Random household chores.... (rant)
By shell2784
@shell2784 (752)
United States
January 13, 2010 10:09pm CST
Dishes, laundry, dusting, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming... just never ends! And I can't even get and dam help with it!
He promises to help with this or do that or "don't worry about it tonight dear, I'll take care of it tomorrow" and then tomorrow, it never happens, or the day after that or the day after that, so then I do it... and I actually b*tch about it out loud. While the rest of the world is sleeping I walk around the house taking care of all the stuff that he promised he'd do, and didn't... with tears in my eyes mind you.
I don't know why I'm so emotional about it. He's a guy. Guys don't do this kind of work... but 7, 8, 9 months ago, we shared all the chores equally. The house still wasn't perfect, but it looks a hell of a lot better than it does on a regular basis now.
So... starting tomorrow, I'm having a friend come in and clean the house once a week. If I can have a clean slate to start off with, I think I'll be fine.
Also - this weekend, I'm decluttering the house. All the crap that has been lying around since we moved here that hasn't moved an inch... GARBAGE! All the stuff that FOR MONTHS I've been promised will be moved to this room or that room or taken downstairs - I'm doing. If it breaks, not my problem. If it tears up the floor, I dn't care! The dam dog eats all the floors anyway! We all ready have... oh, I don't know 5 rooms worth of flooring to replace! What do I care if I add another one or two to that?
I apologise for the ranting but its just bugging me today. I stayed home from work, I feel like crappola - and I understand he worked all day, but I thought I'd get a littel back up. Not sure why - haven't had any for awhile now.
How about you folks? Do your significant others help with the housework? Does one of you handle it? Or do you split it up equally? Do you handle it by yourself and want to ring the other persons neck as much as I do?
Please... feel free... rant away! haha
4 people like this
11 responses
@fantasticbabe (981)
• Philippines
14 Jan 10
in my house everyone cooperates if their is no available to help then the chores is schedules except washing and cooking they are done everyday. if their is day we are all complete in the household and only one moves it gonna be unfair so before a quarrel is begin they need a lecture or else their would be no meal.
2 people like this
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
14 Jan 10
Hi shell. I could also rant in here, as I can find some similar scenarios in my house. But, I don't want to steal your thunder. So, I'd rather just be in the receiving end for this one. You write some colorful stuff when you rant. So, just rant away!
I even read chookie and CJscott's rant! Nice to know that I'm not alone in having these problems.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Jan 10
hi shell no this is not just womens work its everyones work a nd if your live in boy friend or hubby does not like that,then he had either better shape up or ship out,if you are not married, then its easier, tellhim if you love the jerk, to get his rear end in gear and help you work too so thats not a good excuse.my husband helped me with everything but the dishes,so I did not mind the dishes. he could sweep and vacumn, and wash clothes just as well as I could. he loved to 
help put the little ones to bed too. I love him for his consideration and his love. At first he was going to pull that men do not do this then he caught me crying and that ended that. he was soft hearted and warm too, get after your boyfriend now, tell him just what you have told us,dont be too soft on him, tell him this is a partnership a nd partners help each other. what would you do if you had two kids too like I did, no he has to help; make it either or,either you help or get the heck out of here.if I have to do this alone then I do not need you.[
help put the little ones to bed too. I love him for his consideration and his love. At first he was going to pull that men do not do this then he caught me crying and that ended that. he was soft hearted and warm too, get after your boyfriend now, tell him just what you have told us,dont be too soft on him, tell him this is a partnership a nd partners help each other. what would you do if you had two kids too like I did, no he has to help; make it either or,either you help or get the heck out of here.if I have to do this alone then I do not need you.[@shell2784 (752)
• United States
15 Jan 10
Boy! You feel very passionate about this don't you?
well, we are married, newlyweds =) and I'm not leaving the love of my life because he doesn't help as much as I'd like him to. lol Its not like he's the kind who sits on the couch and barks orders or anything.
I rounded him up and tonight and he helped out a lot more than usual!
@dmrone (746)
• United States
14 Jan 10
Hi, shell2784! My husband works away from home so he is not here to help with the chores most of the time. When he is home he helps with some of it. I won't let him wash clothes because he throws everything in the washer at once. I don't do all the chores alone though i have my children help. There are times though when the children and husband are being stubborn and won't help so i wind up doing it by myself. I do get tired of them thinking that i am supposed to do it all, but then i think well if i do it myself then it is done just how i want it. Seems like a no win situation.
