Give In or Give Up?
@anotherxidentity (1434)
United States
January 10, 2010 6:39pm CST
Every relationship is going to have arguments which can result in the silent treatment. So which partner speaks first?
Are you the type of person that talks to your person first or do you wait for them to talk to you?
Does it depend on who started the argument/started the silent treatment to begin with?
And also, how long does the silent treatment normally go on for your relationship?
7 responses
@anotherxidentity (1434)
• United States
11 Jan 10
What do you do if they decide that they are in the right as well as refuse to back down? Is there finally a time that you give in or does it just come to a point that both of you just forget about what happen and ignore the situation?
@anotherxidentity (1434)
• United States
11 Jan 10
I completely agree with you. Because even if people say it doesn't matter and they'll forget it, nothing is ever forgotten if its not worked out. Once things fester enough it just makes matters so much worse later on.
Thanks for responding.
@ongtina (1232)
• Singapore
11 Jan 10
I think a lot of the time I'm the one that's petty which arise the argument. So I'm also the one that usually talk first ( not apologise just talking or asking something that shows some concern/love ). He'll relent and reply and the argument is put behind us. Unless he or I got really angry with whatever harsh words that's spoken in the argument, the quarrel is usually made up the next day. When it's real bad, then we may not talk for 2 to 3 days ( seldom ). I'm trying to learn to be less petty so lesser unpleasantness, LOL, finds it a little difficult. hahaha, pity my husband.
@ongtina (1232)
• Singapore
11 Jan 10
True, little things just pop up that's really annoying. What to do, if you really love somebody, you just have to love the bad points as well as the good points in that person, I can say I love my husband and he loves me. BUT I also know that all these little unpleasantness is going to rub off all the love there is between us. I do have to check myself and I hope he too will check his own attitude and speech. (sweat)
@anotherxidentity (1434)
• United States
11 Jan 10
With all relationships its hard to let the little things slide, because when you're actually living with someone all the small things start to come out that you might not of noticed before and they can be annoying/bothersome until you learn to just deal with it.
Yes, do work on getting over the petty things but congrats to your husband for understanding its something that every relationship goes through at some point.
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 10
Me & my partner don't argue... He's so docile it's unbelievable! Whenever I get pissed off all he does is apologise... So it's nearly impossible to ignore him for longer then 10 minutes, in which I apologise and we make up. So all is rather nice. (:
@anotherxidentity (1434)
• United States
11 Jan 10
That's great you have such a great relationship.
The only thing I would say is make sure that he knows if something is bothering him that he is allowed to talk about it, because even if his personality says that he isn't going to care, people do care and the more things fester inside the worse the outbreak is going to be later on.
But it is nice that you apologize as well, even though he'll take the blame for most things.
@anotherxidentity (1434)
• United States
11 Jan 10
I can understand why you would, there are a lot of people that don't like to start conversations, especially ones that might foster an argument.
@allknowing (135492)
• India
11 Jan 10
It has been mutual. His famous quote "After the storm comes the calm, after the calm comes the sunshine" and this with a cup of tea made specially for me by the Lord and Master. But I am the one who got hurt more in these squabbles.
@anotherxidentity (1434)
• United States
11 Jan 10
I'm sorry about you getting hurt in it, but its good that things are mutual in the relationship to some degree. It is better for both to have to work on things then that responsibility just being put on one person alone.
@jakie18 (233)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Yes we can't erase the fact that sometimes couples tends to have misunderstanding due to different opinions.But it's normal and it also spice up the relationship.Relationship without arguments seems to be boring because you always agreed on everything.In my case when we have arguments that leads into silent treatment, as what you've said we, just vent for awhile then talk.We're always like this.An hour or two is enough and there's no big deal on who talk or approach first.It just comes out instantly.We always make sure that our arguments never lasted overnight so before we sleep everything is resolved.
@anotherxidentity (1434)
• United States
11 Jan 10
I'm just like you. I hate going to bed mad, because even though some people say you need to sleep on it, for me sleeping just leads to thinking about how mad I am and everything ends up being so much worse than it actually needs to be.
And yes a relationship without arguments means something is wrong in my mind because normally that just means someone is allowing the other to step on them and not speaking up about things, etc.
But its great you and your partner can easily talk things out.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
17 Jan 10
Well typically, before things get to out of hand, I just give the silent treatment to myself. That normally causes me to give into myself, but I have a real problem. I forgive me and forget it. Then I'm fine the rest of the day, until I argue with myself about when I should get up tomorrow.
