How do you punish your kids?

I always don't agree in punishing the children, as I don't think punishment will make them better or let them behave nicer. It may be the opposite way too. All of us have been children before, and did we like to be punished by our parents? Did we do something that made our parents angry or something inappropriate? I guess all of us did that, and we think we do not deserve to be punished, do we? Children always learn from the adults, so whenever we see the kid does something inappropriate, shouldn't we think if the kid is learning from us? I believe there's better way to let the children learn to be better, but not by punishing them.

Hi taurisca Dorcas and I, with the Lord Christ's help, have raised three sons, now grow and married. They have turned out fine. In answer to your question, I would say it depends upon age, the understanding of the child, the act of disobedience, and some other things. Prior to any discipline, child should receive from parents love expressed vocally, and with hugs an kisses. Gentle physical punishment preceded by ample warning at an early age when they are able to understand is a foundation. This does not apply to infants, but would apply to those able to sit up and eat. So, example: Child is in high chair eating dried cereal. Child take piece and drops on floor. Warn child not to do it. Child does it again. Warn child not to do it and say that you will have to tap their hand. Child does it again. Warn child if he/she does it again then next time hand will be tapped. Child does it. Tap hand. If the child does it again tap hand a little harder. Continue but never bruise damage the child. If child does not stop, put to bed. But, when you do affirm your love to the child. As child gets a little older, a little spanking may help. But there are other ways you should mix in too. Time out--child has to go to room, or a place, or corner of room for a determined amount of time by you. Hold toy- Tell child if they do not behave you will have to take a toy they like and put it somewhere where they cannot get it for a while. There's other things you can do to, but use a mix, asking God which is best. When you are personally angry at the child, do this: Say "Daddy" or "Mommy is going to count to ten and if you do not obey then I will____." Start counting. If you get to zero, keep your word, but by counting to ten it will help you to simmer down so you do not punish in anger. All through this, each day, affirm your love for your child. Tell him or her what positive things they have done. Always laud them when they do good. For older children... Spanking by this time is most likely out and since most children are sociable, you can "ground" them. They stay at home, and cannot be with their friends. I once "phone grounded" our youngest son for leaving the city limits on his bike. That meant the only phone calls he could receive or start was about going to church for youth meeting. Never discipline your child by keeping them home from church. Physical discipline, in form of a slap, might be needed for older children, but only after much warning. Did this to my middle son. Grant privaleges as child gets older, but suspend privaleges for a time when you need to punish. Always affirm your love to your child before you have to discipline, and after you discipline.