Aggressive toddler - what to do?

Ysabel, In the first place, for every cause there is always a reason, so it is important to attend to a toddler's distress cry in the first possible instance. In this way, we will be able to know through close observation what might be distressing them. From experience and most toddler care literature, toddlers are usually stressed in still-emerging language skills, a fierce desire to become independent, and undeveloped impulse control make children this age prime candidates for getting physical. So, it will require both your close attention and astute observation with proper implementation of logical consequences for your toddler. At all times, both parents must be cool and calm when your toddler is in aggression mode. Scolding, yelling or even hitting will never solve the problem and worst will just rile them even more when they need to calm down in the first place. In fact, watching the both of you control your tempers may be the first step in them learning to control theirs. Always be ready to attend to their distress and stress. Just do not wait till they start striking or biting the second or third time later to attend to them. Remove them from where they are to a quiet and calm environment where you can help them get a hold with their temper. Let them know the difference or that depravity will be present when they cannot control their temper. Learn to set up a pattern that your child will recognize and come to expect. Eventually, it will sink in that if he misbehaves, he'll get a time-out. Even in public, where you may be mortified by your child's behavior, don't let your embarrassment cause you to lash out at him. Other parents have been there too — if people stare, simply toss off a comment like "It's hard to have a 2-year-old," and then discipline your child in the usual fashion. Encourage them to speak out when they are angry and place clear limits for misbehavior and aggression. Teach them what to do when they are angry and that it would be wrong to bite, hit or hurt. Teach them to apologize when they hurt someone during their tantrums, be patient with them at all times. They may not get it and be seemingly insincere but time will help things to set in for them. It is also important to recognize the need to praise lavishly and reward them when they behave and go about positively when they are angry. This will reinforce their perceptions and reassure themselves that they are doing the right thing. Likewise, they will also realize that they will have a better and easier time with others around them during playtime. Last but not least never hesitate or be afraid to seek professional help when things do not seem to go anywhere or making any headway. There will be times where the child just require more interventions than both parents can provide. Approach your pedia so that they can help recommend a counselor or psychologist to help. Be attentive, creative and patient at all times. I hope that the above points will be of help here. Take care and have a nice day.

Tantrums are due to some cause which you need to find out in the first place. If your toddler is too small he may not be able to express himself by talking to you and so he shows it this way. Surely no happy child will get into tantrums. So plese find out what causes this. Could be he has stomach pain or some such discomfort. Even worms in the stomach I am told can cause the child to behave this way. I hope you will be able to find the cause.

that's why he keeps doing those things. he hurts himself because he knows that you will come running to him. first correct that habit. my son used to bang his head on the floor. i never once consoled him when he did it because he did it so himself. it's more of a 'you're okay'. my son was violent that i was scared of him hurting himself as well. the doctor told me (because we were worried about his head hitting) to hold him from behind, on the floor restraining his legs and arms with mine until the screaming passes and he calms down. it works for a while, but you're way of dealing with it will have to change because he will change his way of lashing out once the other one is subdued. me personally, i don't mind a small spank here and there, especially when throwing things. i've handled my kids good so far, but i'm working on my nephew which is harder because i have to deal with his parents discipline and he's been acting up a lot more AT HOME then with me and i spank and scold and his parents don't. so it all depends of course on the child and what they understand. but the best things for scream tantrums is waiting it out and ignoring the screams. once he's done try to talk rationally.

better understand the reason of their tantrums. because by knowing what caused the problem, you will be aware of it next time that you must do something to avoid such a scenario. one of my daughter is a special child. her case is very delicate especially when it comes to eating. she just cant feel full. she will eat almost everything on the table. once you show it to her and she asked for it, you must give it to her or else, everything around her will fly. so what i did is whenever we eat, everything is already placed on their plate and nothing else. we never had any broken plate neither glass since thenhappy mylotting ysabel

Hi Ysabel, i have two kids with autism. they have their own respective episodes and share of tantrums. My eldest has the tendency to hurt himself--bite his arms and even give his chest a punch. to avoid this, me and my husband give our sons a tight hug. a hug that will not give them any chance to throw things and worst--hurt themselves. then we keep on whispering to their ears the words i love you son, it's okay, you will be fine, we love you, then one of us will give him/them a massage. that's very effective. now no more tantrums. once i see some signs of an introduction to tantrums-- i will then give my son a tight loving hug...continue the love assurance, massage and it keeps him relax and once he gives me a hug that's the sign that he's fine. my sons are 13 and 9 years old. this strategy did work for both of them!

My nephew was doing this when he was younger, and what we considered temper tantrums, was actually him showing signs of skitsophrania, you may want to him to child theripist and have his "temper tantrums" analized. I mean no offense in suggesting this, but this is what my nephew would do, including trying to cut himself with razors at 4 years old when he didn't get his way.

Well, i dun have much experience with toddlers yet.. MOst of them, will only tend to cry when they dun get the things they wanted.. SO far, i have not seen any whom throw trantrums to the extend of hurting themselves?? That's too extreme for a troddler!! I guess, what u should do, is to ignore them.. Dun give in.. For they will take advantage of it, the next time round, whenever they needs your attention.. And once it becomes a habit, it's gonna be hard to change..

ysabel well from my own experience and from reading some doctors reports, tantrums come because a child is both tired and overwhelmed by all the new info he is now learning coming into his small brain and causing a sort of overload of information he or she does not understand why they feel tired and grouchy so they misbehave, this one doctor said if we as adults had that much new information coming into our brains at once,we would act up too. So I grabbed my tantruming son of a little over two, and wrapped a blanket around him, and held him tightly.in a short while he not only quit yelling and kicking,he went to sleep.he was in other words just plainly exhausted. this works,it may be unorthodox but it works and thats what counts. leaving them is not always such a good idea but holding, wrapping so they cannot move it does work.