don't you hate it when....

This is so wrong. These people are not acting in a very friendly manner. I would suggest that in future you ask for separate bills or insist on paying separately. To look at you suggestively as though you are in the wrong is suggestive that they have done this before and have the moves down to a fine art. These people are not your friends.

This problem rarely, if ever, came up with friends. It was a constant problem with co-workers. It caused a lot of ill-feelings towards the offenders. We got to know them and took the coward's way out. We excluded them from future invites. When their company was unavoidable, we simply stated up front that each person would pay their own tab. That way, the lavish diners and excessive drinkers could eat and drink to their heart's content. The funny thing about the separate tabs is those lavish diners usually fell in line with every one else. Could it be because the extra money was coming out of their own pocket? One other issue that seems to go hand in glove with the people who try to "get over" on others with the tab, is the tip. They will almost always undertip. This creates a problem because the cheapskate never puts in enough, so everyone else at the table is scrambling to put in enough money for a decent tip. Someone always gets cheated because they put in much more than their meal called for just so the bill will come out right. I finally learned, leave those cheapskates alone. They are not friends. Friends do not use and abuse friends.

YEah!! I do hate it if i'm in your situation!! They are just out to take advantage of the sharing of bills.. IF that's the case of them ordering those expensive dishes, i will go along with them as well.. And if they tend to be the same group of ple, i will make sure i let them order 1st, before placing my own orders.. haha =D If not, i will suggest going dutch before going wherever for meals.. So that, they wont be able to exploit me for anything.. And if there's any last minute changes, using inconvenience as excuse, just let it be, i wont care.. haha =D

Next time they pull that trick you could just order the expensive stuff too. Or you could just tell them "No, lets just each pay our own bill." Because truthfully it sounds to me like they are always taking advantage of you.

am proud of who i am and my friends know me that i always open my mouth in little things like these. it's not being rude for i treat my friends the way i treat my siblings: no holds barred when it comes to voicing up anything and this includes also showing my appreciation and caring. as for me voicing my thing as me paying only for the food i ate since i only have a small budget wouldn't be as rude had it to come from someone who seldom speaks and shows emotions then comes up with something like this. this is plain etiquette in the first place. i mean being conscious of the price of what you would eat if you see a bill being split up equally. sometimes it takes a frank one to jolt others of little things as sensitivity to what your companions can and cannot have or spend.

I certainly agree with you. I have learned a time ago to take only the money i am going to need with. As our group favours only one restaurant, who can actually cook a decent meal, i know what the prices are. They only tried to get me help pay their bill once, i wouldn,t, so that is how friends learn not to take advantage of their other friends. Believe it or not, we all still go to the same restaurant once a week.

that would probably be the last time i went out to eat with those particular friends.that's just rude to do something like that. if they get a higher priced item they should pay the difference.

The way to handle this problem is to tell the waiter/waitress that the bills are separate. If they fuss, then don't go out to eat with them again. It is rude for them to want to split the bill equally when they buy more expensive food. My husband's sister and husband used to grab the bill each time we went out to eat. It was annoying because we wanted to order what WE wanted, not feeling like we had to order something in their range all the time. We finally quit going out with them because they never wanted us to pay the bill and also so we could feel free to order what we wanted and not have to wonder what someone else was going to think. We make it understood that we are paying separately when we go out with anyone. That is, unless we are specifically taking someone else out for a birthday or the grandkids after a game. We always tell them to order whatever they want and they do.

Oh yes it happened to me a few times but then I got wiser I would tell every one I ordering my own, separate bill, drinks and all, if I want to share a drink with someone I will pay for it but that is my choice. The only time I would agree to split the bill [ without the drinks] is in a banquet where everyone have a right to eat all is offered.

