Are you worse for wear? Or alright?
By SomeCowgirl
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
United States
January 9, 2010 9:15pm CST
Of course I'm asking about moving out at a young age with lots of reponsibilities. Hubby and I are still living with his parents as we are not yet ready to have our own place. To be truthful, we're just now starting to pay bills. I've had a cellphone bill before, but that was it. We've paid a few bills in the past, but now we're starting to pay regular bills.
We want to have our own place, but first we need our own car. We've known people who have seemingly jumped out on their own with lots of bills to pay, and well we're not sure if they were any worse for wear or not. We either don't talk to said people as we're not friends with them anymore, or one we're still friends with but never hear from.
In any case, We don't want to be in the situation where we would need to move back, so we're taking things slow and saving as much as we can as well as spending. I plan to start using part of my spending money to go towards more things for hubby and my house so that when we get our own place there will be things we won't need to worry about buying. Of course we get a few gifts on holidays and birthdays for our home. The fact that atleast a few people know what kind of decoration theme we'll have in our home works for our benefit. We get things we need and with the design and theme we want!
So did you jump out there, and are you worse for wear? Tell me your experiences.
2 people like this
4 responses
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
10 Jan 10
I did jump out there and I was very young. It was tough. I had to work a couple of jobs because at the time I was not educated so I was very limited at what I could do. I also had a baby to take care of which was even tougher. I did ok though and now I must say that I am ok..lol..It has taken a lot of work and focus and I have been back to school..well..this is my second time back. I think that if you guys can get a nestegg established and then go forward..it will be easier for you to make it.
3 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
10 Jan 10
I just worry so much about things like this, and I'm also eager. I know we've got it made right now, but I suppose I see how money goes so fast and it worries me, but I know that if we set a budget, and get advice we'll do fine.
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
10 Jan 10
My parents paid the down payment and co-signed a loan for a new car when I graduated from high school. The deal was that I make the payments and pay for my insurance. They also gave me a gas credit card and a college education but they expected me to also work and learn to be a responsible adult. I married my first husband when we were 19 and, in hindsight, we were too young to be married. His income paid for most of our expenses...we had a one bedroom apartment (utilities included) and he had an older car. That marriage lasted for about 18 months but I didn't move back home after we broke up although my parents offered. Once you're living independently it's hard to go back. I shared an apartment with a girl I knew from school until husband #2 came along. We supported ourselves, raised a family. I would have preferred to have waited until I finished my education and had established my own credit before moving out on my own...but I was in love. I don't regret any of it. My life has taken many twists and turns, each one helping to create the woman I am today. Your plan sounds like a reasonable one. Make sure you are establishing credit while you are living with your husband's parents. You can't get very far in life without it.
3 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
10 Jan 10
I should mention that I had lived with friends at one point. Well actually I lived with friends, and then moved back to my grandmothers, then with friends again but this time it was with the friends and the family as well. In any case, I did have credit, let it go all to heck, and then corrected it before hubby and I got married. We're going to be getting a loan for a car though we could easily save up and get one without a loan, we're doing the loan thing to establish good credit.
In any case, I know what you mean about being independent and not wanting to go back, but though I did go back before meeting hubby I was mostly independent in that I think rarely did I eat with my family, and that I was always buying my own clothes, and paying my cellphone bill. I didn't have a car as I didn't have a license then.
Life is not about regretting, though I know everyone does at some things, glad you didn't regret your experiences though, as they seemed to really shape you, and experiences are always good to learn from.
As for education, I can not decide what I want to be, so I doubt I'll ever go to college. I think I'd like to be just a housewife with children, and a part time job in the future.
Hope your doing well, have a wonderful day and thank you so much for sharing your opinion and giving advice.
2 people like this
@thebeaddoodler (4262)
• Lubbock, Texas
10 Jan 10
Yep I jumped into the fire with both feet. . .50 years ago. Times were different then. I had some hard times and we did move back in with my ex's family several times. We were just too stubborn to listen to advise and not very good at communication and working things out together. Here are some tips from a very old gray head.
Make a budget. Include what you would have to pay for rent and utilities if you moved out. Include a car payment and auto insurance. Estimate your grocery spending. Those are the basics. You probably have some more bills to throw in there. And don't forget to put in a clothing allowance. You can't wear what you've got indefinitely.
Next record every penny you spend and what you spent it for. Do this for a month and take a good long look at it to see where you can cut spending. This helps to learn to control impulse spending. Now look at your budget again. Can you cut any corners there?
Can you make it on your own? You bet you can if you're both willing to make the sacrifices to make it work. Remember this is a joint effort and you must be willing to work it out together.
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
10 Jan 10
That is some really great advice! We won't jump out with both feet, no matter how much I know I'm itching to. Hubby's parents wouldn't let us, they are really great helps to us. We've got a budget handout in our workbooks for when we got married, we should utilize it, but I suppose we'll wait until we get a car and insurance for it. That won't be long now, so I'd say by March we'd have an outline. Of course, I'm planning to use some of my "allowance" so to speak for things for our future home so we won't need to worry about buying so much when we do move. I have ideas, and we have lots of money, we just haven't utilized a good savings plan.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
10 Jan 10
I should also mention that we buy our own personal hygiene things now, my husband buys subway for lunch a lot, and we buy some groceries or pay for gas now as a way to see how fast money can go and to teach us to budget. We actually asked for his parents to let us do this, and they agreed. We wanted to pay rent but they wouldn't let us!
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
11 Jan 10
Hi SomeCowgirl. I've been lucky enough not to have such a hardtime when I started out. I had part of scholarship when I was in school and my parents paid the rest. After graduation, I jumped both feet in, to be independent, although by myself. My university was an hour and half plane ride away, so I lived in the big city near my school afterwards. My parents did stop all my allowance after I got a job. Learning to pay bills was the toughest lesson to learn. It takes so much from the partying I used to have.
I think you have a good situation there with your in-laws. I also admire that you took the initiative to learn and pay your own bills. As soon as you master that, I think you'll do ok when you do venture out by yourselves.
I just want to wish you goodluck (and to stop having such crazy dreams)!
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
19 Jan 10
I'm sure it was a shocker with having bills all of a sudden, I know it was for hubby and I, and we haven't even gotten half the bills that I'm sure we'll get once we do set up house and have our own car. I'm sure we're not doing thing exactly right, we still want to spend, but I think we both agree we need to stop for a bit and just save. Yea, it's a great set up except for scrutiny, but I guess the scrutiny isn't bad.
Oh and the crazy dreams? I don't think I'll ever stop having them!
