up drinking for at least part of the night to show her how important she is while him on the other hand is just like hey she doesn't want to go out drinking then whatever her lose. In this situation what would you do and how would you handle it? The way my friend plans too? The way I would? Or if you got a different way then by all means spit it out? Remember to this girl doesn't like to drink meaning to she doesn't like being around it so bringing her to the party were there is booze at makes her uncomfortable. So have at it!
2 people like this
2 responses
miller1978
@miller1978 (1101)
• United States
31 Dec 09
Being a new relationship I would think that the guy would want to spend time with her and try to get to know her more otherwise this relationship in my perspective would be doomed already. Drinking may be important to some people that they spend time doing that instead of people they "like" or "love". If they've been dating for a few months now and he knows nothing of her personality, that's another problem I see right off the bat. What have they been doing all this time that he doesn't know? And it's good if her parents are strict in some things, because there's so many children and teens out there nowadays that is uncontrollable and wreaking havoc on other people's lives.
1 person likes this
skysuccess
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
1 Jan 10
nvdbball27, In a nutshell, everyone has their own prerogative - so to each and his/her own. Who is to say that your friend is wrong and that he will not have any headway with his girlfriend? Some people just do not want to give up their habits or change just for someone who just happens to "drop" in. In the first place, relationship is mutual exclusive and that there is just another school of thought where both parties should work to meet one another half way than one party giving in all the way. In today's world where women are no longer taking the backseat of things, do have their life too. So, let this be a lesson here that relationship does not mean that one has to go out of his/her way just to please the other party and that the world would change just because of him or her. Yes, she might not like to drink but she can always have a Cranberry juice or a Coke if she wants to understand her man. Likewise, he can decide if would want to be at his girlfriend's place for dinner and / or whatever she fancies. I mean wouldn't it be monotonous and superficial if everyone is giving in and changing just for someone's sake? Yes, the booze may be uncomfortable but I am sure the bar has other drinks in stock along with the good company that comes with it. Happy New Year and all the best for 2010.