I met an englishman, whosmokes like chimney, drinks like fish, should I upgrade?

The major comment I have focused on here is the fact you say "he is a really great man" which suggests to me you would still carry on being attracted to him despite the fact he lives an unhealthy lifestyle? If you said he was a pig and treated you badly then I would suggest you bin him off, but, seeing as he's a "great man" like you say then you could probably tease him a little bit. You know, like have a coughing fit whilst he's puffing away as an example. Does he smoke more when he drinks? Is he a social drinker? If the answer to those two questions is "yes" then you have an uphill battle with him...especially if he's a Pisces then he's REALLY set in his ways, just like my Dad! Love the comment about his English nose. The list is endless of English men I like with gorgeous noses!

I feel that this man you like soooo much needs a great chance to change himself for the better. I don't think you should just kick someone soooo nice immediately. He needs to be listened to and most of all to be guided by someone who loves and cares for him. I have met a lot of men who can be really stubborn but you cannot change a man just for one night. This requires a lot of time and process.If liking turns out to be loving then ... the changes must have taken place as time goes by. : )

HaHa, I laughed at your title.."should I upgrade?", that was funny! The only problem I see is that you already don't like it. You like him, but you don't like his habits, and I can see you eventually trying to change him. That won't work unfortunately, maybe for a while, but not long. People are set in their ways and it takes a very strong person to change them. He obviously likes to drink and smoke, you don't. I'd probably put this on the back burner and move ahead because I don't see you ever really being happy. I guess you need to think of the future, and what you want out of the relationship. If you're looking to find someone to settle down with, no. If you're looking for someone to just hang around with, fine. Otherwise, I think you'd be picking on him all the time to change. Good luck!

I was thinking what you mean by upgrade LOL, that was a catchy title. Sometimes we are blinded with the good qualities of one person and overlook his weaknesses. Then we taught we can change that person for good, we sacrifice but in the end we are left frusrated and hurt. If that person will change by himself well that is good but changing him by your likeness would be a hard battle. If you choose to be with him, you should accept his ways. It's a matter of take it or leave it. In any way you choose, goodluck.

Relationships are an ongoing give and take thing... Number one thing is being open and honest. You should let him know what it is that you expect from a relationship and openly listen to his expectations. If he is willing to meet you half way, great! If not.. then don't waste your time and a piece of your heart. Us women do this all to often and waste a little of ourselves on men that take us for granted. The same goes for men as well. You shouldn't lower your standards! Be true to yourself.

I think.. If you really like this man, you should tell him to quit smoke and less drink. Maybe that will be hard because I've been trying to ask my friend to quit smoking but he doesn't do it. If he really is a great man, he will listen to you :D

Hi, first thing you should do, try to talk to him and tell him what you like and dont like about his habits. If he loves you then he will try to quit those... but it will not be all at once, so you have to work out with him. wish you all the best