Middle Child Syndrome

I'm also a middle child. I see that the middle child gets the least amount of praise and the most amount of responsibilities. I bet that when my parents are old and feeble, I'll be the one taking care of them.

I wouldn't know much about being a middle child, as I'm an 'odd' child, I suppose. My mother was raped when she was 17, and had my older brother. We don't know who his biological father is. When my brother was 13 or 14 my mom remarried and gave birth to me. So I am the younger of two children, however my brother is only my half brother, and he was constantly in and out of jail, foster care, and prison. To be honest I didn't even know I had a brother until I was in 3rd grade when my mom, grandma, and I went to visit him in the Story County Prison. My boyfriend, though, is the middle child. His older brother, now 27, got lots of attention from both of his parents [who are now divorced] because he was always in trouble [similar to my brother, haha] . His younger sister is an athlete star, and has a full-ride scholarship to her favorite college. She gets most of the attention as she's only 16. My boyfriend didn't get much attention. They have enough pictures of him [they managed to save a few of each child from the flood] and such, but they make him do more work for less rewards as his two siblings. Example: When I went to visit his family for the first time, all his younger sister had to do was let the dog out and his mom cooed praises at her. My boyfriend cooked everyone supper, cleaned the kitchen afterward, took out the trash, finished laundry, and cleaned up the living room [all on 4 hours of sleep] and all he got was a "Thanks baby." He mentions it often, and though he doesn't seem to need much attention from me to make up for it, he does like to be thanked for tiny things [which I'm happy to do, as I love him more than anything] and tends to get sad when the attention isn't on him for more than ten minutes.

I am also a middle child but used it to my advantage to learn how to be independent. The older two were spoiled...my younger sister and I however didn't get as much. But that's okay. I learned how to take care of myself and be responsible. My older sister is always in financial trouble...my brother thinks the world revolves around him and has issues of validating himself now that mom and dad are gone...it worked out good for me!

Maybe you're not just very attached to them that's why you feel left out. I'm not a middle child but there are instances that you've mentioned up there that I experience. I'm the eldest in the brood of three and I sometimes experience things you had experienced. Like for example when you're out shopping, I don't get to buy things for myself, like you I could just make suggestions but I rarely get anything. One because as an eldest child, I know financially it would be a burden and second I don't have this guts to ask for something. Sometimes it takes a lot from my side to ask from my parents. Possibly it's one factor that you have. Aside from that I don't get much attention as well. I had a brother even before I get to walk and a sister at the age of 5 so my parents' full attention is with the younger ones. It's not just a middle child syndrome but every child, regardless of birth order, may experience the kind of thing you are experiencing.

you are not alone!i too am a middle child and the same thing happened to me, older ones get and younger ones get, we get leftovers or nothing. but the good thing that comes with this is that it makes us stronger in the sense that we are our own person. we do for ourselves and not ask anything of anyone.whatever we have we got by ourselves so we owe no one nothing. its not that your parents or parent doesn't love you,we middle children stand in the background and are quiet, we go about our life and usually are loners.my dad didn't even know i was on the honor roll at school or a cheerleader or played basketball, but he knew what my younger sister was in!do not feel sorry for yourself!you make your own life!i know you feel like a lost angel and don't belong anywhere, but only you can change that.you have yourself and one day they will realize that you were a forgotten child but by then you will have learned to make yourself happy and be happy!you are an independant woman and will find your way. but please don't think you will find comfort in alot of boyfriends!that will only bring more heartache!if you have a serious boyfriend i am sure he does show you the love you need and desperatly want, at least i hope he does.so, onward and upward girlfriend!do not dwell on the negative, think positive!you make yourself shine!