Abuse what constitutes abuse?
By free_man
@free_man (7330)
United States
January 12, 2010 9:02pm CST
What would you consider abuse? I was just wondering how everyone thinks about abuse. Do you think by calling someone names or mean names that is abuse? What would you consider to be abuse if it was done to you? Is being hit the only form of abuse? I was just wondering if you would feel abused if someone talked you down?
5 responses
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
13 Jan 10
There are many kinds of abuse - verbal, emotional, physical, spiritual. Anything that makes you feel bad about yourself as a person could be termed abuse.
I think that calling someone names is definitely abuse, especially if it happens regularly. Yes, I would feel abused if someone called me mean names.
Bruises heal but often the scars of emotional and verbal abuse never go away. The mean things and bad thoughts that someone put into your head can sometimes pop up and affect how you feel about yourself years later.
I always try to think about what I say and how I say it may affect the person I am dealing with.
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
14 Jan 10
Yes, this is something that I have personal experience with. I lived through it, learned from it and it has made me the person that I am today.
The best thing is that I have broken the cycle. My own children were raised in a home filled with love (once I left my first husband anyway). They had a safe place to grow up where they were not punished for having their own thoughts and feelings.
I am happy that you have found someone who loves you for yourself. There is no greater gift. My second husband is the same way. He is a warm, wonderful, funny man and I am so blessed in my life now.
Good luck to you and happy myLotting!
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
15 Jan 10
Thank you Cmauthe. I am happy for you now that your in a better place. I am thankful that God gave me such a good man. We are usually together 24/7. Which can put a strain on any relationship but we can't stand to be away from each other. When we do have to be alone we usually hurry up and get back home. It is the best friendship I have ever had.
@free_man (7330)
• United States
14 Jan 10
Hi Cmauthe and welcome to my lot. Sounds like you have had first hand experiences with abuse. Unfortunately I have had this happen to me too. I often wished I had never been born but I thank God this day I had been born. I would have never had met my husband that I have now. This is the only man I have ever met that treats me like I am equal to him. He does for me and I do for him we have a great friendship. Our friendship began by him seeing me abused by my ex verbally, my ex made the mistake of hitting me once and this man stood up and put my ex to the ground. But before he let him up he told my ex never to put his hands on me again or he wouldn't stop at putting him on the ground and holding him down. This was 3 months after I first met him and 2 days later my ex threw me out and the next day this man asked me to marry him. This is why I thank God daily for this husband.
@DenverLC (1143)
• Philippines
13 Jan 10
Abuse is the act of doing cruel, wrong, unwanted, untoward, unaccepted, inhumane and many other appropriate words, against anyone. Physical abuse is usually done through force, intimidation and the use of ones strenght. Mental and emotional abuses are usually done also through a Verbal act.
1 person likes this
@Allie_xoxo (1063)
• Canada
13 Jan 10
I think there are more dimensions and levels to abuse that we can't even imagine. Unfortunante but true.
@free_man (7330)
• United States
14 Jan 10
Hi Allie. I do believe you are right about the dimensions and levels of abuse. I have first hand knowledge of abuse and wish sometimes when I was growing up that I would have never been born. I am over most of it but every once in a while something will just appear that makes me remember how it felt. Only God can cure our elments and some day we won't remember the hate and hurts of this world.
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
13 Jan 10
hi free,
only yesterday i started a discussion on this, its called "emotional abuse", it affects the person much deeper than physical abuse, it leaves ascar that is difficult to vanish ..
cheers
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
14 Jan 10
Hi Sanjana. I didn't have the pleasure of reading that discussion as of yet. But when I get a chance I will read your discussion. I think that emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. I have been abused by different people and know I hate both ways of abuse. I wish abuse didn't exist but it does.
@ramos7881 (344)
• United States
13 Jan 10
Oh, this is a very deep discussion. Yes talking down to someone is abuse - emotional abuse. I really believe that the scars that emotional abuse leaves are much deeper than scars from physical abuse - however, physical abuse is often accompanied by emotional abuse, so that just makes it worse.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
14 Jan 10
Hi Ramos and welcome to my lot. You are so right the scars from physical abuse can heal but the emotional abuse stays with us no matter how many years. And the thought can reappear at any moment. Someone can say or move or do something that can trigger that feeling right back up into your very soul. I have been abused both mentaly and physical and I know how it feels. It has only been a couple of years since my last divorce and that man abused me in so many ways I begin to hate him. And God does hate Proverbs6 King James Bible.
