Who else believes the bond between mother and adoptive child is not as strong?
By sunisami
@sunisami (93)
Australia
January 1, 2010 10:47pm CST
Or am I the only one to think and feel this sad conclusion? I truly believe that the biological child has less of a chance of being rejected by their parents, especially the mother, when the child does not live up to the parents' expectations.
5 responses
@tawny_24 (341)
• United States
6 Jan 10
I agree with you, I have never met my biological mother, but I feel more positive feelings about her than the woman who raised me. It cost a lot of money to bring me to the US from Korea and my "mom" always made sure that I felt like I owed her money. I don't think that she was satisfied with her purchase, and unfortunately the adoption agency didn't have a return policy.
I definitely feel that if she had been more of a loving nurturing kind of person that we could have had a strong bond, but she is not that kind of person. If there were more psychological profiles for the kind of person who should adopt, and more education for people about what adopted children feel then the whole thing would be better, but honestly I never had a relationship with either of my 'parents'. I'm just sort of there and everyone wants to know why I haven't disappeared.
@sunisami (93)
• Australia
7 Jan 10
That's cool Rwrathall. I know you are just sharing with us. I went out with a guy in my 20's who was really close to his family and they took me under there wing. It was the first time I really felt part of a family unit and I loved it. Although it was also the first time I really realised what I had missed out on. I turned out pretty good considering the lack of family guidance and love. I love life. Love a laugh. And really don't have too many hang ups regarding my past. Although I do find it hard to commit and love for fear of hurt and failure but I am working on that : )
@magara (31)
• Philippines
5 Jan 10
I myself, don't agree that the bonding between mother and adoptive is less.I am adopted, my mom and I are very close. But I admit there was one chapter of my life that we were at the both ends of the rope, trying to pull each other, moving towards what we believe in. I think that's normal. Miscommunication and misunderstanding will always be there.
