Is it necessary to make unkind assumptions in comments?

The reason we put up discussions is sometimes for help on a problem and ones opinion. You can't expect that when you put up a discussion for people not to put what they really think. Granted that person could have been a little more sensitive to the certain situation. After all, some people consider their pets their children.It surely does sound like the insensitive person was never a dog owner. He shouldn't have gotten upset, after all it is maybe 1 person out of how many think that. But in this economy employment changes. One could be living comfortably, then all of a sudden unemployed. You can't really rely on anything. I believe the majority of the people on MyLot are caring individuals who want to help and support a fellow My Lotter. So I guess the commenter was in his right, but I personally would never have gone there.

I can sympathize with the dog owner. I've had my dog for fifteen years or so. When I got the dog I was employed and making more than enough money to cover all my expenses and then some. Now that I am retired I am barely making ends meet. If my dog got sick I would have a hard time figuring out how to pay for the vet and medicines that the dog might need. I agree that the person that left a comment should have been a little kinder. No need to judge others by what you can do

It gets too easy to be unkind and to judge others. I am sure you said something in the discussion to try to tone it down and now you are here reminding us that we all need to have some kindness in our hearts. Sometimes there are agencies that will assist in caring for pets, I hope the other poster finds this to be true. Hatley in this trying time the kind voice is often not heard. I do wonder if the person who responded could hear how they sounded to others?

You know Hatley, people sometimes are just so insensitive to other people's feelings, it gets downright irritating after a while. Number one, the person who answered that way I'm sure is not in any financial need, probably has a great job, or a husband who provides well, or inherited some money. If you don't know what it's like, how the heck can you judge anyone? That was so very unnecessary to say it that way, instead of having some compassion. There are alot of people today who are out of work, not because they want to be, they lost their jobs. You know that, and I know that. They might have had these jobs for years, and boom, all gone. Well, they probably had the pets for years too, so now all of a sudden, some smarta$$ comes along and tells them he shouldn't have a dog if he can't afford a vet? Uncalled for....heartless and clueless to what is going on in the world, or just too busy shopping to care. I'm in the same situation right now, no job, and I've had my cat for 17 years, am I suppose to give her away?

Hi Hatley, All too often people are ready to put people down when something like this happens, its not the poster's fault if he no longer can afford the vet bill, but it depends on where you live, but he can get help to pay for the vet bill. Tamara

It was a very unkind and thoughtless thing to say for a couple of reasons. One, as the pet owner stated and is all too frequently true today, financial situations can change in a flash. Families that enjoyed expensive homes, multiple cars and all the other trappings of wealth, can suddenly find themselves strapped or worse, homeless. Just as people can fall victim to the downturn in economy, so can't pets. Secondly, there really isn't any good pet insurance available. Some pets, as they age may require expensive care...or they may not. There is no way to predict the future medical needs of a beloved pet. If this individual had a child that suddenly needed a heart or lung transplant and he/she didn't have adequate health insurance to cover it, how would they feel if some one told them that they shouldn't have had children? I don't understand the unkindness some people show towards each other.

Unfortunately, Hatley, this will always happen as long as humans are involved. Sadly, some people cannot stand others having a different opinion, and instead of calming stating their opinion, they have to hit out. Sometimes it seems as though people take a different opinion as a personal insult, so reply in like manner. One thing I really appreciated when I first joined here three years ago, was the fact that I could enjoy lengthy debates with people of different beliefs, but all were with respect and courtesy. I am a Christian whose relationship with my Saviour is of top priority in my life, but I have very good friends who are atheists, agnostics, wiccans and pagans and we have enjoyed lengthy, respectful debates on our beliefs and respect one another. On the other side of the coin, there are those who come in with a comment like "Idiot! Get an education!" without giving any other comments. It is possible to disagree and still do so with respect. It is never acceptable to be offensive or derogatory or even unkind.

and its not like I wanted to have all these cats - but people won't be responsible for their own pets and so I agreed to try to find homes for them hey - we've found homes for 17 cats in the last few years

Hi Hatley, I didn't see that one but it's true that it would have nothing to do with the discussion at hand. I see those kind of thoughtless and judgmental comments on here quite a lot actually. Pretty much any time someone posts something about a financial situation, there will be someone that has to jump in with a lecture on what they could have or should have done to avoid being in that spot to begin with. The fact is that none of us can predict what our financial future will hold. When I had children, I did not anticipate that I would be raising them on my own and that I'd struggle the way I did and do. I'm sure this man was confident that he could take care of this dog when he got it. He probably did take good care of him for many years. Now with the economy as it is, well, things change. People who once thought they were very financially secure are finding out that they are not secure at all. No one should be lecturing anyone in this situation. Could be them next. Many people from very good paying jobs have been devestated by the lay-offs and the fact that there are very few jobs out there to be had. I kind of know how this man feels. I don't have a pet but I do have myself and I would not be able to afford a hospital bill if I were to become sick.

