Are children to be treated as possessions?

I think that our children are a reflection of us. I think that parents just want the best for their children, and can sometimes interfere with their children's lives. Myself as a parent hope that my daughter will appreciate and take into consideration my opinions. I think that sometimes the parent needs to back up, and let their child live their life, but guiding them as well.

More so now because of the one child/ two children norm that is practised by couples. They just cannot let go. There is so much to give and with just one or two children all their attention is showered on these. In the good old days when there were nine or more they would just let go. This is here to stay and it is left for the childlren to take cudgels in their hands and gently live their own life.

I totally agree... a lot of parents in my country is controlling their children's lives (even with whom to marry) not that it is totally wrong for a certain age, but the parents are guardians, stewards to be exact should know exactlt their role in life. When the children are nurtured properly they will just follow the values that you inculcate, but at the end of the day their decisions still what matters most. I hate when parents still decides for everything even if their children are grownups. Their fears paralyzes their children to make their own decisions. happy new year

Well they are possessions given to us by God but in the same breadth it doesnt mean that we should try to dictate their lives .We need to guide rather than dictate listen to their views and give our own and then try to find a compromise but they do have their own lives to love and make their own decisions

I think that we should give our children the choice to live the way they want to. It's hard because you are just born into whatever you situation you are dumped into. There's not much you can do to change it you just have to keep going with it or else you die.

I read through all the responses on the first page and saw how much of a variation in what people consider controlling without specification. So I would like to know what you mean by controlling? Can you please provide a concrete example?

Hi shobhan, You're right in saying that many parents believe their children to be their possessions and try to control their lives. This of course, is very wrong as every person is an individual in his/her own right. Children are not our property, no matter what some people say. Being a parent is without doubt the greatest responsibility that anyone can have, yet few realize that. Blessings.

You are correct. Children are not our possessions, but until they reach adulthood, or the age of majority, they are our responsibility. While they are children we have to have control over their lives and the decisions they make. What parent would allow a 5 year old to cross a busy street unassisted if that's what they decide to do? Or to play with a loaded handgun? It is our job to support, love and teach them the things they need to know so that when they become adults they have the skills needed to survive in this world, and during that time we do need to have control. Once they are adults, that control stops. They may ask our opinions or for advice, but any decision made is now theirs, and any consequences they bring. That's how I treat my son, and I give him the respect he deserves as an adult, and we have an excellent relationship.

Of course children and teenagers should be able to make their own decisions in things such as sports, what they do for fun, etc... But it is our job as parents to lead them in the right direction, make them go to school, and teach them right from wrong. Many parents do go overboard living their lives through their children and this is bad. But there are many things children can not decide without the guidance of their parents.

Children are not our possessions. They are gifts from God. Children are given to us for us to learn how to love without conditions. To make us more responsible as humans. Yes, it is true that though we may care about them, we don't have the right to choose what is good for them. Still, they are the only ones responsible for the choices they are going to make. We have no right to control their lives.What we can only do is to guide tham and support them for whatever decisions and aspirations they have in their lives as parents. Hoping and praying they will take the right path and be the best persons that they can be.:-)

I agree with your opinion that children must not be treated as possessions instead be given the right respect to become independent in their own way. In this way, you will see the fruit of your hard work being a parent and your influences and foundations given to him. Some families do treat their children as possession and mostly the effect of this to the child tend to be rebellious, insecure, or even cannot handle real life situations in life with dignity and his own principle. The child became dependent to his family and seemingly shown most of confused directions in life. Children are not the same as material things that ha no feelings, items you want to have and posses. They are humans that need others in life. They continue the generation of a family. Sooner, they will become like parents and do their roles. It is like a chain and transfer from generation to another.

Hey shobhan51! That is a very considerable question. That is also very true! I have noticed that children are treated as possessions because some owners do not want to spend time with them, but want to keep them safe. That is a very specific example. It is like parents are comparing them to vases or portraits that are very expensive. I hope that this answers your question. Have a great day and have loads of fun mylotting! Punjab911

As much as I want to, it just cannot be. Parents have the right to their children only up to a certain age. But it doesn't mean that we will stop caring for them. Parents will always be parents, no matter what. It's just a matter of taking things into consideration, and accepting the fact, that they will soon have their own lives to live. Just like my 18 year-old daughter whom I have an agreement with. That she will not have a boyfriend until she finishes school. Until just the other night, I found out that she and her close guy friend are already on. What else can I do? I just told her to take care of herself, and that I will just be here to guide her always. Even if it hurts me. Hehe...