1 person likes this
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
14 Jan 10
We all ready agreed that if my husband would have to work away from home he'd make sure that he made enough to take care of the bills... so then I wouldn't have to work. Maybe a part time job or something, but I wouldn't have to work full time... which would be nice... but I'd rather have him home at night.
When I do the laundry I mostly throw everything together too... except nothing black in with towels... they leave fuzzies all over my black pants. lol
My daughter does help here and there, but she's only 3... so I just ask her to do one or two things a night... sometimes she even vacuums for me! Or cleans the front of the oven, or the table... things like that. Oh, and she also dries dishes too! So that's really nice!
@chookie1971 (2271)
• Australia
14 Jan 10
It is so good for you to express your concerns. I have the same problem here.
I have contracted work which does take up some time. I am also a full time mother. So in my household, I have 4 people which includes me.
I have to start off with what my family members do.
My husband only cooks on days off work. He mows the lawns. He washes his work clothes.
My youngest washes her school clothes every night of school.
My oldest, well nothing.
Now for what I do.
wash and dry the dishes.
wash, dry, fold, and put clothes away
Pick up rubbish after husband cooks.
Clean up after 4 members.
vacuumm the house
Put the rubbish out.
put our bins out for collection and bring them in.
Clean all rooms in the house.
feed the animals.
cook when husbands works.
So really I can sort of understand what you are going through. For me, instead of having 2 kids, I pretty much have have 3 kids to look after. Yes, I include my husband as one of the kids because of what I have to do.
1 person likes this
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
14 Jan 10
EXACTLY! I have a 3 year old and a 25 year old (including my husband! haha)! Plus... 2 dogs, 2 cats and an iguana!
I have a computer room, back room, 1/2 bath, a HUGE playroom, a 250 sf laundry room, a mud room, the kitchen, livingroom, basement, 3 bedrooms and another bathroom! (I don't do the basement as much as I should... its not finished or anything... but we play down there in the winter and stuff)
The dishes rule used to be... if he cooked, I did the dishes... if I cooked, he did the dishes. Now its... regardless of how we get our dinner... I do the dishes. Grrrr
And then, when he does the laundry, he only puts his stuff away! Now, if we fold up clothes after my daughters asleep, then I put them on the little stand in the hallway - but other than that, EVERYTHING should go away!
But I did recently think of getting him and I seperate hampers. I'll take care of mine, Joslynn's and the bathroom and he can take care of his. Maybe... just maybe, I'll do that!
Oh us mommies! The things we don't do!
Well cheers to doing what we have to do to keep our families running girl!!!
1 person likes this
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
14 Jan 10
I can't really say that I am in the same situation. We have a housekeeper and Nanny for my baby. That makes a difference. What irritates me though is that he still expects me to do some stuffs and things for him even if we have a hired helper to do it. We just have the same number of work hours. I work as a Supervisor in our company here in our country and my work is really exhausting especially if I have to deal with some hardheaded subordinates who are not doing their job. Add to that the task of dealing with the Executives and demanding Managers. He works in the same company as a Trainer of our new hired employees. That is the reason I have an idea on what he does at work. It pisses me off whenever he would bug me to do something like prepare the lunch or dinner for him. Iron his working clothes. Make coffee for him, etc. It is fine if I am not tired. I actually love to do it for him. The problem is that sometimes when I'm really tired and all I want to do is just rest and sleep and he would ask me to those stuff for him he gets upset and will never talk to me for a couple of hours if I don't do it for him and reason out that I'm tired. Sigh!
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
14 Jan 10
Well honestly, if I had a housekeeper and a Nanny I'd be in heaven! Although, more so the housekeeper. Well, no. I guess a Nanny would be good too b/c then I'd save that extra hour or so a day with not having to drive to daycare.
My husband and I work for the same company too. I'm in the office and he's in the shop or on the road.
Him and I do go back and forth with who makes dinner... its just normally whoever feels like it. lol We keep it pretty even so that's nice.
My newly hired cleaning lady was supposed to come yesterday and didn't... and then she was going to come today and didn't... so... if she's not serious about it then I have a whole new problem on my hands b/c she'll have to move out of her apartment (she's my tenant). But I really think it'll help out. I say between the 2 of us (she's going to come once a week)... I think after 2 weeks or so I"ll be motivated enough to get a lot of the organization stuff done b/c I won't have to worry about the sweeping and vacuuming and dusting so much. It'll be nice!