One way not to feel guilty is to state at the beginning you only have x amount of dollars, so you don't want to spoil the others ordering, you can only pay for your own meal. Something like, "I'm having a hard time with my bills, so I can only afford a burger and fries." The ones who are ordering expensive items are deliberately using their friends to foot the bill. That way they can eat the good stuff, but someone else has to pay for it. I used to have those kinds of friends. They used to order the most outrageously expensive things, want to split the bill, but heaven forbid you should try to taste their food. So one time, after we all agreed to split the bill, I ordered the outrageous items. I was told off in very unflattering terms about wasting their hard earned money. We never ate out together again. It was great!! No more spending my money on them instead of myself! Making them mad might sting at first, but in the long run you'll be much happier.

I totally agree with what you mean. I mean it may be ok if its like $1 more or a few change more, but when it is like more than that, no way am I helping you split up the bill. You pay for the amount of your meal and your drink and I will do the same and that just mention that you don't have the amount to help split the bill equally you only have enough to pay for your meal. It is not you being a miser, its just you being fair and I think that if the shoe were on the other foot, they would probably complain as well, if you were to ask to split the bill equally. Exactly, you don't have the funds to help them enjoy their lavish lifestyle of eating. They should be more respectful in finding some meal that is the same amount as your meal. What I would do if I had a friend that continued to do that or whoever, then I would just not eat out with them any more, or just let them know ahead of time, that you only have enough food to do your meal and thats it and you have a set budget to eat out for that day and you can't go over. If they can't respect that, then just leave them be and don't eat out with them any more.

i think if it happens most of the time, maybe u need to speak it out before ordering. now that u'r friends, it doesnt matter, i think. to me, i seldom have such conditions. i sometimes buy the meal alone, or sometimes my frineds buy it. all have very good manner. i think.

I don't remember ever having that happen to me. If it was a one time work situation I wouldn't say nything. However, if it's friends I would say something about it before we went out to eat--at a time when we were just talking--not as we are ordering. I would think that my friends just had never thought of how it's imposing on someone if they want to split the bill. Once I pointed it out to them, I would expect them to be considerate. If not--no more bill splitting with those friends.

i honestly hate it,i think thats a big part of why i dont eat out with people. that and i could just be cheap:)

I would be very mad about this. I have not heard of such a thing actually as far as the people that I have eaten out with. I just would not do that, I would say this is your part and this is mine. Add my meals up and figure up my tip and thats that. If I had someone that was doing this all the time than, I guess they would be one less a dinner buddy.

I don't even go there when i go out w/friends nor do my friends. I am always alone so when the waitress asks i tell her mine is separate as do my friends. The only way to go in my opinion & u don't have hard feelings that way. try it.

Hey squaretile! I am so with you on this! I would not put up with someone who purposely did this, especially if it was done more than one time! I would definitely tell that person that this is unfair and that everyone needs to pay for what they got in this case just to show them that they can't get away with doing this again! I know that when me and my friends go out in a group and we split the bill (which of course is easier) we try to all get around the same amount of our orders! I have a girlfriend who kind of does this to me when we go out and she brings one of her daughters and she "splits" the bill with me! Not exactly fair is it? But, a different cirmstance and one I am not sure how to exactly deal with!

I don't believe in splitting the bill- everyone should always be responsible for what they have bought.. We had a friend that used to do something similar.. Only he would order stuff and there would be a table full of us like 6 or 7 people.. and then we would all get to our money and he would have nothing.. He would either only have a "couple of dollars" or in one case he conveniently went outside when we were all divvying up the bill.. On more than one occasion we were stuck throwing in extra money to cover his bill. or his "girl" friend (who wasn't really)would feel guilty and pay for it herself. It was so unfair to all of us.

Hi Squaretile, in our circle of friends, we never allowed this to happen. since we don't have the luxury of resources--particularly money to pay for our dine out escapades. so, before going to a restaurant, we settle on how much each can share so that we have the idea on what to order...anything within the budget. so we eat what we want and happy about it.

yeah totally .. arent u talking abt going dutch !! I came across this annoying practice in college.Its quite popular among students. Its easier for us to split the bill that way instead of trying to figure out who ate what and therefore how much each should pay. But to ppl lyk me who have thin purses its a major pain. I dread eating out with friends( or some particular friends).