i am so unhappy with work. how can i deal with it when resigning isnt an option?

Hi Kukaisiton! Seems like I am the only one who's got a different opinion here. I started a discussion that is similar to this. All I can say is: LIVE FOR YOUR DREAMS, FOR YOUR LIFE. BE HAPPY! I could feel how you're feeling, because like you, I also had a job that felt like hell, both because of the bosses and the workplace itself. I couldn't stand it anymore, I felt like I was just wasting my time over it even when I was getting paid. What I did? I resigned, and didn't regret it. Come on, we only live once, so LIBERATE your spirit. Yes you have a responsibility to fulfill for your family, but it doesn't have to sacrifice your OWN happiness. When you work, it should feel like PLAY, and not WORK. If you feel like resigning, look first for a job that you REALLY like, and then go after it. Try your best to get hired, and when you did, RESIGN from your work in research. I hope your family understands that. You are not a walking credit card. You are a human being that's supposed to do what you're supposed to do, and that is being happy. Good luck. :-)

I have been where you are now and I can appreciate how you feel. I had a job years ago that I hated so much; every morning I used to sit in the café before work and cry into my cappuccino! The way I got out of it was to actively search for another job which is not an easy thing to do when you lack the time because you are already working! I don’t know whether you are a spiritual person or not but asking the Universe for help is effective. I used to recite this affirmation as often as I could: “I have the perfect job in the most perfect way and I give perfect service for perfect pay”. The affirmation motivated me to get out of what seemed a hopeless situation and over time I ended up in a much better position. Regardless of your beliefs, stay as positive as you can as you look around for something else; try to look for any positive aspects of your job and focus on them all the while knowing that you are making every possible effort to get out.

You are way too young man for you to form such strong opinions. Yu say your job is a Research Job, I fail to understand how that could be uninteresting. I would love a job that posed new meaningful technical problems each day, making each day a day of learning. In my youth I too found my job boring, but that was because I had to search for ways of making it interesting. Those days, I too used to find meeting boss an unhappy situation. Today you have Email. Those days, I had to meet him in person and appraise him. I gritted my teeth, thought of my responsibilities, cursed my "routine" job and continued. Not that it has become any interesting today. For people like me, who would love to do original thinking on any problem, a routine job is a punishment.Your kind of flexi time job is just about one sufficient reason for me to love it. We do have flexi-timimgs and some freedom to move away from job spot at my level of seniority that is, but what you are describing is simply a dream for me. I would celebrate it.Well, how do/did I tackle the boredom of my repetitive job? I used to selct a few tasks that are to my taste and perform them in my free time. Each day's routine will become bearable thinking of the reward at the end of the day! If you dislike research type of job you must choose or seek a change to a routine job. I hope I have got you right.

If resigning isn't an option...think about the people that are looking for jobs and think about your responsibilities. We all put up with some kind of bullsh@#t on our jobs or someone that annoys the hell out of us, but we hang in there. Pray before you go in to work (if you're a religous person)..it helps me a lot! Good luck

Your post is saying 2 different things: One, that you have all kinds of time to do as you please in regards to how long you work in a day yet at the end you say you can't understand how people have time to go to events, have vacations or hang out! Things are bad all over for everyone right now and I have very good friends who would pick up dog poo all day long as long as they were getting paid for it! I am not crazy about my job either sometimes and we all have bosses we find difficult to get along with. My suggestion to you is this: suck it up and thank God you have what you have!

I'm in a situation kind of like yours. I hate going into work because my boss scares me, I'm scared of doing anything wrong as he isn't affraid to give me bad assessments, I need to keep on his good side to get promoted and move on but the stress of doing this is making work so unhappy. I have started seeing a psychologist, this may sound pretty drastic as it did to me in the beginning but its really helped. She is helping to raise my confidence and although she has labelled me as depressed we are finding a way to my recovery. This has all been brought on by my job and fear/hate of going into work. I can't say whether it would work for you but its definitely helping me. I've been told not to expect instant results and I'm going to see this through.

