who decide the date?
By yolanda19191
@yolanda19191 (1934)
China
January 9, 2010 11:50pm CST
yes, my sister-in-law pregnant before the wedding.
in fact, currently, most couples are like so.
they are getting married soon, but her parents chose a date, which was in abt 20 days. while then it was not near the lunar new year, which we here celebrate the most ceremoniously . so, my parents want to change it later, near the end of lunar 2009, also near the lunar new year, then most relatives will come back from working outside and can have a bigger party.
so, when u got married or when u'll get married, who decided or will decide the date?
in fact, currently, most couples are like so.
they are getting married soon, but her parents chose a date, which was in abt 20 days. while then it was not near the lunar new year, which we here celebrate the most ceremoniously . so, my parents want to change it later, near the end of lunar 2009, also near the lunar new year, then most relatives will come back from working outside and can have a bigger party.
so, when u got married or when u'll get married, who decided or will decide the date?3 people like this
16 responses
@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
When we got married, it was our decision and our parents were not there so we were the ones who chose the date. We just chose the date that is convenient for us and our few selected friends that witnessed the wedding ceremony. I think with the Chinese, it is very common for the parents to choose the date since they consult some "professional" about when is a good day to marry.
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
hi, silverglint, i feel u know chinese a lot. in fact, they are not consulting the 'professional' u said. they also will see if the date is convenient to most of the attenders or not.
@corrycrystal (1775)
• Malaysia
11 Jan 10
I know some parents especially Chinese people would check when is the auspicious month to get married to avoid any bad fortune. As for my marriage, both hubby and I chose our own wedding date. 
Anyway, congrats to your sister-in-law.
Anyway, congrats to your sister-in-law. @yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
hi, corrycrystal , seems u know some chinese custom. u'r really true, almost every couple will choose a auspicious date, month. well, it also needs to be convinent for most of the relatives and friends.
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
In deciding the date of marriage I think it depends on the availability of the church or the one who will administer the marriage because even if your chosen date is final but the person who will conduct the ceremony is not then it will not be done. Whats the best thing to do is to check first the available dates in the church or available time of the person and tell those dates to both parents so that there will be no more arguments with regards to what date.
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
hehe, rosey19, maybe u dont know on the earth some people who get married dont go to church. different custom.
different custom.
@bernjane (143)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Both of us me and my partner would decide the date for the wedding because certainly you both have the rights to set it not with the parents nor the relatives. If both of us won't agree with the date we've chosen better we put it on our anniversaries at least we don't have to argue since it's the day we've been us.
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
hmm, now most people trend to decide it by themselves, but i think i'd still prefer to ask my parents to. because they'll feel very proud and respected of it.
@pepsijunjun (19)
• China
11 Jan 10
I always think that getting married is the thing for the couple,with no relations of others,but in fact it is imposible, so in my opinion the date for wedding would better decided by parents.
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
hmm, pepsijunjun, i agree with u very much.
in fact, i do think marriage is not only the couple's think, but also the whole family's.
in fact, i do think marriage is not only the couple's think, but also the whole family's.
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
10 Jan 10
Hi yolanda, his is an interesting discussion. When I got married, in 1969, we hwd a lot of saving to do, so the date was set a year in advance. (No baby factor here) In Thailand the Monks usually help the couples shoose the date.
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
one year in advance, that must be rare.
hehe, joking
well, maybe a little same, parents always will find someone (like a monk) to predict which date is best for the marriage in the month, then parents will ask for advice from son or daughter, and then decide the date.
hehe, joking
well, maybe a little same, parents always will find someone (like a monk) to predict which date is best for the marriage in the month, then parents will ask for advice from son or daughter, and then decide the date. @sid556 (30959)
• United States
10 Jan 10
When I got married, my husband and I decided upon the date. It was our wedding and since we were paying for most of it on our own then we felt it should be up to us. If our parents were footing the bill which is the case with some couples then I would feel we should in all fairness respect their thoughts as to what a good date would be. Getting married before the child is born is not as big of a deal as it once was. Many couples get married after the child is born these days
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
though my brother will pay for it mostly, our parents and i will help some at the same. but we still respect parents' advice. now it's changed later, near the lunar new year, in fact, more convenient for all of us, but bill be more expenses.
