Do you prefer new and exciting or old and comfortable?

Me and my hubby have been together 20 years this year..19 which we have been married and I have been in the comfortable mode most that time..not alot of new exciting things that go on in my life. I do miss it though occasionally especially on special occasions..like tonight..Valentine Day..went by just like any other day..heck he didn't even say Happy Valentine till 9:30pm which is bedtime for him.. and he said..oh by the way before I forget...Happy Valentine Day..that was it..made me think of that Deana Carter songs..did I shave my legs for this??? I didn't expect anything since we are behind on bills and money is so tight it is nonexistent, but there is a few different ways that doesn't cost anything to let him let me know I m still special to him..that I still rock his boat so to speak..but I am afraid it is true..he doesn't have a romantic bone in his body..lol.I had thought of printing off a few couples couples..but I didn't, I didn't print him off a free card since I felt it wouldn't be appreciated..so all in all it is my fault to..maybe if I had done those things..to late to cry over spilled milk as the saying goes.to late now I guess...

Nothing is missing. What you have is a mature relationship. That's what life is. Comfortable is good. You couldn't raise a family and do what you need to if you were always on cloud 9. You can revive that giddy romantic feeling once in a while by having date night. No kids. Just you and hubby. Make it special. Put on a nice dress and make up. Do something unexpected once in a while, like wear new lacey undies. Tell hubby halfway through dinner what you are wearing. Tease him a little like you might have before you were married. If you start doing small unexpected things once in a while, he will too.

i am sort of like you but my hubby and i have been married for 22 years and well a trap like that is easy to fall into. my hubby has a great sense of humour though and and is always making me laugh. i tend to get bored pretty easy so i change up everything else that i can (surroundings [i move furniture a lot!] clothes, accessories, that sort of thing, we visit the library once a week too. it helps with the boredom!

Ah well my relationship isn't comfortable right now. We are going through some major things and there is a lot of 'new', discoveries about each other and the way we think among other things, in with the old and comfortable. But I don't do well outside my comfort zone usually. I enjoy new things as long as they are new things that I have some part in, in other words they aren't pushed on me, sprung on me, etc.

I think the key is to do little things to inject the new and exciting into the old and comfortable. I still tingle a little when my husband calls me during the day and I always smile when I see he's texted me. I think the reason for that is he doesn't always do it. Sometimes he'll call 3 times in a day, sometimes I'll go for a week without getting a call. There's lots of different ways to change things up and add little bits of new-ness. It's just a matter of doing guess and test and seeing what ways make you tingle and which are a totally stupid pain in the a$$!

Marriages can go through stages and for a happy marriage it is important to keep falling in love with the same person time after time again. Comfortable is good and secure. You can spice it up again. I did my showing him more appreciation and he in turn responded in like. The fact that you have lost so much weight is good also to spice things up! The best mAarriages are based on friendship and trust - just being goiod friends I found to be so important. Blessingzs

I think it's a common problem and one that kind of tests a relationship...I think that's where a lot of ppl choose to have an affair thinking it will put the spark back in the relationship when in reality it only dooms it. Nothing can always be new and exciting...kids are the same way. When you first have a baby they are amazing and you can't spend enough time with them, by the time their teenagers you're kind of tired of them and looking forward to when they move out. The goal is to find an inner peace...to find happiness in the knowledge that you have a solid relationship...something that a lot of ppl don't have. As for putting the spark back in your relationship, try doing some of the things you did when you were first married...or find something that the two of you like to do together. Remember Happiness is a Choice. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE**[/b]

A lot of married couples have the same problem as you do. Before they get married, all they can find from their loved ones is excitement; but after they are married, they begin to think that there is something missing in their life. No excitement, no challenge and the once wonderful and exciting life suddenly becomes dull. Everyday, they follow the same routine. After a long time passes, they feel it unbearable. Why is it so? I wonder if people have ever thought about this. As for me, I do think of this frequently. After people get married, they begin to know more about their spouses, including their personality and living habits. As time goes on, they find it is becoming more and more difficult to find something new from their spouses, and they begin to feel boring, even ask themselves what they could find from their loved ones before they were married. But one thing they have neglected is that they are enjoying life together with someone they love after they had experienced hardships and difficult times. What they should do is to cherish it instead of doubting about it. I think you should try some ways to change your life. Travelling with your spouse to a very exciting place that both of you want to go to. Take regular walks with your spouse every day if you can spare time and recall the good times you spent together in the past. It can help you to find new things and excitement.

Hi Katsmeow, To be very honest, i think all the realation will go from Exciting to Comfortable, that's just the way it is. When you first met, everything of each other are new, you feel so much fresh and wanted to know all about each other. When the realtionship is stable, it become comfortable. I am type of person enjoy this whole journey!

Wake up Kats there is so much the two of you can do to add that zing which you say you are missing in your life. No. Please dont ever stop wanting to have excitement without which life is a big bore. I could write a book on how with what there is one can with a bit of imagination can change ones life into a veritable paradise. To begin with let there be space between the two of you to start with, which alone would want you to get back in each other's life with zest. Rearrange furniture in your house. Eat at different places, - these are just a few suggestions and I am sure you must be having good ideas too. Good Luck.

hi friend,its been only one year i got married ,initially like you i also find various difference between both of us ,and still i am working out...some one have to compromise and i know i am more emotional and my hubby is more short temper..who can imagine the situation of all agreements arise between us..but i can feel the difference..day by day..we both are understanding each other lot...

old is gold and new is silver...everyone makes friendship or any relationship easily, but the difficulties lie in the continuation of those relations..so we have to compromise to some extent in order to survive the cute relationships..we should suppress or control our ego and complex in those circumstances..long lasting relationship needed in case of emotion sharing which can't be in short term relationships..

I think after u have gone through that romance phase in your relationship, what happens is u end up being the best of friends and then u would call your relationship as companionship. When passion slowly fades ..what remains is love, respect and trust and with these three..is enough to enjoy each other's company. Of course we need to grow individually, so friendship with others is still welcome.

hmmm this answer is easy for me i am really happy with my guy and nothing is missing in our relationship if u are sure that the person i choose is the best he always will be the best

I know how you feel. I've been trying to add new and exciting in my life in other ways. I've been trying to make more friends and to do stuff with them to help. It seems to be working a little bit. I also would like to add more new things to our relationship like little weekend getaways and stuff like that. The other night at dinner with his family we were texting each other dirty messages lol.