He hit her!

Hi jesf, Yes, they ALL say they will never do it again and 9 out of 10, they will do it again. I think they really are deeply sorry and hope to never do it again but the thing is that they have anger issues. They reach a point where they just can't control themselves. They need help. As for your friend, there is not much you can do other than to be there for her. If you push her too hard to leave him then she will begin to avoid you and try to hide these things from you as well. The person that stays with the abuser needs help equally as much as the one who does the abusing. She needs help in understanding why it is that she would stay with a man that most women would run from. I hope your friend gets out of that situation soon as it almost never gets better. It usually gets worse.

Hi friend. As a woman, I feel so sorry for what happened to your friend. Hitting by someone you love can really cause not only physical, but emotional pain as well. It can even be traumatic for some people. I guess the fight they had was really severe which caused him to hit her easily. And as what you've mentioned, she had stitches on her mouth which was a sign of a very strong punch. I believe it was extremely traumatic on the girl's part since she can always see the outcome of that fight every time she looks herself at the mirror. When the man said and promised he won't do it again, believe me, he will still do it. If he has done it once, he will always do it over and over again. And as what other mylotters have said, he will ask forgiveness again for that. Well, that has been the so-called cycle of violence which should not be tolerated by the victims. If she was hit once, then she should stay away from that man already. Yes, it might be very painful at first especially if she truly loves the guy. But if she won't stop loving him, she'll always get hurt until she reach the point of hurting herself too. As her friend, I know that you are concerned about her. You can try to help her by simply talking to her and just try to explain the consequences that may happen if she continues that kind of relationship.

Yes, they do say that. Actually some dont say that... they deny they even assaulted in the first place, like my ex did. Your friend is like I was. I guess she is trying to save her marriage. But it cant be saved. He will do it again. Does he emotionally and verbally abuse her too? Im sorry, this is domestic violence. He will not stop, unless he is one of those rare few who get help. All you can do is offer her support, until she decides to leave him, as she will eventually.

how can he assure that he wont do it again? wont they be arguing for another topic? the fact that he have already done it once, there's a big possibility that he'll do it again. she cant just trust him like that. happy mylotting

Yes..they do always say that. I am here to tell you that if they do it once, it is just a matter of time until they will do it again. Everytime it will get a little worse too. It will be hard to convince your friend of this and if you confront her, she may slowly push you away until you never see her again. He will make sure of that if he finds out you have said for her to leave. Be there for her and support her when she is ready to get out. It is a hard situation but I don't know any other advice to give you.

ONE MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE GOES BOTH WAYS!!! In this case yeah, the woman should end the relationship. But then again she might hit him and then verbally abuse the man as well. It can happen in any relationship, but I hate how people automatically condemn the man for hitting the woman, but if the woman uses a club or another weapon and hits the man, or hits him herself, then that's ok. Bull fu**ing s**t! DOUBLE STANDARDS!

If he hit her once, then what is to stop him from doing it again? He will hit her again, they always do. Once an abuser, always an abuser. She is going to have to get away from him. "Love does not have to hurt". Go to the Domestic Abuse sites. You will see that he cannot and will not stop. The only way that the abuse will end is if she leaves him. When they say that they will never do it again, they never mean it. They will do it again because often times they cannot help it, they are violent by nature. My boyfriend has gotten angry, and he has never yelled at me or laid a hand on me. He will hit his bed or his pillow, but will never hit another person. Your friend's boyfriend could have hit anything but her. He could have hit a punching bag, or a wall if he truly loved her and did not want to hurt her, but as it is, he hurt her. He will do it again. The question is: Will she stand by him and let him do it again? Or, will she have the guts to get away from him and do the right thing?

Once one person crosses taht line and hits another, you can never go back to where things were and you can never return to that level or trust from before. Make sure the woman involved communicates taht to her friend that things may return to OK, but they will never be exactly the same again. I am so deeply sorry for your friend. Best of luck and vaya con dios.

Once a hitter all ways a hitter. He will only get worse, and if they get married and or have kids it will get worse still. The best thing she can do for her self is to get out of there and fast. There are lots of places she can go to and people who will help her. If you care for her get her out of there.

He did mean it, and he'll do it again. In fact, from what you say, he's already done it again. When he says he'll never do it again, he means it - but he'll do it again anyway. And he'll apologize again, and he'll be very sincere, and he'll promise not to do it again. You get the idea. Unfortunately, until your friend is ready to end the relationship, you can talk yourself blue in the fact, and it's not going to change anything. Very few women leave the relationship the first time they're hit. They make excuses, and they stay. There's no predicting how many times she'll go through the cycle before she's ready to make that break. In the meantime, all you can do is be there for her. Support her, encourage her, and be there when she needs you. And if he ever makes the mistake of doing it in front of you, call the cops, and be willing to testify. You could try calling the cops even if you didn't see it, but unless she's badly hurt, he's going to deny it, and she'll probably make excuses for him.