1 person likes this
@squaretile (3778)
• Singapore
15 Jan 10
Well, I must admit that I'm very fortunate in the sense that my hubby shares the household chores with me. When we first got married, we did the chores together, after work or during weekends so that they would pass faster, and somehow it's not as dreary when there are two people working on it and chatting at the same time.
Then after my baby came out, it was too hard to share the chores since the baby took up so much of our time. So we hired part time help to come do the heavy cleaning once a fortnight.
That really helped our home to look less ratty. For the regular tasks that still need to be done by us, like laundry and dish-washing, we split it up or try to do it together after the baby is asleep. of course there are some times when I've asked him to do something, and if it's not done after a while i just shut up and do it myself. am trying my best not to turn into a nag. cos I have hands and can do things just as well as he can, so if it bugs me i just go get it solved forever.
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
14 Jan 10
Aww, I'm sorry to here that, it sounds like you're having a tough time. My husband and I are what my mother in law calls DINKS (dual income, no kids) so everything is pretty equal. We both work so I think it's pretty reasonable that we share household responsibilities pretty evenly. But he also works a lot longer than I do and a lot harder so I really have no problem picking up the slack. But one thing I do really dislike is when people say they will do something and then don't, and when they keep doing it over and over it's not only annoying but disrespectful as well. My husband does this occasionally and I will either pout and do it myself or rant and rave at him until he does it. I wish I could give you some better advice but I really don't have any, and I'm aware that my way of handling it is definitely not the best. But feel free to rant away if it helps!
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
14 Jan 10
A DINK!? That's CLASSIC!! Well then we're a DIOK... dual income one kid. But DINK is much better.
and yes... when people will say they'll do something and don't ever do it drives me INSANE! My girlfriend in one of our apartments asked that we bring the truck up to bring her air conditioner down... its not that we can't carry it... but its all down hill with about 5 or 6 inches of snow. So for the last 2 weeks my husbands' been saying "I'll get it, I'll get it"... so 2 days ago I got sick of it and drove my truck right up thru the yard and put the A/C in the front seat of my truck and brought it back down. I should have just pulled it up to the garage and put it in... but I try not to go in there... that's the "man cave" if you know what I mean. lol SO I told T that it was in there and he said "ok, I'll get that out of there".... today he moved it from the front seat to the picnic table and said he'd get it when he came home. I didn't really like it but I'm not about to carry it across the driveway with all the snow we have laying on it.
*sigh*
The things we do for our men. lol
1 person likes this
@angela018 (143)
• Philippines
15 Jan 10
hello shell2784.
well, in my own experiences.. about house hold chores.. well it pissed me off.. i am too lazy to do that,.. that it is fine with me to see messy.. lol kiddin.. but maybe ill do if what i can do and divide the chores with my siblings.. we if i work they will too.. lol...
@cmhjjh (98)
• United States
14 Jan 10
I think every household has that one person does more of the cleaning then the other. My husband will help every now and then but when he does house chores watch out he desires a cookie when I do them which I do all the time it is expected and nothing is ever said no thank you nothing. Granted he works full time and watches the kids in the morning when I am at work but on the other side of things I work part time come home and make lunch which he use to have ready when I got home but not anymore it is to hard to make lunch with 2 young kids apparently even though I do it every night when he is at work and on the weekends when he is outside working on something and I am in makeing supper with both the kids running around anyways then he leaves for work and I have the kids. Plus I teach piano lessons on monday evenings so work about 25 hours a week only 15 less then him and I do a bulk of the house chores.
I don't think it will ever be even but that is life I guess he does take care of the vehicles etc but when everyone in the house is tired and burnt out it just seems to push a person over the edge somedays.
@Thunderll (102)
• United States
15 Jan 10
It is a lot of work trying to keep a house clean all by yourself. It's also so intimidating if it does manage to pile up! I got sick once and was unable to clean for quite a while. The trash, clutter, laundry, dishes, everything just piled up. I would look at the pile and just think about how long it would take to clean all of it up, and would put it off to a later date. Finally I kicked myself in the butt and got it done, but boy was it annoying! Luckily, my husband does help me clean now. I might have to ask him a couple of times, but if there's something I feel like I need help with, he will make a little time for me. I wouldn't say it's anywhere near equal, but it's nice to have even a little bit of help. I understand that some people might be tired from working all day, but keeping a house in order is work too. Regardless of how long you work away from home, you have to work at home too. One person in the relationship shouldn't force the other too do everything, especially if they both have jobs.