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
11 Jan 10
I think the couple should choose the day since it their day but I believe the day they choose should be such that members from both family especially the parents can come.When I get married my fiance and I will choose the date but I will try to take into consideration a stakeholders but we will have the last say
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
yes, mainly we need to consider most of the relatives are convenient to attend. so most wedding are held on holidays. maybe we will too.
maybe we will too. @nitu1952 (286)
• India
10 Jan 10
usually it is the right of parents t deecide the ddate of marriage of their cilderen but wuith the upcoming trend this usuyally canges . now children will decide the date of their marriage. even one can say that the world is so advanced that marriages and divorces takes place instantly.
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
in fact, i do agree with u. i'd prefer to respect my parents and let them to decide, though more and more couples trend to decide by themselves.
@calai618 (1773)
• Philippines
10 Jan 10
i think it should be the couple who decides on the date. the couple will think of the right span of time then chooses the exact date upon the availability and convenience of the church, reception, facilities, food, especially the people who would be attending. that would definitely be what i would be doing for my wedding. i would also consider a date that is meaningful for me and my husband to be and see if that would be possible as a wedding date. :D
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
maybe it's little special here, we dont go to church when wedding. but in the countryside, cause we come from there. so, we listen to our parents, and invite relatives from parents sides.
but after that, my brother will hold a party in a hotel in the city, another province from my hometown, and then they both can decide the date to invite their friends, workmates, and relatives outside.
@nautilus33 (1827)
•
10 Jan 10
Well, when I get married, I think we both must decide the date for the wedding! It must be somewhere in summer, because I want a good weather for my wedding! This decision must be taken from me and my future wife and not from my parents! I want mostly to get married in August, because I have a birthday in June, my aunt has a birthday in September, so we need another holiday in August 
. And how about you, yolanda? Will you, your partner or someone else decide the date for your wedding?
. And how about you, yolanda? Will you, your partner or someone else decide the date for your wedding? @yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
hi, nautilus33, i think u must be a romantic man. in summer, ur future wife can wear beautiful wedding dress, and u also can have wonderful honeymoon travel. but in winter, it's so cold, not so convenient.
me? i even havent decided any bf, so, god knows who will decide. maybe we both will decide the month, parents will decide the date if the wedding is held in the countryside. but if in the city, maybe by both of us.
in summer, ur future wife can wear beautiful wedding dress, and u also can have wonderful honeymoon travel. but in winter, it's so cold, not so convenient.
me? i even havent decided any bf, so, god knows who will decide. maybe we both will decide the month, parents will decide the date if the wedding is held in the countryside. but if in the city, maybe by both of us.
@Genericbe (1376)
• Philippines
10 Jan 10
We will both decide the date. To make it more exciting and well planned. We will make some options before looking for a place or ways how are we going to spend the date. Usually, guys are great in deciding for a date.
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
so, Genericbe, u must will be get married soon? congratulations.
i think when i get married, we only will tell parents which month we'll get married, refer to the specific date, they'll decide it.
i think when i get married, we only will tell parents which month we'll get married, refer to the specific date, they'll decide it. @chikahdorah (269)
• Philippines
10 Jan 10
the parents of both sides are just eager to tie the couple because they don't want embarrassments in front of other people. You wouldn't like your daughter to be marching to the altar with a bulging tummy right?
But then, they are making it hard for the couple. In my point of view, they should let the two decide for themselves, well if they are on legal age. What it was just a whirl wind romance between the two and they don't really love each other? Marriage would be a big mistake. Anyway, it all depends on the situation.
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
thanks, they both are legal age, and also love each other very much. and now, my parents give a date, and my sister-in-law's parents, and the both all agree with it. everything is ok.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
10 Jan 10
When my husband and I got married, it was he and I along with the availability of our priest that decided the date. We knew that we wanted to be married during the summer because there was more likelyhood that our friends and family would be able to make it. We also knew that we wanted to be married on a Saturday again for the convenience of the people that we wanted to be able to attend. We didn't decide to get married on account of pregnancy because our daughter was 19 months old before we got married.
@yolanda19191 (1934)
• China
11 Jan 10
well, before u got married, when u gave birth to ur daughter, not any convenience?
because here in china, if not married, logically, it's not allowed to give birth.
@dilrajj57 (1757)
• Pakistan
26 Sep 12
oh dear, what a nice there that got pregnant before the wedding, i am pakistani, may i be able to get marry here in china? really i want here to merry with china girl.
