Do you judge others on facebook by who is on their friends list?
By tawny_24
@tawny_24 (341)
United States
January 8, 2010 12:30am CST
I logged on to my facebook page today, which I only check once a week if I remember. I go to my inbox and I have a message from a new friend:
You are who your friends are
Even though you hang out with reprobates thanks for the add;)
Now this person does not know me personaly. She does not know that the main bulk of my facebook friends are other adopted asians that I have grown up with. The specific people she cited as examples of the quality of my firends' characters were people I went to highschool with almost ten years ago and have not seen for about as long as that. She has no clue that I am a fulltime caregiver to my disabled father.
I responded and let her know that I took her message in an offensive way.
I don't care if some people I knew a decade ago are living in gorilla cages smoking crack. I don't even know most of thier phone numbers! I do not appreciate being called a reprobate. I had to make sure that I wasn't misunderstanding her message so I looked up the definition-
Reprobate: NOUN a mean, evil, or unprincipled person.
I am just wondering if other people have had this experiece? Or perhaps you may have made assumptions about people you have never met based on who they know on facebook, and with out having any knowledge of how close someone is with people on thier freinds list.
IF you have judge someone for this reason did they tell you or do you think you are justified?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@ladysurvivor (4746)
• Malaysia
8 Jan 10
I can't help but to judge people because there is not other alternative to choose than to come up with one short and simple conclusion about someone on first impression. I think everybody does this because you don't have much time to hang out with the same person to really shove away the importance of making a brief conclusion about that person.
However, I don't normally rate a person as negative the first time. Even though I may feel that some particular persons are not my type, I will not give any comments that will hurt the person's feelings. I would rather choose an approach of being silent and until that person approaches me and say hi or something, the friendship will not be begun.
Based on your writing, I think the person you are mentioning had misunderstood the meaning of reprobate. May she thought it was a positive word. Many people do not fully understand the meaning of words, so they just assumed the meaning. They didn't refer properly to the dictionary to find out the true meaning of it. When they wanted to use it, they didn't have any doubt but straight away using it. If I were you I wouldn't want to give a harsh comment to her, I guess it is just a misunderstanding of the meaning of a word, that's all.
If I am wrong, forgive me. This is just a personal opinion from my side. I wish you all the best in everything you do. Have a nice day!
@tawny_24 (341)
• United States
8 Jan 10
YOu know I thought that too. Maybe she just was using the wrong word. But it was the "even though" part of the sentance that makes me think she used the word intentionally. "Even though" to me is the same thing as saying "In spite of the fact" So she to me was saying "in spite of the fact that your friends are bad people and I think you are a bad person because you know them on facebook, thank you for responding to my request to be your friend." WTF!!!!!!
Maybe I just have no sense of humor. Maybe that was what the wink is for, but even if I was sure that it was a joke I still wouldn't think it was funny. Especially when I look at her profile and she is way older than the age group of my friends and I, and she is college educated. The fact that she is intelligent means that she knows what reprobate means.
1 person likes this
@ladysurvivor (4746)
• Malaysia
8 Jan 10
Well.. yeah, she's mean to say that to you. She has no right. However, don't get too upset about this because in the first place you don't even know her, so she's not important in your life. Let her say whatever she wants, because her words are not going to affect you, not even a bit.
Ignore her. That's the best solution, at least that's what I think.
1 person likes this
@niazrony (26)
• Bangladesh
8 Jan 10
I think in facebook, we have to more careful. Basically untolarable talking is not good. we have to add friends with keep our own status. I am agree with you. It so untolarable. we have to be careful... thanks!!!!!
@Java09 (3075)
• United States
8 Jan 10
Well,most of my friends list are people I just randomly invited to play the games on Face Book.I have to say they are alot nicer than the people I know on there.I had my friend's daughter on there,I had to delete her,because she got nasty to me just because I don't like the same things as her,then she went on there in my friends name yelling at me.So I deleted her too and I had to block both of them.I think she is some kind of nut.She needs to see a head doctor.