I wish you resigned from that job. YOu are no longer happy and it will only lead to depression if you stay there for long. i feel your sadness, the best advice I can give is to look for a new job. A new environment can refresh your mind. Go to a job that consist of many people in the workplace, the place where you can talk to many people in a day. As a researcher, you go to your work sometimes alone, doing your job, either canvassing materials or taking surveys etc, it is a lonely job for me when you are alone. Lets add your boss, if you are not in good terms with your boss that is sad. When you are not in good terms, it is impossible to see your potential. You can't grow alone in your work, it has to have the help of your boss because they are the ones who will see your achievements, but if it will not happen , it is impossible for you to grow there. Find another job and I hope the job that you will get into it, gives you happiness this time.

Been through, done that. I did resign and then looked for something else that makes me so happy right up till now. Sometimes when thing aren't working out at work, the best is to look for another job. But some people love their jobs so much and it's just that they can't get along with some people at work. Therefore, sometimes to be honest and voice out our own opinions might be the best bet. Some are also very inclined politically at work and they can get away with everything. I'd say just ignore the screaming boss, do the work and hopefully the next opportunity comes quick for you. I know it's not easy because I've been through that phase.

I know working in such a place is hard, but try to think of the positive good things, that come with this job. Sometimes we have to stand up for ourselves but in a nice way. When we keep to ourselves, people think we are the ones with the problem. Keep praying for guidence in this and best of luck to you..better days are ahead.

What cannot be cured has to be endured Take you boss's blowing up in your stride and when you do that he will realise that you are no longer affected by that and he will calm down. Try and be friends with him. This works some times.

Well i guess, do what you think is good for you and do what you think is the right thing to do. Do you love yourself, well i guess you really do, cause if you don't i am sure you will not even bother writing this discussion here in mylot, anyway, for your problem, what do you think is the best thing to do for you? What do you feel? If you continue handling the stress, what do you think will happen to you, if you cut the stress then what do you think will happen to you? You are the only one who can answer that question and solve your own problem, none of us have the right and the power to decide for you, just know what is the best to decide and try following what your heart desires and am sure you will be in good condition in no time. Have a great day and hope this response helped you a lot. Have a great day ahead and think positively

In fact you shoule insist that before my work is like you,I am vrey upset and eager to change jobs,but after working for a relaxed feeling every day to pass the time.Busy life makes me full,self-confidence.Things all right,The things are not perfect,Insist on,Finghting!

Wow, I have the same feeling too. I am a nurse but my job is not related to the diploma I have. There is nothing I can do, I have to work to have money. In my country when you decide to work as a nurse, you have to volunteer or even pay hospitals to do that. I just hate the though of that. My parents spent a lot to send me to school and I am nowhere near my goal in life. Well, I have to work and get a job that pays high. I want to save money so I could pursue nursing career. But I just can't save and I don't know why... Well, I hate my job because I have to speak a different language and sometimes hard to understand. I get so nervous everytime I get a call. I just hate this job, I like encoding and the office stuff that comes with it, but calling out and trying hard to speak english spontaneously is really hard and just so hate it.

the best way might be to find an outlet like music.

Hi kukaisiton, From what you had descibe, its not the job but its your boss you are afraid of, do not be afraid of a boss, you have to talk to him and stand up for yourself, he is just an ordernary person who have many faults as well, tell him how you feel and you would not be push out of a job because of his temper. He might just listen to you. Tamara

Even I dont like my current job and i face the same situation of yours. But what to do? Sometimes we end up in getting a job which is not THE JOB for us. But all is in the game and we cant do much about that. My suggestion to you is, take things in a light manner. Apply for the posts or job of your liking and work hard to achieve that. That is the only way to be in the race. If you are really stressed with the job kind, then my suggestion would be practise YOGA and Meditation. It definitely has some very good healing effects and I am sure you would be relieved of the stress and strain of the daily work life. Hope my small suggestions will help you. Have a nice day. cheers;

Are there ever other opportunities available where you work? Maybe you can post for something else? If not, then try to find something that makes you happy to do when you are not at work. It can be creating a blog or website, adopting a pet, then think about this while you are at work. Life is crazy - yes - and I have had my share of bad experiences - but hang in there because you are right - you have responsibilities to fulfill.