How we should raise our children? Spoil them or be strict?

I have my three year old son, and I pampered him ...like every sunday after attending church, I let him eat in his favorite fast food chain, then have some rides in the mall, I am happy to see my only child enjoying. But I am also strict in some other thing, ofcorse we parents should discipline our child for them to grow up straight and with fear to God. I would say just be fair to them, be strict when it must, and pampering when needed.

I have two children of my own, my daughter is seven years old and my son is three years old. With them I have always raised them with a sort of middle of the road attitude. I have certain things that I am strict with them about and there are other things that I am more lenient with them about. There are some things that I do to spoil them and other things that I absolutely won't do for them. My daughter knows that it is against the rules to avoid doing her homework but she also is spoiled in that she has been taking gymnastics classes since she was three years old.

well I am only a teenage girl so sorry i dont have any experience. However, from what I have seen, I think its good to not be too extreme in either way. of course we cant give them whatever they want because that will just make them spoiled. my aunt has a son and a daughter and she really really does not like girls (i mean this is just the culture in my country and its really bad). she spoils his son and give him almost whatever he wants, she hardly ever yells at him and she is more than tolerant to his son. but on the other hand, she always picks on her daughter, doesnt really care about her, makes her do all the housework and she is extremely mean at her. as a result, her daughter is even afraid of her to this day. nevertheless, now as they all grow up, its so easy to tell that what she did really affect both of her children. now her son is totally off the track..he is so addicted to computer games and he could hardly find an high school to go. her daughter, due to her lack of care, is also having a really hard time and a lot of other problems.

I think you should find a happy medium. Give them everything they so they will feel secure, when do they do something wrong give them a suitable so they learn the error in their ways, give them responsibilities so they will be responsible adults, but also give them treats every once in awhile so they feel special and loved.

May I add, raising children in a loving way does not mean spoiling them or pampering them too much. Disciplining children does not also require being too much strict. All things should be balanced. There should be reward and punishment so that children will learn from it and gives more meaning to their lives.

Well, role of parent in building up the kids plays a vital role. One cannot be too strict or over pampered them. There should be a balance in growing up the kid, the right time to pamper and encourage and again the right time to be strict and showing them a disciplined path.

i really liked this question, because education was always a very interesting topic since it is the essence of the new generation, and if we don't educate our children on good issues, and principles, we would be preparing a new arm to destroy our culture. So i think, that in order to educate our kids on good issues we should be in between. Which means that not to much strict and not too soft, as our prophet said, we should not be too much hard than they would break us, and not too much soft and they would clench us...

Give them unconditional love. Give them choices and consequences. Give them freedom to choose. Reason with them like adults. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Out think your children teaching them and guiding them along. Don't shelter your children from the evils of the world. Teach the how to deal with the evils of the world. Lastly, love them unconditionally!!!

we should be very careful while treating the children as a mom we dont want to be strict with them as we r very soft hearted but should be very careful as our love for them should not spoil them wit our love .we need not be strict with them but should teach them the values of life and everything and should correct them with our love .

I think both should meet in the middle. It's ok to spoil our kids once in awhile but it is still important to be strict at the same time. It's just a matter of explaining things to them and making them understand what's right from wrong, what they should and should not do and their limitations.

Raise your children in a natural way. Don't spoil them because it might turn them rude based on many experiences because you are trying to give what they want even it is too much. Don't be so strict because they might think that you don't love them and thus will take revenge against you. Raise them by always giving advices, knowing who their friends are and always be open to them. Talk with them always and ask if there is any problem so that you can prevent it.

well i guess the obvious answer would be somewhere in between the two. You don't want to spoil children because then how would they ever learn the value of things such as possessions. They would probably become quite selfish and think they're better then everyone else too. Then again, don't be too strict because then they may hate you :P

I think we can't help but spoil them to some extent, kids are naturally selfish and as parents having unconditional love its hard not to give them what they want. Just don't be extreme about it. However I do believe in discipline and structure in the home, so they don't grow up to be rude and unmannerly. Just show them to appreciate what they have and that what they have are privelages. I don't believe in letting them get there way if they fit about it, thats what spoils them! Giving in to their whining. They do grow to get used to that. Praise, rewards for good behavior is a way to give them what they want and motivate them to do better. There's no perfect parents out there, but discipline is sooo important! I think were all spoiled in some ways. But definately start young on the discipline, it will grow with them to be better people!

i believe in the saying that you should be a parent first.parents should be strict in a matter of molding their kid's value.

I think until they reach a certain age they can be spoiled. But once they start to walk and REALLY get into things they shouldn't be getting into, then it's time to get strict. By all means you can still spoil them and reward them for good behavior. You can teach manners and rules while they're young, they may not be able to say "yes, ok. I get ya. completely understand" but they know the difference between yes and no. You need to teach them basic manners and ethics by pre-school age, right? They need to learn not everything can be done their way. However, I do believe that being too strict can have its downfalls in the future as well. By not letting your kids get that spoiling attention they may respond negatively when they're holder.

I think there is a happy medium in between that. I think you can be firm enough with your children to help them to grow up responsible yet let them have fun. I don't think you should spoil them at all. Any good rewards they receive should be earned. I think earning their good rewards will make them appreciate them that much more.

i think people need to raise thier kids on the strict kind, when we spoil and pamper them they grow up not learning alot once they grow up. now i do know some kids who get pretty much everything they ever wanted but they are polite and well manner. i think it depend how parents raise them and not allow them to get away with alot. then i do know kids who's been pamper and stil is and they ended up having issues and wanting to try to boss adults around. until they played it with me and then they learned i dont play that. but i think you can do both, my kids i was very stirct with them and i didnt put up with too much from either. they had to polite to everyone, they are first got what they wanted until i became disable. to me i see its been a blessing to them because they got what they needed and worked for what they wanted

Guidance is the most important thing you can give to a child, the feelings they create by taking action-giving is an all important one, they feel great and want to give to others, and that everything they do has a reaction in life be it positive or negative, something that us even as adults dont fully realise and bring into our lifes untill its often too late. Letting our children know that they are blessed to be formed as beings and they are very special children with endless abilities, can improve their love to learn and performance throughout School and ultimately later in life We have 4 children all under 7 who get rewarded for great behaviour they dont get everything they want, but they do get to experience great things isnt it the experiences you remember over the things anyway, maybe this is a grea tidea for the next time you go out and buy a gift..why not an experience instead...

I have posted about two days ago that religion is a way of life. I said so because it helps me raise my children. As a father I would like to raise my children in an atmosphere of love as our Heavenly Father has loved us as His spirit children. Love will enable children to grow worthy to be called children of God.

I think we should be a little bit of both.. it is bad to spoil kids so we should teach them at a young age that they can't have everything and should accept that, but we should also give them what they want and need sometimes..