A Child Died in Just 15 Days: Who First Consoles Who, Husband or Wife?
By minemine
@minemine (24)
Nigeria
November 15, 2006 6:11am CST
This is truly my experience.
A first baby boy brought never-before joy to
my family.
On the 15th day, the joy turned dark as he
'returned' home.
I pray it wouldn't happen to you. On assumption, would you be the first to console your wife or your husband?
4 responses
@leanette (3002)
• India
15 Nov 06
i think the wife msut be consoled first. because she gets the most pain on knowing hte little life she safeguarded for 9 months and 15 days was lost forever. because for the 9 whole months she thinks of nobody but the baby in her womb. the husband might be in pain but not as much as the wife.
and moreover one of them has to get over it to move on ahead and that has to eb the husband.
@tigrashadow (1086)
• Australia
15 Nov 06
i am truly sorry for your loss. as much as i havent experienced this, i would think that it should be a thing worked through together and accept the support of friends or family together or separately.communication will be the key i guess in this as one may not realize the other isnt handling it as well as they show and may need professional help.
never feel afraid to ask friends, family or professionals for help and support too
hope this helps
well wishes
@minemine (24)
• Nigeria
15 Nov 06
Thanks for your concern.
I noted the need to be free in asking for friends's and family's help.
My experience showed that few of them have stories and advice that are devoid of blaming after they've heard your version of the happening.
I'm afraid..... of them....
Should I share my story a bit so that parents and non-parents can learn some things?
Once more, thanks and thanks for your quick contribution.
@baysmummy (1637)
• Australia
16 Nov 06
I am so sorry for your lose, For me i would console the wife first Although the husband is probably feeling very hurt and upset about the passing of a child! Or if it was possible to console them both at the same time then i would, but in most cases the husband goes to work and didnt get to spend as much time with that child as the wife and well also the wife has carried that baby for 9 months inside of her i am sure the wife would be feeling terrible!
@tigrashadow (1086)
• Australia
16 Nov 06
maybe you could look online to see if there is a support group...or make one here. it is so saddening to know that you are afraid of your friends etc who cant just be there to support and not blame..maybe go see your doctor and ask if there are any cheap or free counsellors around. i dont know what its like where you live for that kind of thing but i do wish you luck.
i do agree that the mother will always go through some different feelings as she carried the baby but the loss can be as great to the father especially a first born son
i dont have any experience in this as ive not had a child but maybe you could start a discussion for people who have lost newborns to share their story or at least share how they have been moving on.
