What do you do when your family fight?

hey there.. i think the best way is not to get stuck in the middle.. i think they just have their differences that they cannot agree upon but that doesnt mean that they wont be at peace again.. your grandma is still your mom's mom right.. so i guess if you give them time they will make up soon enough.. just stay out of their fight so as you wont get stuck in it and you'll be forced to pick a side.. stay neutral and if everything else gets worse then i think you have to draw the line yourself and step up right at the middle.. its your judgment call whether they have went over the line.. dont hesitate to stop their argument when things get worse..

I have been in this situation before myself, honestly its no fun. This is how i handled it with a huge family fight between my mother and my grandparents many years ago. I went to both parties and told them... i love both of you equally , your both my family and im not going to pick sides, this is something between the two of you and does not involve me, i will communicate with both of you but not about your argument. Life is to short to be feeling stuck in the middle between two sets of people you love and care about. If one asks you about the other one all you need to say is , you will have to ask them because im not getting in the middle. Making sure neither of them lets you be the middle person is the most important part , as soon as they know they cant make you the go between things will smooth out for you. It tough to stick to this but its harder to be stuck in the middle. Stay strong and make sure they both know where you stand and how it makes you feel.

Hi animegirl; Sorry that you are in this position. I know how awkward it feels. First, let's just say that you need to establish boundaries with people who lay this kind of stuff on you. What is going on between your mom and your grandparents are between them. If your Mom appears to be upset when you want to go visit your grandparents, tell her what whatever is going on between them is your thing. Explain that you are still entitled to visit your grandparents and do visit. Add that just because you don't like them doesn't mean I have to too. Tell her that your grandparents are your friends, that you don't have a problem with them and that you are going to go visit them now, Bye. Just like that. Do not let your Mom try and make you own part of her argument that she had with them. If she wants to go on about her perception of how terrible of people they are tell her that it has nothing to do with you and that you do not want to be part of that conversation. Close the conversation "This conversation is over". I do not think that it is fair that just because your Mom has a problem with your grandparents, that suddenly you should too.

When the family argues or fights,that's when I leave.I don't like fighting and don't like to hear arguements,so I even sit in my room away from everyone until it quiets down.Sometimes I take my dog for a long walk walk to get away.

My family arnt so bad for arguing but my parters family are! They forever cause trouble between each other! I just stay out of it otherwise you end up the bad guy even if it had nothing to do with you in the first place.

Hi anime girl: I have passes throught some arguments between my mother and father and what i do is to keep neutral. This is my position and I don't let my mother or father to try to make me change my mind and support him. That's their problem. In your case I think I would tell your mother that you are upset with her complaining with yopur grandmother and that this simply not ok for her health, i also would mention her attitude in those situations. Thanks for sharing with us your situation. Hope you are having a nice day. Happy New Year. Take Care. -Alvaro.

According to me, each and every person have their own views and reasons. So if there is a heated argument going on, i will prefer to stay out.

animegirl334 I think the best thing to do in this situation is to stay out of it completely and if you get static, explain that you love all concerned but do not want to be put into the middle of a family spat. You cannot take sides so ignore their bickering. perhaps that might even cool it down a bit.

yeah its pretty hard thing to deal with. myself i would tell your mom im not in it. but its sad that your mom would pressure you to take side. but the only time my family get into it is when my daughter in law gets bored and take any chance to start a fight with my daughter, then my daughter in law cousin will get into it. but i do speak up to her and my son about how its wrong for my daughter in law always picking a fight then him and her get upset because my daughter get upset and telling her off. my son and his wife always tell us we need to stay out of it, and i tell them well if my daughter in law cousin stay out of it then i will. or they get upset because one of daughter's friends take up for her. to me there is too much hate and fighting going on

I object when I am supposed to put up with infringement of my rights, just because it is family issue. LOL. There are situations where protesting is essential, and if fights ensue, it was meant to be. Showdowns solve issues, instead of it burning and compounding in hearts. And I do stand up for justice whenever any injustice seems to be meted out. It has made me a bad girl, but I cant respect a person who is unjust. :(

I will try to unite both parties together so that the matter can resolve in a peace manner rather than the matter became worst which it is resorted to violence.

I think you Mom should have not done such a thing because it a bad thing to disobey parent, which is a commandment in the Bible. the next think she should understand that when people get old their thinking change. old people start to think like Kid at that point in time so she should talk to them in a well mannered way, with this situation you are having i think you should talk to your mom, ask her why she is bad mouthing them, is it connected to her past or something??is it something they have or havent done to her?she needs to really loosen up and let go. if not she will regret it if they are no longer in this world?she will be using "iF" word all the time filled with regret talk to her to make peace with the grandparents

I don't take sides. I find ways to fix the problem and make them kiss and make- up. I don't bring up the topic to any of the family members who have gaps. I find ways to change the topic whenever one of the family members who is invloved with the fight will say something not nice to another member of the family.