There are many people who don't really read the discussions. They skim a post, think they understand what it's about and then set about putting their foot into their mouth. Others are judgmental because they haven't suffered in this recession/depression or lost a job just to find another shortly after. They feel smug and safe and think those that are in trouble have dug their own financial graves through financial irresponsibility so that even when it comes to a sensitive subject like a beloved pet, they are demeaning and callous. Then there are people who are just mean. And they are pretty pathetic. I hope the person with the dog wasn't hurt too badly. It's an awful thing to be worried about a pet or person that you love and may not be able to help if the worst happens.

Hey Hatley! I think the same as you do that this was totally an unnecessary response! The person who made that comment definitely did not need to be so unkind! When someone loves their animal and is upset about their being ill it is not necessary to put them down about not being able to afford Veteranary Care! It is surely not the least bit funny or kind! Does this person have any idea how much a Vet visit can cost? I have two cats and not alot of money, but would move mountains if my "babies" needed Veternary care and have! So, don't even get me started!

I have no idea why people feel the need to be so rude, how I see it with the discussions is if you do not like it or do not agree why not just move on to one that you can respond to? As for my opinion with the vet discussion is there are always times when a person comes on hard times does that mean that they should never have anything? NO! We never intend for these things to happen they just can and do...I am a mother of two and there have been times when I have been a little short on cash so maybe I buy cheaper meals items or they were hand me down clothes does that mean that i shouldn't have kids of course not...we may not be able to give them everything that they are wanting or asking for but as long as they are fed, cared for and loved it doesn't matter if it is the cheap brand of food or the name brand. Everyone is feeling the economic crunch right now and none of us ever planned for any of this to happen..just because this member may not be able to afford the vet bill does not mean that this member should not have their dog, there are times when a vet bill can be way more than one may expect and just because you may not be able to afford it does not mean that you are not a good pet owner and this other member had no right to say that this member should not have the dog. My dog is one of the most spoiled dogs and while I love her very very much and take great care of her is something where to happen to her where she needed to be at the vets i am not sure that I could afford it right now either....

To me that is totally rude to do that to someone who is trying explain their situation, and apparnetly, the one that commented like he or she did, didn't really going te tell them the way they think it should be. I try not to be rude and nasty to others, as that doesn't accomplish anything whatsoever. It just causes others to be hurt, and that isn't right as they wouldn't want it being said to them like that. Mylot is to nice a place to be rude. People should come in here and have fun, and stop being so serious all the time. I know mylot has helped me put things in perspective, that is for sure. Good luck to you and happy mylotting.

I think people should respond nice.You shouldn't assume the discussion is something it's not,people have commented to me that way and I did report the comment and it was deleted.I started a discussion about how I want to lose weight and someone pretty much told me I shopuld stop eating junk food and go buy produce instead,they said it in a very rude way.People come on here and try to ask advice sometimes.

No there is no need for comments like that People need to realise that there are always Circumstances and just because someone falls down financially does not mean they have to get rid of their Pet, that is how so many Pets end up being kicked out People should think before they attack and open their mouth there is no need for it

I'm afraid I've been somewhat guilty of that too Hatley. I'm afraid when it comers to animals I will speak out. under the circumstances you mentioned however, I would have offered one or two alternate suggestions rather than say the person shouldn't have a dog. I do understand where the comment is coming from but it does sound as though the person was being unkind rather than standing up for the dog or trying to be helpful to the owner. You are right and it's not necessary to be deliberately hurtful...unfortunately, some people can be very silly about getting an animal without the least clue how to look after it...it's more of a status symbol. This is very obviously not the case here.

That is so unkind to say things like that to someone who is having a bad time,who obviously loves his dog.He needs to find an animal charity who could help with the money side of things.You are quite right plenty of people from every class are having to trim their outgoings.We only buy supermarkets own labels,and don't spend any money unless we have to.The problem is worldwide and plenty will suffer as a consequence of the down turn.We are fairly fortunate as my husbands money is good and I don't have to work,which is just as well as I suffer from depression and stress,there are plenty of people who work with these conditions.That does not make me think I am better than anybody else it means I am lucky.No one has the right to judge anyone else ,we are supposed to be friends and support each other.

You must have already mentioned this to the one who made that comment as she/he is the main person who should know what you feel.

No it is not. People are so wrapped up in their own lives that they end up forgetting that other peopel are alive and have thoughts and feelings too. What that man was saying is that if you cant afford something, you shouldnt have it. But what about cars? You have to get a loan on it, so technically, that man shouldnt have a car unless he could buy it with cash, if he really beleived what he was saying to the man, or ifhe actually stood by his beleifs. I doubt that if he got very poor he would get rid of his dog because he couldnt pay for medical bills.

no its not necessary to make unkind assumptions in comments in my opinion