Which is which?..biological parents or adoptive parents???

I have two adopted daughters and I do not know how to break the news to them that they are adopted. Though they have heard people talking they are adopted which makes me want to tell them the truth but I wouldn't want to change the relationship I had with them as it will definitely cause an impact in their thinking once they know that they are adopted. I will one day, when they are big enough tell them the truth but right now I am adamant to keep it as a secret. I don't know why you bother looking for your biological parents when your adoptive parents have taken good care of you and make you what you are today. But of course it is your right to know who your real parents are. Good luck in your search. I am sure my daughters will never be able to trace their biological parents as they are from different nationalities and I got them not from their parents but from someone who goes around looking for people who wants to adopt children.

It may not seem fair in some ways but your parents probably knew that you would one day want to know your own blood. As long as you make it known that you will not replace them with your biologicals everything should be ok. Much of their fear may be that the biologicals will be rude to you and hurt you. If you feel as though finding them is something you need to do then you should do it.

okay hella magara. I am adopted. I knew my whole life that I was, knowing or not knowing and then finding out does not lessen the pain you feel. YOu love your adoptive parents and you want to make them proud of you. But now you have knowledge of your real mother and you want to know her, you want to know why, you want to grieve the separation from her, with her, you want her to know that you love her no matter what. You may be strong enough to face the issues that your biological parents faced when they decided to give you up, and you may not. In the end, wether you find your birth parents or not, wether your adoptive parents are wonderful or not, you have to find yourself. That is all that really matters. I have never met my biological mother, I have been told that noone knew who she was, but I have many friends who are adopted from the same country as me and some of them have gone back overseas to find thier parents. Some have been successful and many more have not. Of those who have found thier mothers and fathers some have felt good aobut them and many more have not. YOu really need to focus on being mentally and emotionaly strong before you go try to find them, because they may not be what you expected or what you want them to be. It also takes a long time. Depending upon your international status, and where you were adopted from it could take years, and you might not find them at all. My mom didn't think it was fair at all that I wanted to find my birth mother. She thought that because I wanted to see what she looked like and talk to her that I was ungrateful for everything that she gave me. Which wasn't true. Unfortunately this has become the main deviding issue between her and I. It realy depends on how strong your adoptive parents are on when, how or even if you tell them that you are looking for your real mom and dad.

It is normal to get hurt when you found out that you are adopted but be thankful and feel blessed because they gave you a chance to have a family and to have a normal life though you are not there own. It is ok to look for your biological parents and your foster parents will understand that but at least give them an honor or respect them as your real parents.

I see nothing wrong if you will still look for your biological parents. Its only normal to long for them and know the truth. When it comes to your foster parents I know they will respect your decision because they knew in the very beginning when they adopted you that the day will come that you will look for you real parents. I hope one day you will find peace and belongingness when you find them. Goodluck.

may you find your biological parents one day

I say follow your heart. I don't see the harm in finding out why your biological parents gave you up for adoption. It may give you a sense of closure. I have seen on a MTV program, two girls were able to successfully find their biological families and was able to have great relationships between both biological and adopted.

It depends. I think an adoptive parents because they care a lot than biological parents. Adoptive parents have more sacrifices than biological parents.

There's a saying in INDIA,"PAIDA KARNEWALE SE PALNE WALA BADA HOTA HAI" It means the person who brings you up is far superior to the person who gave birth to you. Hope you got the message!!!!!!!!!!!! bye and all the best!

I can offer you an opinion from an adoptive parents perspective as I am one. I adopted a child who was 13 when I was blessed with her. For a while she didn't want anyone to know she was adopted and wanted to pretend that she had always been my daughter. I discourage this as it is very important to know who you are and part of that is knowing where you came from. Don't be upset because you are adopted. Look at it this way...most folks don't get to pick who their kids are; we get what we get but a child who is adopted was CHOSEN by the parents. They didn't have to take you, raise you and love you; they chose to. That is very special and very precious. As for looking for your biological parents; that is a personal choice and I can not speak to that. On one hand, it is important to know where or who you came from and on the other hand; they gave you up...whats to know. Talk with your parents (not "adoptive parents"; they raised you, loved you and chose you) and see what they think.

I think you should be fine with your adoptive parents because they have given you all their time and love,caring for you, fulfilling your needs, I KNOW IT HURTS in the corner of your mind but this will give negative effect on your adoptive parents who has brought you up,you should not hurt them..

Dont feel for it you may find your biological parents one day