Am I a text maniac?

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I often text my fellow in the evenings,while he is out drinking with his friends.I couldnt find him, I would get crazy and want to chop him.One night,I caught him drunk heavily again, I was so angry, and raised the sharp chopper....and can you guess what happened?His big nose is gone forever.....haha its just a fantasy...when I interrogate about why he does,nt return my texts he tell me that his batteries have ran out.should I believe him?